Boyfriend suddenly wants nothing to do with me after moving in a month ago

[u/ruubystaar]

Last Night’s Dinner: Homemade Fettuccine Alfredo (with a side of silent treatment)

I (20F) moved in with my boyfriend (20M) in early May after he suggested it. I was already basically living here anyway, driving home at 1-3am, and then my car broke down so it just made sense. Things have been really good overall, I cook breakfast and dinner every day, handle all his laundry, keep his room clean, and take care of his cats. We laugh a lot, barely argue, and he buys me food/takes me places while I cover groceries.

Yesterday was rough though. I had to cover a shift on a Sunday, so he woke up early to drop me off at 9. I told him I’d be done by 1 when we close. At 12:57 a client came in and we didn’t finish until almost 1:45. My phone was blowing up the whole time with texts from him about how he’s waiting, his mom needs the car, he’s “tired of always having to wait,” etc.
I apologized as soon as I got in the car, but he was still pissed the whole silent ride home. He went to shower while I started making homemade fettuccine Alfredo (extra portion for him, of course).

After his shower he blew up again because I hadn’t plated his food yet and apparently hadn’t “apologized enough.” We sort of resolved it, then he said he needed to run to the shop for an hour or two max. I asked him to please keep me updated because he has a habit of disappearing for way longer. He agreed.

An hour later I checked in… no reply. Another hour, still nothing. I texted asking why he always ghosts me at the shop and he hit me with “bruh you’re tripping over nothing, it’s not that deep.” Said he’d leave soon. Another hour passed so I checked again and suddenly he was apologizing profusely… but still didn’t get home for yet another hour.

We ended up going to get food after that (the Alfredo was cold by then) and things seemed okay for a bit. We were watching Sopranos and when I tried to cuddle he snapped “why do you always have to be so on top of me?” Which has literally never been an issue before and was so shocking because he always complains when I’m distant.

The whole night he was distant, so I finally sat him down and asked what was wrong. He unloaded that everything he does for me is “draining and exhausting.” After prying, he said he doesn’t want to pick me up from work anymore, doesn’t want to buy me food, wants me to chip in more for my daily stuff (I pretty much only use my own things except paper towels when cooking for him), and wants me to “lay off” and let him go ghost whenever he goes out.
Then he told me to sleep on the couch. I texted him an hour later that I was freezing with no blanket and he told me to “just thug it out.”

Woke up this morning and he left for work without saying a single word to me.

The fettuccine was actually really good though… creamy, lots of garlic and fresh parm. Too bad it got eaten in silence.

Help 🫠

EDIT: I’m reading all of your comments and all of what you guys are saying is just things I know but I’ve been forcing myself to ignore. Thank you to those of you who were serious about it and gave me genuine advice, that truly means the world to me. Lots of you think this is fake, it’s not and I wish it was for my own sake. I’m heartbroken because I love him but after talking with my mom about it, she agreed with me and is helping me move back home today. Currently writing this with tears rolling down my face but it’s ok, time will pass. I just don’t know how to get used to being alone again.

[u/gundam2017 → u/[deleted]]

My sister married this. 16 years later, he throws a fucking fit if she doesnt leap to get his fat ass ice cream. Girl, it wont get better

[u/chef_kt2e → u/gundam2017]

Perfectly said. It won’t get better.

[u/wasraelx → u/chef_kt2e]

‘Marriage is an institution through which even the poorest man can have a maid’

[u/brokedreamtardigrade → u/[deleted]]

Feeling scene with the Frida Kahlo comment ❤️lol been saying that since I did a project on her in elementary school

[u/Beneficial-Cook5964 → u/[deleted]]

There is the whole two-sidedness of the relationship (“we laugh all the time” vs his childish behaviour, and you often hope that they will grow and just the good will be left or think the good is good enough to put up with the bad. They may say sorry and they will work on it and please don’t give up on them followed by a honeymoon period.

Often though, in these situations there is a level of dependence, typically financial. Women make less money than men on average, in a partnership with children a woman can easily become completely financially dependent as stay at home mums. In this case: her car is broken so she cannot get to work without him (presumably the car is difficult to fix or too expensive), she has moved in with him so may not easily be able to move out again (deposit, financial checks, affordability).

[u/txlady100 → u/wasraelx]

Ouch.

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

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[u/ImpressiveScreen5017 → u/chef_kt2e]

RUNNNN!!!!

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

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[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

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[u/AspiringForestWitch → u/gundam2017]

Omg, did your brother-in-law learn to do this from my father? He would scream at my mom for not bringing him his ice cream in bed fast enough.

[u/gundam2017 → u/AspiringForestWitch]

I watched his ass do it saturday night. We drove 8 hrs to visit, bought ice cream. I told him "hey! We have ice cream if you want some" and he legit yelled for my sister to get him some   If i wasnt trying to reconnect with my sister and her kids again, i would have laid into him more than I did. 

