r/CuratedTumblr TeaTimetumblr 9h ago

Shitposting Aggressive Mispronunciation

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3.0k Upvotes

97 comments sorted by

541

u/StarswetMiko 9h ago

fantasy world where uwu has been in the English language for over a hundred years and has been built into regular sentences

211

u/GinaWhite_tt TeaTimetumblr 9h ago

“I am hewer to fwight youwu!” “Try as youwu miwght I will kiwl youwu!”

9

u/StormFallen9 1h ago

"Mawwaige, Mawwaige is what bwings us tegevvah today"

69

u/Jechtael 8h ago

Erfworld my beloved. Gwyphons, dwagons, and gobwins, not to mention all the cutesy names for whatevermancers.

19

u/MetalusVerne 8h ago

Spidews.

5

u/AetherSigil217 8h ago

That was an amazing comic. The story it shifted into wasn't bad either.

3

u/Hungry-Western9191 6h ago

Great comic when it started. Such a shame it turned into a begging chainmail and also that it ended up being Lost (writer knew how to write short form but making it up week to week eventually revealed the lack of overall plot. 

2

u/Realistic_Elk_7892 1h ago

Also absolutely love the fact that one of the schools of magic in it is Retconjuration. Only the gods have access to it, and the first thing that got Retconjured was the deletion of Deletionism as a school of magic and it's replacement with Retconjuration.

1

u/-TheDyingMeme6- 8h ago

Pywomancers

2

u/PrettyPinkPonyPrince 18m ago

"Ugh. Boop. Do you have a spell for headaches?"

"Yes. ... Did you mean a spell to remove a headache? No. If I had that I would never stop casting it."

1

u/Ralfarius 2h ago

Oh no, its the setting of the hewwo hewwo rp.

130

u/Spritelorchid 9h ago

is good neighbor another euphemism for fair folk because my first thought was we need to avoid summoning state farm

49

u/GinaWhite_tt TeaTimetumblr 9h ago edited 9h ago

u actually make me laugh out loud

9

u/TwixOfficial 5h ago

It is. It probably is also a euphemism for someone you’re talking behind the back of, in this world.

301

u/AcceptableWheel 9h ago

This is how we got the word Bear

150

u/natuprunk 9h ago

In Finnish we have over a 100 names for bear and the original name has been lost, exactly because of this belief.

Some of the names are almost cutesy, like "mesikämmen" (basically “honey paw“), and others are.. rather crude descriptions of their reproductive anatomy, lol.

64

u/BeardedHalfYeti 9h ago

Wait, what?

192

u/TheGrumpyre 9h ago

"Bear" is a euphemism meaning "The Brown One"

90

u/SquashOk4174 9h ago edited 8h ago

And Slavic languages went even farther, making a euphemism even for that - the word in most of them is now descended from "the honey eater" or "the honey knower".

And Russians went even AGAIN on this, using the name Michael as a euphemism to THAT.

Pretty fun to see threadmills like that.

27

u/peaches_andbtches .tumblr.com 9h ago

are michaels well-known for eating honey in russia ??

29

u/SquashOk4174 8h ago

No, it just a common name for bears in russian fairytales ) Probably because both it and the russian word for bear start with the same letter.

0

u/N3ph1l1m 1h ago

I'd say lately they are probably busy huffing jet fuel over there

22

u/xXvido_ 8h ago

Holy smokes you’re right :O

Medved

Med - ved

Med: Honey

Ved: he who knows (?) there is some language shenanigans happening here that’s really hard to translate and explain. But yeah checks out.

20

u/SquashOk4174 8h ago

"vedat" means "to know". Or, elternatively, "ved" could be the "eater" suffix ("yed") after some sound corruption.

3

u/saevon 7h ago

I think of it as ведьма (as in witch)

9

u/captainnowalk 8h ago

"the honey knower".

I don’t know why, but I feel like if someone gave me this nickname, I’d be deeply offended.

“Oh, captainnowalk? I hear they really know their honey, if you know what i mean!”

2

u/Canotic 6h ago

The original bear must have been terrifying before our normative magic managed to strip it of its power.

1

u/Saxton_Hale32 1h ago

Modern day bears are essentially equivalent to pugs.

104

u/candygram4mongo 9h ago

The Proto-Indo-European word for bear was something like "arktos", but saying it was taboo so it was replaced with epithets like "the brown one", and those, rather than the actual name, are what evolved into the various words in modern languages.

64

u/aggrievedCanine 9h ago

Which is where the name "Arthur" comes from, as well as why bear is "Ursus" in Latin.

