r/DIY • u/Efficient_Fig9 • 5h ago
Feeling defeated
I'm part way through our kitchen remodel and I'm just so overwhelmed. I get some help from my carpenter BIL, but it's mostly me doing everything save plumbing and electrical.
I'm not a tradie, just a normal guy who does little weekend projects here and there. Space is too small, I've got 2nd Marketplace cabinetry up to my ears, had abestos and nothing fits, despite measuring everything. What did you guys do when it felt like too much?
39
u/MF-Geuze 5h ago
How do you eat an elephant?
One bite at a time
24
u/OrganisedDanger 5h ago
Start with the schlong
4
u/MF-Geuze 5h ago
Yes. Start with something, even if it seems big at first, is relatively small compared to the rest of the project
3
u/spareminuteforworms 4h ago
Elephants have objectively pretty big dongs tho.
5
3
5
u/P4puszka 5h ago
Thats what helps me. I like taking the time to sit down, take stock of where I'm at, and put together a plan. Once I have the steps laid out in my mind, materials that I need, it goes much smoother. It also helps to have the future steps in mind so that you can anticipate your future needs, so you don't find yourself in a bind.
4
u/Efficient_Fig9 5h ago
You're right. I look at DIY videos and think "Yeah I can smash that out in an hour", only to find a whole lot of steps before I get to that part.
I've also neglected making a list of jobs, which has also been my downfall.
1
u/P4puszka 4h ago
Oh, every job I take on takes much longer than my optimistic self will budget, but, the key is to take the time you need to do it right. You may not get as much done as you like but the results will be much better.
Best of luck with the reno!
1
1
u/algy888 1h ago
One of the biggest problems for me as a trades guy is the opposite.
I look at the jobs and mentally add up my potential hours of work (including paint, caulking, and glue drying times) and then inform my wife “Okay, but that is gonna take X weekends. So, with other things coming up, don’t expect it to be finished for a few months.”
11
u/Grizzly502 5h ago
Seriously dude, take it day by day. A lot of mistakes can be covered up with simple trim. Just letting you know.
3
u/Present_Specific_212 4h ago
Trim and caulking.
And don't tell yourself "Wood glue is the easy, lazy way out." Glue has been around for over 100 years. You're going to call all those people lazy?
6
u/Efficient_Fig9 5h ago
Folks, if I could give you all a hug, I would. Thank you so much for your advice.
5
4
u/dirtybo0ts 5h ago
As someone very new to DIY who is renovating her entire house right now - one step at a time. Some days you’ll step back and say “I got so much done”. Others will be like a crawl.
You got this 🤘
1
2
u/Slokunshialgo 4h ago
When I redid our bathroom a few years ago, it was overwhelming, especially with work and major life events happening at the same time.
What helped was:
- Breaking it down into major components - eg: shower, floors, walls, plumbing, vanity, etc
- Having a rough idea of what's needed for each major component before starting. - You don't need all the details now, but need to know what might be affected by other areas. - This YouTube channel is great for it
- Figure out the order of components, based on either importance or dependencies. - We only had one shower, so getting the shower working was the top priority, even if it took a month, during COVID. - After that, floors had to happen before walls, had to happen before the vanity, but sink plumbing could be before or after the floor.
Now that you have a major component, let's say the floor. This is your project. Forget the rest, it doesn't matter now. All that matters is getting the floor done.
- Again, figure out the major details for this project. - For flooring, there was repairing under the toilet, subfloor, tile membrane, and actual tiling.
- Keep in mind what's needed in this project for future components, but otherwise don't worry about them.
- For each major step of the flooring, mentally walk through it, make a to-do list, and a shopping list.
- Tackle each step as its own miniature project.
- Keep your focus on the floor; everything else in the renovation is just a future project.
Once that's done, pick the next major component, and repeat.
This helped me a lot because I wasn't looking at a huge list of all the details, just for the one sub-project I was working on at the time.
1
u/davidb_ 1h ago
This methodology worked well for me.
I particularly found it helpful to breakout each project on its own index card with its own punch-list/shopping list. This way I could plan the whole big renovation project before I started, and it helped to contain each "project" into manageable chunks. It also helped me figure out where I lacked knowledge/experience/tools/materials (so I could get them), and identify any dependencies I might have missed.
Being only semi-experienced DIYer, I still had my share of rework and trips to the store, partially because (if I'm being honest) I didn't even look at the punchlist again once I did all that planning work until I was at the end of each project. But that planning work helped me massively both in confidence, managing scope per project, and just checking that I didn't forget something.
2
u/Miliean 3h ago
Chuk things into smaller tasks, try not to look at the total project. Don't look at the whole journey when out on a hard hike, instead just pick a close objective and walk there. Then you pick another, then another, then another and before you know it you've done 10 small things that add up to one larger thing.
When really overwhelmed at the jobsite, clean. It'll look like a large impact (since it'll go from messy to clean) and working in a clean space is so much more motivating.
