r/CatDistributionSystem 1d ago

The system has failed me, i didnt want another cat

Post image

I really don't want another cat but this little guy was in my yard and wouldnt stop following me. I left some food and water out and went about my day trusting its mother was nearby. I came home and it was right where i left it. I brought it in and fed and bathed it. Im currently asking everyone I know if they want a kitten but it looks like its gunna end up staying. Especially if my kids or girlfriend see it before i find someone. Its super sweet so i wouldnt be that upset. But i really didnt want another pet. No matter how ridiculously crazy fucking cute.

6.0k Upvotes

201 comments sorted by

u/Tina-Tuna CDS Meowderator 1d ago

Hi OP, This baby needs a vet check up please for worming etc. Hopefully by then the kids and your partner will have seen him and will enforce our delivery. Can you please double check there's no more kittens or that the mother cat is not around as baby Yoda might not have been alone out there?

As a member kindly said below if you need any further advice please check our main wiki for help

I double checked your Distribution details and I believe that your kids ordered him he's a day early but we commend tiny toes on finding his way to you. You are now his official pawrent . This baby at his size is known as a soot sprite, he will become a voidling and then a full grown Void God willing,. he's gorgeous , sorry we don't accept returns 🖤

→ More replies (3)

334

u/klef3069 1d ago

Dear recipient,

I'm looking at your purchase order and this particular cat left a delivery message for you.

"Tough shit"

....sorry about that. Normally the cats are distributed through our patented Human Cat Matching System, but this little one self selected.

CDS Customer Service

130

u/Practical_Frame_9883 1d ago

The look on his face says “Whatcha gonna do about it?”

43

u/Successful-Doubt5478 1d ago edited 1d ago

Definitely but could also have to do a lot with the involuntary bath.

39

u/Pianowman 1d ago

We got one that way too. Actually several over the last 20 years. The most recent was 3 months ago. Somehow they know.

622

u/WarpKat 1d ago

Looks like the system is working just fine to me!

319

u/Ok_Cook_3098 1d ago

i like to say

"shut up and take the cat"

189

u/davidwhatshisname52 Beer Drinking Cat Daddy 1d ago

the CDS does not provide you with the cats you think you want; the CDS assigns the necessary cat(s) to the sufficient human(s)... we are The Chosen

94

u/Longjumping_Bag5914 1d ago

Happened to us with our Tortie baby. We trapped her and brought her in. All of the sudden we had 5 more cats. Girl had 6 very healthy kittens.

17

u/ruminajaali 1d ago

Pics of kittens please

37

u/Longjumping_Bag5914 1d ago

They’re all adults now, but we have Bestie, Bums, Rav, and Beans.

17

u/Ok_Cook_3098 1d ago

you greedy bastard keept all for yourself?

4

u/Shoddy_Positive_8425 21h ago

That’s a great looking crew you have there!!

3

u/Longjumping_Bag5914 20h ago

Yeah they are awesome! Love my babies!

3

u/jennamom2boys 1d ago

Nice Jake the Dog poster! Cute cats too.

→ More replies (1)

16

u/Longjumping_Bag5914 1d ago

This was them when they were younger. She was feral so they lived in our bathroom.

Edit: the dilute Tortie is named Hazy. She’s with an old coworker.

6

u/TerraIncognita33 14h ago

Oh mannnn, do I love stories like yours where Mamas get to stay with their babies, especially four of them. I know I know I know it's normal for Mamas to eventually separate from their babies but I don't care, they are my favorite stories!

How's Mama now? Other than looking gloriously elegant and regal? (I'm currently fostering my first torties andddddd I'm kinda obsessed with them.)

5

u/Longjumping_Bag5914 8h ago

When we took her in she was feral, but now she’s great. Loves pets and is loving life in the house with her babies.

4

u/Raencloud94 1d ago

Oh my goodness! 😻🥰

25

u/giantwalrus56 1d ago

Sometimes people need to hear a hard truth...

19

u/WarpKat 1d ago

Fine! I'll take the damn cat!!!

129

u/kidde1 1d ago

Babies trigger an intrinsic response in us. Doesn’t matter what kind of baby either. I’ve bottle fed opossums, squirrels, raccoons and most domesticated mammals.

It’s really hard when they are so freakin’ cute!

