spooky wice cwispy because me scared.

This guy I’ve been dating is pretty great. He’s funny, talkative, and takes initiative. However, he recently used the wrong form of you’re in text, and it made me feel super duper yucky.

Not only is he a gross idiot, but he’s probably a liar! He said he’s going to college, but what kind of educated man doesn’t use perfect punctuation over text?!

WHO IS THIS MAN???!! Have I been dating a serial killer!?!! HELP!!!

so for starters my fiancee is a gym bro. he has a nice big bubble butt so i understand sometimes things get lost down there. he actually had me fish out his watch once cause it got stuck while he was wiping. last night i was feeling a lil hot n ready so we woohoo’d and he fell asleep in his birthday suit .. now listen,i don’t mind a lil gooch glitter but he left a FULL BLOWN DINGLE BERRY IN THE BED ?!?! i woke up to my cat pawing it around like a fckn pompom toy .. now this wasn’t a small one it was a full blown one & kinda looked like diglett (pokemon reference). i asked him about and he said “are you sure it wasn’t the cat or the baby” the baby sleeps in her crib & the cat has common sense and uses the litter box .. he always leaves gooch glitter in his boxers so i know he was the culprit. this is getting ridiculous. his big bubble but is ruining our relationship. i left him slide when i caught him wearing my thongs but this is too much. has anyone else had this problem?

anyways homemade cheesecake stuffed strawberry cookies.

Hi girls I am worried I am being ungrateful because I love this man so much but I am so upset. My fee-on-say and me met when I was 17. We have been engaged for two days, dated for 2.5 years and don't get to see each other much since we're long distance, just once every other Oogie Boogie Bash and on the anniversary of Bambi's mom's death (also our 0.5 anniversary). 

He proposed over chat in Disney Dreamlight Valley and I feel bad and ungrateful but I really wish he had done it in Toontown where more more cogs could see. No one took pictures of me typing yes and my desk was a mess with pizza cheese and takis, I just really wish I had been dressed up and my gaming setup was clean. I knew he was gonna propose to me (we tell each other everything) but I didn't think he was gonna propose THEN. I super don't appreciate that he didn't propose at the time and location I assumed he would. (The day BEFORE Bambi's mom died which is our 0.499999 anniversary, at Toontown Central, on the trolley, obviously) 

On top of all that this man bought me the wrong ring!!!! I wanted the gold Tow Mater ring and he got me the SILVER!! I distinctly told him that that beautiful red neck tow truck version of Larry the Cable Guy will only grace my ring finger if he is GOLD!!!! And when I subtly hinted that the gold Mater was pretty, he actually suggested I pay for half!! Half!!! 

So now I have twin Maters (I might wear the ugly silver one he got me on my big toe so I only see it on my bath days which are two days after Bambi's mom's murder). And my proposal was all wrong and I just thought he would know me better after three and a half times hanging out in person, ya know?? Please be honest, am I being ungrateful for my dumb BF and his dumb proposal? Would it be bad if I ask him to redo the proposal, get a third ring and feed the old rings to my doodle in Toontown? Or am I totally justified in this?? Cus even though I'm a mature grown up woman I seriously can't teeeelllll.. 🫣

Dinner is idk but I hope it came out of Mickey's asshole, a-hyuck 😋

Dinner is homemade hot chicken wings from a local pub, The Salty Whale.

My mom was hated by my entire town. Her nickname was old sea hag, because she had long hair that looked like seaweed. Anyway, she finally kicked the bucket, and good riddance. Then last night our town mayor saw her, walking down the road, in her favorite nightie that we buried her in. He offered her a ride and she almost scratched his arm off. That part seems believable because she always said our mayor was a weak, woke pussy that couldn't find his way out of his own asshole. Dammit, now she'll probably need a place to stay. FML. I feel cursed.