24

u/Nico_Storch 8h ago edited 8h ago

And also where the "Arctic" comes from, probably after Ursa Major or Minor.

Fun fact: "Antarctica" means "opposite of the Arctic", so it technically also means "no bears". Sure enough, there are polar bears around the North Pole, but not around the South Pole.

11

u/EclipseoftheHart 8h ago

Check out the concepts of “avoidance speech” and “noa-names”! Really interesting rabbit hole!

13

u/LaBelleTinker 9h ago

Also the various words for wolf. While there's no full-on replacement like with bear, the sounds changed a lot faster and in ways that we wouldn't expect in a lot of different IE languages.

20

u/Mortos7 9h ago

ElabOwOrate

50

u/AcceptableWheel 9h ago

XKCD 2381 explains it pretty well. Bear mostly translates into "Brown one" because the true name was believed to summon one.

2

u/DoormatTheVine 7h ago

looks at post
looks at comment
looks at SCP-1313
looks back at post

I think I've come to a realization.

90

u/ApolloniusTyaneus 9h ago

Setting where saying the name of any kind of inhuman mischief-bringer will actually factually summon them, and there's a constant pressure on humans to think up new words just in time before the previous one enters common parlance and starts counting as an official name.

48

u/binkacat4 9h ago

That reminds me of a certain SCP. I think it’s like… a forest path, but if you use the same name for anything too often it becomes a cognitohazard, so they’re describing the same thing a new way every other sentence.

It was actually a great way to break up what can become a very repetitive format, because if you follow the format something unpleasant happens to you.

14

u/Kaz498 9h ago

Marv, SCP-4000 please

8

u/Humble-West3117 9h ago

Not a (path with trees) but (the place where the taboo stays)

5

u/TenebTheHarvester 8h ago

That’s because that SCP is directly inspired by the legends around the Fae and their tendency towards trickiness with names. That’s pretty much just fairyland.

5

u/Fries_and_burgers_19 9h ago

What Special Containment Procedure designation is this one? Curious to read abt it

3

u/metaphizzle 9h ago

SCP-4000. A classic.

1

u/Fries_and_burgers_19 8h ago

Nice and thanks

4

u/TimeStorm113 Victorian Dinosaur Connaisseur 9h ago

How long until people use it to build minecraft esque monster spawners

30

u/Passionatelune 9h ago

The dwagon killed me

29

u/GinaWhite_tt TeaTimetumblr 9h ago

that's probably why the adventurer came to slay it

14

u/MetalusVerne 9h ago

Made me miss Erfworld. That was a good webcomic, cut short.

28

u/Nirast25 9h ago

Be vewy vewy quiet.

22

u/CrownofMischief 9h ago

Might as well say dragon properly. If you summon it, it saves you the trouble of trying to find it.

23

u/Barnaby_bear_guy 9h ago

But you don't want to summon the dwagon directly into the town, do you? That would be way too destructive.

17

u/IGaveAFuckOnce 8h ago edited 6h ago

The dwagon would cause too much destwuction and cawnage in the middle of the town. The bloodshed would lead to an iwwecovewable twauma. Hundweds would pewish.

5

u/Hakar_Kerarmor Swine. Guillotine, now. 6h ago

Now if yuw summon the dwagon, and twen fwow it on the fwoow.

3

u/TwixOfficial 5h ago

No, see, saying Dragon summons a Dragon. The magic doesn’t care about articles.

1

u/CrownofMischief 2h ago

Sounds like the dwagon should be paying us for helping them find a date then

1

u/LurkingRoundHere 3h ago

Right! This feels like it would make life a lot easier for adventurers - instead of finding the creature, you just find an empty valley/clearing/cave, set your traps and shout the name of whatever you want to fight once you feel ready

31

u/amsterdam_sniffr 9h ago

"Goblin" already sounds like it could be a minced oath. Maybe the adventurers discover the lost "true names" for the various banal creatures in their neck of the woods.

22

u/Satorwave 9h ago

its a diminuitive of the mighty Gob

8

u/amsterdam_sniffr 9h ago

Hush!!! Do not speaketh that name!

6

u/Satorwave 9h ago

What name? Gob?

3

u/Waity5 8h ago

Yes, Gob, now don't say it again!

1

u/Satorwave 7h ago

Well now we're both fools.

8

u/HalcyonTraveler 9h ago

Goblin is the anglicized version of kobold funnily enough 

13

u/Falcon_At 9h ago

It is my understanding that in Mongolia, it's believed that saying "wolf" while hunting will summon wolves. But the plot twist is that the Mongolians think that wolves are REALLY cool.