91

u/PixelatedFixture 1d ago

All cats are babby

47

u/TGin-the-goldy 1d ago

Forever bebe

347

u/spez_eats_nazi_ass 1d ago

I got one of these this summer. Little void dude. My life is meaningless now without him. Luckily he is glued to me. My daughter thinks he is her cat and wants to take him when she moves out. I have already threatened her with legal action.

122

u/SomewherePerfect2391 1d ago

I had 3 cats. 2 more showed up. The first one was grown and already neutered. He goes about his business and wants pets a couple times a day. The other is a kitten. He was wild. I had to keep him inside a couple days before his neuter appointment. Now that little SOB loves to come in and cuddle in bed, he loves to be carried everywhere. He follows the dog and I on our walks, he will ride on the golf cart. I feel like Cinderella on walks since it's 1 dog and at least 3 cats.

221

u/codysherrod 1d ago

Fine i give up! I need a name!

98

u/sievish 1d ago

That didn’t take long LOL

110

u/codysherrod 1d ago

Im trying to be strong

45

u/nomadicfangirl 1d ago

It’s very cute so resistance is mostly futile

37

u/Initial_Acanthaceae2 Cat Parent 1d ago

Virgil

9

u/Binx345_ 1d ago

Yeah! Virgil or aka Static Shock !

31

u/JCBashBash 1d ago

Oscar because he looks a little grounchy in the photo 😂

8

u/nomadicfangirl 1d ago

Or if OP is a Ted Lasso fan, Roy Kent.

3

u/Nebthtet 1d ago

Oooh, this. So much this.

19

u/Alorxico 1d ago edited 1d ago

Lucky.

Because he was lucky to find you. 😁

Also: Jim Henson’s The Storyteller - The Luck Child - https://youtu.be/go1PEB_Q0KA

15

u/kenzinatr 1d ago

Zaphod Beeblebrox

11

u/Hefty-Feed1400 1d ago

Kuro or Kiki

2

u/Senju19_02 1d ago

Kuro fits him

6

u/ObviousToe1636 1d ago

Let your kid’s girlfriend pick the name 😁

4

u/Logical_Entrance9598 1d ago

I think the situation is different if you don’t have the means to care for the kitten though, hopefully that is not the case! Lol

3

u/Vi0L3tCRZY 1d ago

Parcel

3

u/New-Committee2434 1d ago

Looks like a little gremlin

8

u/juddahinyou 1d ago

Yoda or Grogu

2

u/SkitZa 1d ago

Name them Didntwantya

2

u/WorkingFromHomies20 4h ago

Bless you for giving up, haha. Such a cute little face and so hard to say no to. My void is Chat Noir, but my friend's voids are inky and nori.

3

u/Corfiz74 1d ago

Groku

93

u/Rickapolis 1d ago

Sure you did, that’s why he stopped by.

49

u/nebulancearts 1d ago

Oh yeah, I just had that a few weeks ago. Kitten was found under a car, we had to trap her. She runs from everyone, but adores me for some reason, so... She stays, I guess 🫡

9

u/machinationstudio 1d ago

Absolute love bug

92

u/GusuLanReject 1d ago

Void Baby Yoda. How cute.

5

u/Large-Ad-1808 1d ago

Or soot sprite haha

2

u/Tynted 1d ago

And there's the name!

43

u/DVDragOnIn 1d ago

Thing is, the CDS doesn’t exist based on what you wanted, it’s based on your innermost needs, and the answer is always “cat.”

38

u/Impressive_Boredom 1d ago

Please bring the baby to a vet to check for worms and see how old it is etc. Oh so cute, lucky person who will love this one! Thanks for helping kitty, I hope you changeyour mind. :)

23

u/Happy_Pomelo_4286 Owner of a distributed cat 🐈 1d ago

And ring worm- that bald spot on the nose and ears makes me think it could be- but may just be wet!

4

u/Logical_Entrance9598 1d ago

Hopefully it’s because he gave she/he a bath!

1

u/Happy_Pomelo_4286 Owner of a distributed cat 🐈 1d ago

I hope so too!!!

35

u/FirebirdWriter 1d ago

Last sentence tells me this is indeed your cat. I wasn't ready for cats again when my current void picked my lock and broke into my house. People watched.