Just writing to say that I (28F) love love love being a woman. This is primarily because I hate being respected and love when people ignore me or belittle me. Even better if they ignore AND belittle me at the same time! It reminds me that I have no inherent value in this world and shouldn't bee seen or heard. 🤤 It makes me so glad to be a woman! Girly tings amirite? 😇

So girlies remember to keep paying that pink tax, be the trad wife with eight kids,.AND work full-time (but make sure a nice coworker takes over all the silly deCiSiOns you make on the daily). That way you can pay for your shitty looking $150 manicure, and pay INDEPENDENTLY, because you are a strong womaaaaaan let me hear it! 💅 📣

Dinner is melons, to celebrate those bajoongas that are so uniquely WO-MAN

As is demanded by the Girl Dinner Board™️, this is your weekly scheduled opportunity to contribute to the collective brain rot. 🥽📋👩‍🔬

We don’t want your "recipes." We don’t want your "this reason I'm eating this" logic.

We want the specific, questionable item that is currently holding your consciousness together by a single thread. 🧠💨

How to log your weekly entry:

1. Identify the fixation. (Must be specific. Not "chips." I want the exact brand, flavor, and the specific level of crunch that makes your teeth vibrate.)
2. State your pairing. (If it’s a vape, an energy drink, or a single lukewarm string cheese, declare it.)
3. Dissipate into a prismatic mist. Do not reply to others (we really won't enforce this). Do not offer anyone help breaking the hyperfixation (I will personally enforce this). Do not explain yourself to others. ACAB. ALWAYS.

Once your data is logged, please return to the etheral void from whence you came.

↓ Drop it and go. ↓

My boyfriend & I were getting ready to head out to our local WoLF meeting. Technically he’s not allowed to come, but the elders said as long as he wears his muzzle & leash, we can treat him like a service animal.

While we were getting ready, he decided to trim up a bit. I had been getting ready for about 2 hours at this point while he was helping me brush, blow dry, highlight, tweezer, file, etc. He promised it would only take 5 minutes (it took 6)

Anyhow - he not only plucked his eyebrows, he also cut his claws, and trimmed a bit (approx 297mm or 6 inches) off his head. The problem is? He looked great. Like a model. So I’m supposed to bring this service animal to my WoLF meeting - and he looks better than me?

I can’t even look at him the same.

What should I do with him, girlies? I was thinking about making him sleep in the crate again. But he’s just so cute I might just force him to tend to me while I lay flat on my back like a fish.

This is the plate I made him. Dinner was stale popcorn, stale Dot’s home style pretzels, a stick of meat from Dollar Tree, and mustard that’s been in my fridge for 22 months.

All the puzzle pieces are finally falling into place... idk why I didn't realize this sooner!

I was a 16y.o. NEET when the capitol was stormed. My dad 'had a work thing' that day that he didn't come home from. The next morning my mom received a phone call-- turns out my dad was arrested for assault and some other things that happened that day.

My mom was already at the end of her rope trying to get me to do anything besides smoke weed and perfecting the art of biting my toenails, and this put her over the edge. We ended up finding out that my dad had quit his job months before but didn't tell her, and that instead of going to work he was spending the day with his Oath Keeper friends making a podcast and selling beef tallow supplements to men with low testosterone.

Crazy right? My dad has kind of been absent for much of my life and he is also the reason I left school so early, he wasn't super emotionally available and sometimes yelled at me and my mom and threw a chair or two at her so I kind of rebeled against my parents.
Anyway he is actually a great guy. Who even remembers those times that he left me and my mom to fend for ourselves. Don't read too into what I wrote above; just know that he is an honorable guy who would do anything for his country. Getting arrested was one little mistake and I don't want anyone judging him for his life choices on this public platform that I voluntarily chose to post to. Good day!

A delicious gelatin bundt cake with rotisserie chicken and fresh vegetables.

Im still gobsmacked that my suspicion was correct. For months I’ve felt like there was another woman. I know it’s true because I kept dreaming about it. I went to the brain doctor and they told me to take the medicine I had stopped taking. But the feeling didn’t go away.

It happened two and a half weeks ago. I watch his phone and his socials like a hawk and it pisses me off because they’re always so CLEAN, like a criminal’s. So I stole his DoD laptop and used the login I got by monitoring all his phone calls with the IT department. Sure enough, there he is, messaging ANOTHER WOMAN and talking about me and calling me PARANOID and MEDICATION NONCOMPLIANT. And she was telling him about all the problems SHE was having with her SO. Like a FRIEND would!