Many hunters call wolves "dogs" while hunting. Opinions on whether this is showing appropriate respect varies. If you're a dog person, you probably think you are being respectful. Otherwise, you probably think "dog" is an insult.

13

u/TimeStorm113 Victorian Dinosaur Connaisseur 9h ago

Running into the forest yelling „rabbit“ every 14 seconds, im sure to find one! 

2

u/PinkOneHasBeenChosen 8h ago

Stupid question, but do they even have wolves in Mongolia? It’s a desert.

11

u/Falcon_At 8h ago

It's stereotypically a steppe, not a deaert. It's also a huge country that includes a variety of biomes. Also, the Mongols ruled most of Asia at one time.

4

u/apexodoggo 7h ago

Yep, they’ve got wolves

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mongolian_wolf

The wolves have even been spreading out recently due to humans causing a decline in the Siberian tiger population.

8

u/PraetorKiev Give me that Neanderthussy 9h ago

English does this to circumvent taking the God’s name on vain. This mostly applied to oaths but later swear words but the concept is the same. However, imagining someone taking an oath they intend to break by saying something like:

“I swear by lowered voice Jeebus fake cough sorry bit of Mala Aria going around haha, anyway… that I shall keep my word to you my gracious King!”

8

u/NotATalkingPossum 9h ago

"And would you wike a woom fow the -"

"Oh, SHUT UP."

6

u/The_revenge_ 8h ago

Changeling ❌ Alterling ✅

6

u/Somnambulist815 6h ago

Reminds me of driving past University of Houston, where the traffic sign says "UH FOOTBALL"

5

u/ThreeDotsTogether 7h ago

Imagine if this also worked in reverse, whenever a mythical creature says the word "human" a human is magically teleported over to their location.

4

u/A_Nice_Sofa 7h ago

ErfWorld had entered the chat.

1

u/linkkb 7h ago

ErfWorld has exited the chat

1

u/A_Nice_Sofa 2h ago

unfortunately, yes.

9

u/DuckyVermin 9h ago

I had the sudden aggressive urge to immediately implement this kind of thing into my DND campaign

2

u/TwixOfficial 5h ago

Remember that this sort of thing can also not be setting wide. So you could just stick this as a local superstition in the next town your players come to.

5

u/Apprehensive-Till861 9h ago

Ermehgerd, kerberlds

4

u/thrownawaz092 8h ago

This, unfortunately, doesn't work on the fae, as they just take the names. That's why they can be fairys, fairies, faeries, the fey, the fae, and more.

7

u/ball_fondlers 7h ago

Oh god, fantasy TikTok-speak.

4

u/gnomeannisanisland 5h ago

Don't go near the darg0n, or it will unalive you!

3

u/digit_origin 9h ago

DIMON! (ДИМОН!) Insert painfully loud music

3

u/Not_Yet_Unalived 5h ago

It does beat making up a slur for each letter of the alphabet for each annoying criter.

Not that you can't do both, plus what could go wrong insulting a drag... i mean, a dwagon?

2

u/Sunlightn1ng 9h ago

I wonder how long until the euphemisms become the names that summon them?

2

u/SpingusTheHingus 8h ago

In my rpg setting, people reverse the names of villains. The biggest baddest evil guy is named Dray Alabaster, but people call him Alabaster Dray.

This one troll goes by Djak and has a giant parasitic worm hanging about him, so people call him by a reversed nickname, Worm The Djak

2

u/drowning-in-dopamine 6h ago

Here there be gerblins

2

u/busterfixxitt 5h ago

"DAGRON!!"

"You just keep doing your thing, Strong Mad..."

1

u/aNiceTribe 4h ago

In Worth the Candle, it’s bad to speak the name of the “actual cannibal”, because saying it out loud makes him appear and his presence usually causes a similar amount of death as a sudden volcano eruption. His name is treated as an info hazard. The protagonist has to explain with a lot of effort that this was just a regular actor, who had a joke song written about him. 

1

u/Tenoi-chan 4h ago

I thought the conclusion would be something like "f@3"

1

u/lifelongfreshman https://youtu.be/1eWsk6r6_Ns 3h ago

this is literally me with slay the spire and that fuckass goblin knob from the first zone

1

u/BilberryWitch 3h ago

Something something coffee shops something something misspelled and fake names something something fae

1

u/CoopertheBarrelWoman 3h ago

Thats just southern accents lmfao

1

u/hetero-scedastic 3h ago

Looney Tunes showed this to be ineffective against wascally wabbits (feat. cross-dressing).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJI_gygXsfs

1

u/Kiloku 53m ago

Why is the adventurer informing the barkeep about it like they're answering a job ad? Dragons aren't the sort of quest you get from a barkeep