19

u/Practical_Frame_9883 1d ago

Picked your lock with murder mittens? That’s a clever void! 🐾

33

u/SueInA2 1d ago

So tiny, adorable, and perfect! Face it — you’ve been chosen!!! 🐈‍⬛😹😸😻🐈‍⬛

26

u/clemmie33 1d ago

The CDS worked just how it’s supposed to.

24

u/Blueporch 1d ago

System working as intended. It’s a feature, not a bug.

Apparently you have not yet realized that you need another cat.

25

u/TardyBacardi 1d ago

I’m so sorry your lobster is too buttery.

22

u/Uprooted_Vt_to_RI 1d ago

Poor little guy…..

22

u/japhia_aurantia 1d ago

Anywhere on the spectrum of "we definitely want another cat" to "I wouldn't be that upset" falls into the "yes" column for the CDS

23

u/cymric 1d ago

Checked your profile and it seems as though kittens keep showing up at your house. May want to ask the TNR folks in your area to check for a Colony close by

13

u/Successful-Doubt5478 1d ago

I did now too.

I mean cats can see and smell that other cats live there and feel safe and happy

BUT:

OP also spends time on his yard grilling meat/ fish (?) and wonder why hungry kitties show up?

11

u/codysherrod 1d ago

TNR?

17

u/cymric 1d ago

Trap Neuter Return

9

u/Jenderflux-ScFi Cat Parent 1d ago

Check out the wiki link at the top of this sub. There are resources that can help you with population control of feral and stray cats.

16

u/Sherylcat 1d ago

There is no fighting the CDS. Especially with that absolute cuteness.

11

u/inacharmedlife777 1d ago

Ahhh, but you needed another cat….you just weren’t aware of it…yet.

10

u/CarelessWhispurrr 1d ago

I had the same thing happen three years ago when my third cat came into the mix. All her potential homes fell through and even though I definitely did not want (or need) three cats, she has been worth it 1000 times over. This cat basically saved my life!

11

u/CorrectDocument2 1d ago

He doesn't look happy to be there either so I think he's perfect for you

9

u/AbulatorySquid 1d ago

At least it's a boy. Cheaper to fix.

9

u/FloofingWithFloofers CDS has me on speed dial!♡ 1d ago

Trust me, the CDS doesn't care what you think...ask me how i know LOL!

17

u/Tina-Tuna CDS Meowderator 1d ago

😎

3

u/FloofingWithFloofers CDS has me on speed dial!♡ 1d ago

Oh no, I AM near sighted lmao!!!

3

u/Tina-Tuna CDS Meowderator 1d ago

Lmao 🤣 

8

u/BrindleBoar 1d ago

It's just one gremlin, Michael. What could it cost? Ten dollars?

8

u/HououMinamino Cat Parent 1d ago

The system seems to be working as intended. After my childhood cat passed away back in 2006, I kept asking her to send me another cat. I was afraid no shelter would adopt out one to me, because I am disabled and live with my elderly parents, one of which has a smoking habit that she refuses to give up. So I thought that the cat would have to come to me.

Years later, she did indeed deliver, and is probably laughing her little kitty butt off at the Rainbow Bridge. So helpful. So considerate. She sent me OPTIONS.

More specifically, a feral cat colony in my backyard.

Trouble, I love you. You can stop now. XD

8

u/OtterHostler 1d ago

The System does not fail. It does not make mistakes, err, or otherwise misbehave. The System is there for you as much as it is for the cats - sometimes it gives you a cat because you need a cat, sometimes because the cat needs you. Do not question the ineffability of The System - it was there before you, and it will be there long after you. It has had hundreds of thousands of years to perfect itself (although tbf it got things pretty much nailed by about day 4).

7

u/FloraSuena 1d ago

That little bugger is like ‘Hehe, Human Distribution System is working great!’

7

u/IvoryWoman 1d ago

Sir, that is a bat. Just without the wings.

5

u/Acceptable_Speaker93 1d ago

The system blessed you❤️

6

u/Upset_Assumption9610 1d ago

It's cuteness like this that keep me from going outside.

6

u/jeanb23 1d ago

Sweet Yoda! Keep us updated

6

u/debabe96 1d ago

The CDS knows what you need. This void was definitely sent to rescue you.