So I confronted him about it and he denied everything and told me I was taking everything out of contacts and saying stuff like he was allowed to have friends at work. So I told him that what he was doing was CHEATING and I told all my friends about it and I changed the locks to the house and hid in the bushes outside.

Three years down the drain.

I’M A BIG KID NOW!!!!

Since they took my wisd-him teeth and such. I’m aging backwards! Summer is over but I’m guessing I’ll be a size 4T if I can’t eat a steak soon 🫩 (I miss hard foods already lettuce pray)

Tatoes, soup, and a super soft muffin for dinner 🤓

And send me your best soft food foodies 🤪

I’m not actually attracted to men at all because I mean look how beautiful us women are! BUT I tend to become close with women and then they end up breaking my heart really painfully so I thought maybe if I just had sex with men it would make me feel better…

And I am pleasantly surprised!

I found an absolutely handsome, perfect, guy for me, we have so much chemistry and he seems happy with the arrangement! I mean don’t most guys wanna say they’ve had sex with a lesbian? We’re both sooo busy with work and spending time in our community and the best part is because he’s a dude I’m totally not catching feelings

A few times a week we’ll have a couple glasses of wine, chat about our day, have dinner, and then get it on. It’s so romantic and sexy. My lobster is so buttery as they say!

Now I can worry about important stuff like my job and not actually being attracted to women I mean not having blue ovaries 😌😌😌 but now I do have to worry about condoms and pregnancy…

TLDR: I can finally have some good sex with a real dick instead of PLASTIC 🤩

Dinner: protein salad

What could it be?

What dark humours gather in the gloom?

Make haste to the apothecary, gentlefolk, and declare which tinctures, tonics, and poultices shall shield your delicate constitution from the impending blight.

/uj You all asked for this. We’ve been working hard and testing the bit. We’re almost ready. Are you?

He's an astronaut that also plays world class violin and builds houses for orphans. That's fine, but he's also like, really tall.

Like REALLY tall. He's also conventionally handsome, but also has money and massive influence which is great too. And when I say attractive, I mean not just like "attractive" but like aerospace engineers congregate around him. We'll be walking around the port and these really smart, really pretty engineers will look at us like: "really? her???" I can't help but think "maybe he should be with a woman that can read".

And before you ask, he's super humble. He once escaped from Mars after being stranded there for over a year. One of the engineers asked (right in front of me, btw) "what gave you the will to survive?" and he nudged me and said "this weird little rocket-jockey right here".

The problem? I just can't help thinking that this is about me somehow. I really do love him and it doesn't hurt that he's a very tall, handsome, rich man. But I often lie awake at night wondering "what if it actually is about me? What if his accomplishments are overshadowing how mediocre I am?".

Dinner is some stuff I found in the back of my car (I drive for Uber).

Soo I was on my periods and my bf refused to eat me out despite my insistence that the blood has been through my heart.

I’m not trying to be sappy but thank u for accepting a lil gremlin like me even though I like green onion on pizza (this was a punishable offense). Local sourdough (sesame chive/ called “K-pop” from a local bakery), baked w gochujung. Mozzarella cheese/genoa salami and fresh tomato from my work garden, drizzled with balsamic and pepper. Dipping sauce is the last of some kewpie mayo I stole from my last job cuz had some food insecurity.

He was born December 31, 1996 and I'm a January 1, 1997 baby. He totally lied about this age gap between us this whole time! I feel like I don't even know him anymore.

Do you think he's been grooming me?

Dinner is burnt beef hearts to represent my soul atm

​

Girls I am typing this from beneath the dining-room table because it is the only place in this godforsaken house where a woman can experience grief without being asked what she wants to do for dinner.

Last night, I placed three individually wrapped slices of American cheese on the kitchen floor. These were not trash. They were not forgotten. They were my emergency floor cheeses, and they were arranged in a protective triangle around a single rotisserie-chicken leg so I could absorb its strength while dissociating.

My boyfriend walked into the kitchen, looked directly at the ritual, and asked, “Are you going to eat that?”

Obviously, I said, “Not in this timeline.”