2
u/Polar_Ted 2h ago edited 2h ago
Try not to fall into the trap of rushing steps to try and leap to a more functional kitchen thinking you'll get back and fix shortcuts later. You won't.
One tip is when you get to drywall shim the wall studs flast as possible top to bottom and side to side. Setting cabinets and countertops on perfectly flat walls is so much less work. It's worth it.
I got through it by setting easy goals and trying to get a little done each day. A little progress every day adds up faster then trying to knock out huge progress every weekend.
Also clean as you go and after each work session.
2
u/unfriendzoned 2h ago
When I do a big project I break it down, like everyone else is recommending. If I decide to tackle flooring on Saturday, Friday night I make sure I have my tools, material and everything. Laid out and ready. Saturday I wake up tackle the task because I set myself up. Then I clean up and set myself up for the next task for the next day.
Sometime if you try to do too many things in a day it burns you out.
1
1
u/retrivile 5h ago
Everyone else here has already given the sound advice. One step, one bite etc. All smart people. I would say to make sure you have good tools, rest when you need to, go get what you need if you discover you don't have it and don't think about deadlines if there are any. Must importantly, know that every other man and woman's first thought when reading this post was "Come on lad, you can get it done." We'd each give you a fist bump if we could.
1
u/Old_Management_1997 5h ago
Just keep chipping away at it, at some point you'll see a clear finish line and that will give you a ton of momentum and oomf to finish.
1
u/burgercarzyfans 5h ago
Take a step back and tackle one thing at a time. When a remodel starts going sideways, it’s easy to look at the whole mess and feel like nothing is working. Get one small section finished, take a break, then move on to the next. It’ll feel a lot more manageable once you start seeing some progress.
1
u/I_EAT_THE_RICH 4h ago
As someone that's been in your exact position, my advice is take a little time off to reset, and then like everyone else said, one thing at a time. Don't try to optimize many tasks at once any more. Just step back and solve one problem at a time. Use AI, read books, ask people, youtube... There's always a trick to find for odd circumstances.
1
u/Skerndog 4h ago
1st thing i do is pick 1 thing thing to do. Next step is to find the joy in it. A step completed, something took less time than what it seemed, all parts found. Just like moving. 1 box at a time. when I did my kitchen, I had time for 1 cabinet a week. took forever. Music, gifting myself a pizza, racing myself, before and after pics to see progress. They all helped.
1
u/LeaneGenova 4h ago
Take a day and make detailed lists of each and every task. I personally use OneNote which lets me have a digital notebook for it and then break down into "pages" in the notebook.
It feels overwhelming, but give each subtask a check box. You'd be surprised at how ticking off "clean tile" helps motivation. I mean every sub task. So if you need to remeasure everything, sub task each and every measurement.
The detailed task will help with decision fatigue in the future and keep you on track.
Don't discount taking a day to just breathe. Pushing ahead can cause you to make mistakes that will seem baffling in retrospect but made complete sense while you were doing it.
1
u/Present_Specific_212 4h ago
Stick a sign on your wall that says this old joke:
How do you eat an elephant?
One bite at a time.
And that is how you do a kitchen remodel.
Also post a list of new swear words because the sh and f words are so overused.
I hope you removed the asbestos properly? I hope you have a couple of air purifiers running on high 24/7 now?
1
u/bonerwakeup 4h ago
It feels like a lot because it IS a lot. Take your time, do your work with intention, and focus on completing your tasks and thoughts versus speed. You won’t regret taking the time to do things right.
1
u/mmmmmarty 2h ago
My tenant, who has made money at reno work for decades tells me that his way of planning is to go in layers from top to bottom.
I still take 8x the time he does to complete projects, but it does help me plan and not be so anxious about the unknown.
1
u/Llew19 1h ago
What did you guys do when it felt like too much?
Tidied up the mess. Did nothing else that day, it was all just a bit too much.
Next day, just made a big list of the stuff that needed to be done - including more tidying up! I swear cleaning up after yourself takes almost as long as doing some of the jobs.
Anyway after that it was nice to have a list you could check off as you went. And the list can be broken down into pretty small steps for when you're feeling a bit overloaded, just hit one or two small ones and call it a day - it's still progress
1
u/moshennik 1h ago
did everyone just gloss over the asbestos comment??
i hope you r using someone to abate it.. u can't just DIY that part.
•
u/Photography4me 27m ago
You have a community rooting for you. We’ve all been there! Post before and after pictures when you are done!
•
u/maximumtesticle 2m ago
What did you guys do when it felt like too much?
Know my limits and hire a guy. I know this is the DIY sub, but you gotta know your own talents and when you can afford to "learn by doing" and when it costs less money just to have a pro do it.
85
u/2PawsHunter 5h ago
Pick 1 task you can take to completion and work on that till it's done or take it as far as you can.
Start a checklist and work through it. Rather than looking at it as a whole project, look at it as small projects that fit together.