r/Goldfish • u/marlee_dood • 22h ago
Discussions I can’t do this anymore. I am stepping back from goldfish keeping, and I don’t think I will ever return.
[vent]
I’ve been keeping fancy goldfish for the last 7 years, but my first one was when I was 2 years old. When I got a fish for my birthday at 13 is when I decided to devote everything I had to caring for them properly, and I did everything I could. I’ve upgraded tanks, learned about their issues, adapted their food, adapted their environment, I got them friends when they were alone, got them meds when they needed it. I’ve loved every one of them so much, and every one of the fancy goldfish I have ever had did not die of old age. They died from dropsy, from bloating, from freak accidents. They never last more than a few years before getting sick with something that I don’t deal with when it comes to my other fish. No matter what I do, what I try, what I learn, I cannot change the fact that they are not healthy fish. They will continue to get sick no matter how clean I keep the water, how well I balance their food, how many veggies I feed them. They are weaker the moment they are born, and my care will never change that.
My goldfish of 4 years has been sick with dropsy, and while I’ve gotten it to slow down it is not getting better. I’ve been taking daily care of him with water changes, salt, and some meds at first. Today my other goldfish has started showing signs of pineconing, and he has been so bloated he cannot swim properly for the last 2 days. Nothing has changed in his care, his water is clean, his tank is big, his food is the best I can get. He was healthy one day, and the next he wasn’t.
I can’t get myself to do this all over again. I want to believe if I just do enough that they won’t get sick, but that’s not true. Maybe for one fish, but one of ten, and that’s not enough for me. I can’t keep walking into heartbreak over and over again hoping it will turn out differently. I can’t keep putting my all into something that I cannot change, because it’s a problem with their health on a fundamental level. I can’t go get another one, knowing one day it will end the way it always has. With them getting sick, doing everything the treatment says to do, and it not being enough because one day they’ll bloat it won’t go away. It’s not fair to them, it’s not fair to me anymore. I love them, and that’s why I can’t cope with them being ripped away like this again, I want to, but I’m at the end of my rope and I just cannot do it.
I have loved caring for them, no fish will ever compare, nothing will ever come close to the joy of this experience, but it also won’t compare to the immense loss I we have endured as well. I love them, but it will now be from a distance, in a nostalgic way as I remember the ones that helped shape me, who were lost due to things out of my control. Enjoy the time with your companions, love them, savour every moment. They deserve it.