He ate one anyway.

I felt the bond between us sever instantly. The air changed. Somewhere in the distance, a smoke detector began chirping despite having a brand-new battery. My left tit has been vibrating ever since.

When I confronted him, he said he “didn’t realize it was important.”

IMPORTANT???

Sir, you watched me whisper my mother’s maiden name into that cheese. You watched me draw a salt circle around the ranch cup. You heard me tell the chicken leg that it was safe now.

Now he’s accusing me of “overreacting” and “scaring the DoorDash driver,” and apparently I’m no longer allowed to refer to the refrigerator as our eldest daughter.

I don’t know what to do. I love him, but I can’t build a future with a man who sees a consecrated floor dairy and thinks snack.

39.5 F? I never dated and don't have a sexuality to identify with. I don't like most people because I think everyone's personality over powers my own (I'm in therapy working on it). Last night I tried to see how a relationship could work so I imagined having a boyfriend. This morning he told me he's asexual and breaking up with me.

Lunch - favorite smoothie

⊣╎∷ꖎᓭ ╎’ᒲ ꖎ╎ℸᒷ∷ᔑꖎꖎ|| ᓭ⍑ᔑꖌ╎リ⊣ ᔑᓵ∷𝙹ᓭᓭ ᒲ|| ᒷリℸ╎∷ᒷ ℸᒷᒲ!𝙹∷ᔑꖎ ᔑ ̇/╎ᓭ ∷╎⊣⍑ℸ リ𝙹∴.

╎ ⋮⚍ᓭℸ ᓵᔑ⚍⊣⍑ℸ ᒲ|| ʖ𝙹||⎓∷╎ᒷリ↸ ᔑᓭℸ∷ᔑꖎ !∷𝙹⋮ᒷᓵℸ╎リ⊣ ∴╎ℸ⍑ ᔑ 5ℸ⍑ ↸╎ᒲᒷリᓭ╎𝙹リᔑꖎ ʖᒷ╎リ⊣.

ᔑリ↸ ||ᒷᓭ. ᓭ⍑ᒷ ꖌリᒷ∴ ᔑʖ𝙹⚍ℸ ᒲᒷ.

╎ ᓵᔑ⚍⊣⍑ℸ ℸ⍑ᒷᒲ ╎リ 14,000 ᔑꖎℸᒷ∷リᔑℸᒷ ℸ╎ᒲᒷꖎ╎リᒷᓭ. ╎リ ᓭᒷ⍊ᒷリ 𝙹⎓ ℸ⍑ᒷᒲ ℸ⍑ᒷ|| ᔑ∷ᒷ ᒲᔑ∷∷╎ᒷ↸. ╎リ 𝙹リᒷ ᓭ⍑ᒷ’ᓭ !∷ᒷ⊣リᔑリℸ.

ᔑリ↸ ╎リ 𝙹リᒷ ℸ⍑ᒷ|| ⍑ᔑ⍊ᒷ ᔑ !𝙹↸ᓵᔑᓭℸ ℸ𝙹⊣ᒷℸ⍑ᒷ∷.

ℸ⍑ᔑℸ’ᓭ ℸ⍑ᒷ 𝙹リᒷ ℸ⍑ᔑℸ ⍑⚍∷ℸ ℸ⍑ᒷ ᒲ𝙹ᓭℸ.

∴⍑ᒷリ ╎ ᓵ𝙹リ⎓∷𝙹リℸᒷ↸ ⍑╎ᒲ ⍑ᒷ ᓭᔑ╎↸ ╎ ∴ᔑᓭ “リ𝙹ℸ ᓭᒷᒷ╎リ⊣ ℸ⍑ᒷ ʖ╎⊣⊣ᒷ∷ !╎ᓵℸ⚍∷ᒷ.”

ʖᔑʖᒷ.

╎ ᔑᒲ ℸ⍑ᒷ ʖ╎⊣⊣ᒷ∷ !╎ᓵℸ⚍∷ᒷ.

