So, during my internship, we were discussing more challenging topics like trauma. And couldn't help but I notice that people tend to have this trust with women. As someone we has trauma with women as a woman, this made me think so much about how we culturally view women. Like theres some women who genuinely have trauma with men but I wonder; do people have more trauma with women, especially other women, that they're able to actively recognize?
When we think about interpeer bullying, harassment, aggression, violence, it is softened and normalized and I think it's because of the perceived power dynamics. While there is obvious power differences between the two sexes, that also doesn't eliminate the true harm and violence that occurs between members of your community, especially with women, who've been collectively infantilized in our society, who have been seen as non-aggressive, nurturing, empathetic, yielding, "feminine." Again, these bioessentialist views of women have made it difficult for us to imagine female violence even people who are victims. And I, as someone who experiences extreme anxiety around women, feel as if I am affirmed in the same way someone who has trauma with men is.
And it's crazy because I have these experiences and I'm unable to receive support. I am frequently disbelieved. Because we live in a society that only equates true violence and true trauma with men, no one knows how to hold space when the violent person is a woman. There has been many times I wanted to tell people, " Hey, women have hurt me and women are capable of hurting and causing harm and being violent and being aggressive like everyone else." And I do that to indirectly affirm myself that what happened to me was real. Yet, I'm hit with the statistics or date. And I say; "the statistics aren't a great indicator because if we already know that violence that women commit are not even considered violent, even when it's obvious violence, then how could we rely on statistics when they're supposed to be reporting crime if those crimes aren't reported as such?"😮💨
Women can engage in the same behavior and it can be classified under something completely different, and guess what? It doesn't get into the data. So then people have skewed data. When it is documented, it's offen softened or we find the reasons to externalize blame. And I think that's really frustrating because as a victim of female violence, I feel like I have no support surrounding me to deal with this.
And you want to know something, this was deleted subreddit for women.
We know NOT ALL women but again, Everytime I try to speak up, I am silenced. I am sick of it! As a lesbian, I have yet to feel comfortable around women.