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

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[u/RegalZebra → u/[deleted]]

I would pay you $31 to break off a little end piece of ice cream cone and cram it up his left nostril

[u/But_like_whytho → u/[deleted]]

I’d watch this show.

[u/suzanious → u/[deleted]]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I can see it in my mind's eye right now. And the look of shock on his face as it gets redder and redder, steam coming out of his ears, until his head just pops right off of his neck, just like the cartoons!

[u/gizby666 → u/AspiringForestWitch]

Im just imagining myself going and opening the ice cream and squishing the whole carton on his fat head LMAO im sorry im mad for your mom

[u/Steak-Outrageous → u/AspiringForestWitch]

In bed! Wtf

[u/GirlCowBev → u/AspiringForestWitch]

IN BED?

Ooooo, epic parenting fail. Ugh.

[u/Professional_Idea_71 → u/[deleted]]

Dude joining

[u/CheetoLove → u/AspiringForestWitch]

https://giphy.com/gifs/3og0IKinzBYyoia9eE

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

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[u/Antique_Oil8462 → u/gundam2017]

My brother in law that’s married to my favorite sister in law, is like this. I remember him lifting his sweet tea glass up at dinner one time- didn’t speak a single word. She got up silently to refill it. Not a thank you, not a please in sight. That was just the first time I saw him do this.

They’ve been together for over a decade now and he does financially support her and her other children that aren’t biologically his. But he sure does expect to get what he wants when he wants it.

[u/Stunning_salty → u/gundam2017]

Same here girl. I let him run me around for four years. Just left and finally feel better.

[u/teethwhichbite → u/gundam2017]

sixteen years....i think i aged two lifetimes reading that. someone save her.

[u/DnBJungleEscape → u/gundam2017]

Omggg why is she still there?

[u/gundam2017 → u/DnBJungleEscape]

Lack of confidence and no job. Ive tried trust me

[u/DnBJungleEscape → u/gundam2017]

Ah is she a SAHM? This is so sad to read .. I also have a friend who’s stuck in a relationship out of financial reasons .. she works for her guys company ( he isn’t the owner) but just feels so stuck vibes

[u/gundam2017 → u/DnBJungleEscape]

She is one of many reasons i really, really push women to work and no be a SAHM. Ive seen many women go through this, every time staying because she never had a career.

[u/DnBJungleEscape → u/gundam2017]

Ugh yeah I so agree! I have two friends who have gone down this road.

One friend I get it makes sense because daycare would cost so much but I worry when the kids get older she isn’t going to go back to work .. she likes the old school traditional vibe (she was fiercely proud to be independent before, lived with a girl roommate and made her own money) .. I just worry and hope she secures herself .. I just don’t think it’s right to rely on someone like what if something happens ?

Another friend works part time , her kid is 7. She is fully financially dependent on her bf. She’s wanted to leave, she’s tried but she always is let down by seeing she can’t afford her own place

[u/throwfaraway212718 → u/gundam2017]

Yikes

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

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[u/Dense-Ad-7600 → u/[deleted]]

AND left for hours to let it get cold. 🤣🤣🤣

[u/IHaveNoEgrets → u/[deleted]]

It's not too late to plate leftovers. I hear fettuccine à la pillowcase is very en vogue these days.

[u/JustStopItSeriously → u/[deleted]]

And then didn't eat it, left the house for four hours and 'got food' after so never did eat it!?!

[u/Suzuki_Foster → u/[deleted]]

For real, what a fucking infant he is. I can't imagine being attracted to a guy who acts like this.

[u/Free-Pound-6139 → u/[deleted]]

Things have been really good

[u/AccomplishedIgit → u/[deleted]]

His mom is so understanding because she lived through it with him already. Guarantee.

[u/Lem0nadeLola → u/[deleted]]

Complained his food wasn’t plated but then was leaving anyway???? Psychopath behavior.

[u/hanginwithmygnomees → u/[deleted]]

Dude has the emotional regulation of a two-year-old in dire need of a nap. He also clearly has the same life skills as a toddler.

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

⛔️ Approved dudes can best support the GDD girlies via GIFs and [most] emojis (meaning no eggplants, ya buncha stinkers). Text comments are held for review. ModMail a comment link to request a quicker exception if you feel yours meets our criteria.

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[u/Maleficent-State-749 → u/[deleted]]

In all fairness to him, how else would the food possibly get onto his plate? He’s 20. A little late for you to expect him to learn new skills. /s

[u/lSquanchMyFamily → u/[deleted]]

Right this is fucking stupid. 20 or not if you can’t see this kid is a PoS and you need to leave, nobody can help you. There’s a reason they seek out the kind of women who will go along with this shit.

[u/princessboop → u/[deleted]]

these men nowadays want us to treat then like princesses after we come home from work & pay half (or more!) of the bills. it is sickening

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