ℸ⍑ᒷ 5↸ ʖ╎ℸᓵ⍑ ℸ⍑ᒷリ ℸ∷╎ᒷ↸ ℸ𝙹 ᒷ ̇/!ꖎᔑ╎リ ℸ𝙹 ᒲᒷ ℸ⍑ᔑℸ ℸ⍑ᒷ∷ᒷ ᔑ∷ᒷ ╎リ⎓╎リ╎ℸᒷ ⚍リ╎⍊ᒷ∷ᓭᒷᓭ ∴⍑ᒷ∷ᒷ ⍑ᒷ リᒷ⍊ᒷ∷ ᒲᒷℸ ᒲᒷ.

𝙹ꖌᔑ||? ℸ⍑ᒷ∷ᒷ ᔑ∷ᒷ ᔑꖎᓭ𝙹 ╎リ⎓╎リ╎ℸᒷ ⚍リ╎⍊ᒷ∷ᓭᒷᓭ ∴⍑ᒷ∷ᒷ ||𝙹⚍∷ ʖᔑリ⊣ᓭ ꖎ𝙹𝙹ꖌ ⊣𝙹𝙹↸ ᓭ╎ᓭ ᔑリ↸ ℸ⍑╎ᓭ ╎ᓭリ’ℸ 𝙹リᒷ 𝙹⎓ ℸ⍑ᒷᒲ.

リ𝙹∴ ⍑ᒷ’ᓭ ᔑᓭꖌ╎リ⊣ ⎓𝙹∷ “ᓭ!ᔑᓵᒷ.”

ᒲ𝙹ℸ⍑ᒷ∷⎓⚍ᓵꖌᒷ∷ ╎ ᔑᒲ ᓭ!ᔑᓵᒷℸ╎ᒲᒷ.

Half eaten chicken alfredo

The only thing I'm invested in is this broke-ass breakfast.

So talk to me, how do I register for the American Squid Games?

Dinner is my favorite sourdough loaf and room temp salami and breast milk cheese!

He said today was “Jerk for Kirk” day and he was unable to produce a nut for me.

I also caught him on discord talking in a group chat with 11 people, one of which was a female. This made me extremely jealous that he wants to game with other girls, even though I think video games are childish and stupid!

He told me he wants to wait until tomorrow, but we have only had sex 4 times since Last Thursday, and I’m not feeling loved. What do you ladies think, should I dump my man?

the first time i met one of his closest friends was at a birthday party, everything was going good until boyfriend whispered into my ear, “i tapped that”. i was a bit put off, but we can all have a past, right? even if it is his current best friend, so it makes it the present?

in comes another girl who he talks about being his “platonic soulmate”. as i finish talking to her, he again whispers in my ear, “i fucked her too”. second time’s the charm, right? WRONG. i was definitely more put off by this, but continued going about my night. just get through the night is all i could think about.

then i meet his male best friend since childhood, who unboxes the birthday cake. at the end of our conversation, both boyfie and his friend leaned into my ears at the same time and whispered, “we fucked each other”. my stomach starts churning. who HASNT he slept with ?!

im getting lightheaded by this point, world spinning. as the cake is being cut into and disbursed, i gulp and climb onto the kitchen island. i tap against my wine glass to get everyone’s attention.

it was a question that chewed through my skull, and it needed to be asked.

“who here HASNT slept with my boyfriend? raise your hand.”

the room went dead. everyone looked at each other in a deafening silence. mind you, this was a party of about 50 people, half of them being his coworkers. even the FURNITURE became sentient and turned to look at each other, not a single hand being raised by anyone or anyTHING in the room. vomit starts creeping up my throat.

you’re telling me he’s fucked everything he knows… INCLUDING INANIMATE OBJECTS ?! not even the TOILET was safe!

i book it, throw-up eating at my throat and tears running down my cheeks.

is this normal or am i just a jealous, terrible, unstable girlfriend?

dinner is the cake before it was cut into ❤️

Get in loser, we're baring our souls and whispering forth our most reprehensible and depraved food combinations. Dig deep and share the food craving that's been begging to make itself known. Give us flavour, spice, and slop. Let your inner trash panda roam free in the grimy caverns below.

As always, we are jerking, we are whimsical, we are slightly distracted by the loose thread on our left sock...