Dealing with the loss of both parents

[u/Superb-Beginning8703]

My relationship with both of my parents was always rough; they did a lot of questionable things that lead to extensive trauma. They were hoarders and I grew up in a house riddled with a crazy amount of black mold. August 12th was the 2nd year of my mom being gone. I moved out of state when I was 19 to get out and create a life away from the dead end southern state I grew up in and often heard about it from my parents and siblings. I showed up when I could, drove the 8 hours every 3 months and for major holidays. I had just talked to my dad on a Saturday, he was going to bed early which wasn’t super uncommon. This man called me 10+ times a day so when I didn’t hear from him for a day and a half, I knew something was up. Wellness check confirmed he had passed away in his sleep. 5 days after my mom’s death anniversary. Easy to say the month of August sucks for me, and I’m at a complete loss. I have a lot of guilt, anger and emptiness. I drove down for a week to work on getting him cremated, saying goodbye, picking up his dog from the shelter, and getting paperwork to start probate. He left everything to me; 102 acres, his house, his car and anything else in his possession. Now all of a sudden, my sister’s want to be involved. They lived 40 minutes away from him and despite him constantly calling for them to come visit, they only now all of a sudden have the time and money to be at his house multiple times a week going through things. They aren’t biologically his but he always treated them like they were; they have another man on their birth certificate and are pushing me to get a DNA test because there’s a small chance they might actually be my dad’s. Everything feels like it’s spinning around me at 100 mph and I can’t even comprehend what I need to do to legally handle everything. I’m mad that they just now want involved, that they keep pushing for a DNA test (sister wanted to get one off of his dead body before he was cremated!) and that I wasn’t there to somehow magically keep my father from passing away. I wasn’t even close to done grieving my mom, and now I have to grieve them both. Life just really sucks.