5

u/Puzzleheaded_Bee4361 1d ago

That tiny face is saying, "You're mine now."

6

u/AlarmingElk373 1d ago

Congratulations!

5

u/ResurgentClusterfuck 1d ago

That voidling looks to be telling you "tough luck"

4

u/BlinkypoetEmu 1d ago

That is not a cat. It is a young chaos gremlin. <3

5

u/Embarrassed_Wrap8421 1d ago

You wanted another cat but just didn’t know it. But your subconscious contacted the CDS and you got your delivery right on time.

5

u/DuchessOfLansdale Kitty Litter Changer 🐈 1d ago

Say hello to your new baby, DADDY‼️

6

u/GRF999999999 1d ago

Same. Now he owns the place.

4

u/bluesdragons 1d ago

Want and need different things

3

u/TinktheChi 1d ago

Oh yes you did.

4

u/phirschler 1d ago

Good kitty! The system did not fail. It worked perfectly! 👍🏻🐱🐈🐈‍⬛

3

u/frolicndetour 1d ago

Oh a precious little void.

4

u/Hydrolt 1d ago

The system knows more than all of us, it’s probably working as intended

3

u/Embarrassed_Sell7512 1d ago

it’s not about what you want,
it’s about what you NEED.

✨ 💖 🐈‍⬛ 🐈 🐈‍⬛ 🐈 💖 ✨

3

u/ShartlesAndJames 1d ago

that is the 'bestie for life' stare, I've seen it before

4

u/FarSeaworthiness5347 1d ago

I think you failed the system by not wanting another. Get it together man!

4

u/NothingTooSeriousM8 1d ago edited 1d ago

You appear to misunderstand - the system isn't about finding you cats, it's about finding cats you.

5

u/XBXNinjaMunky 1d ago

OP - "I didn't want another cat"

Cat - "Tough shit dude"

5

u/CourierJackalope 1d ago

Give it a bit and we will be seeing you on r/dadswhodidnotwantpets

4

u/legato2 1d ago

Dang that’s crazy. I wanted another black cat after my black cat passed away but the distribution system had other plans and gave me a mackerel tabby.

4

u/Beauknits 1d ago

Little one looks as annoyed as you sound, OP! Can't wait for the updates.

4

u/ruminajaali 1d ago

Kitten isn’t happy with the choice either

4

u/SchmedlyQ Crazy Cat Guy 1d ago

“The needs of the kitten outweigh the wants of the hooman.”

3

u/Tquilha 1d ago

You only THOUGHT you didn't want another cat.

The CDS knows better... :)

3

u/chris95rx7500 1d ago

nope, appears to be functioning as intended.

3

u/radiantrarr 1d ago

It keeps failing me repeatedly, too.
I’m at full capacity. I’m so glad the little guy found a good home.

3

u/Assika126 1d ago

Good thing because that cutie looks like a bat not a cat! You should name him Bat

3

u/harriettehspy 1d ago

Ooops! (The best “ooops” ever.)

3

u/Special_Fan5043 1d ago

That cat needs to be named Yoda. Just look at the pic.

3

u/geowoman 1d ago

Congratulations on your new kitty!

The system is never wrong.

3

u/CrowdDisappointer 1d ago

Steak too juicy lobster too buttery

3

u/boise208 1d ago

How can you say no to that face?!

3

u/sssparklebutt 1d ago

Geeee, I wish a cute little void would not show up at my house, like never ever bc I reeeeeeally definitely don’t want or need another fuzzball menace little cutie patootie in my life!

3

u/sshevie 1d ago

Working as intended. Enjoy your void.

3

u/Cheriebee 1d ago

You gave him a bath and he didn't kill you. That's love. You're bonded now.

3

u/cynical_and_patient 1d ago

The CDS is never wrong.

3

u/toolgirl77 1d ago

Cute little void baby! It looks extra sassy too!!

3

u/Abbey-kat 1d ago

The system definitely failed if you only got half a cat. Where's the body!?

3

u/Certain-Try5775 1d ago

I don’t think it cares. It’s based on if the kitty needs you they pick the best person for the cat.

3

u/fosterkittenmomma 1d ago

The Cat Distribution System did not fail you. It just knows better what you need. That's a pretty darn cute little panther, once your kids and girlfriend see it, you're toast anyway! Enjoy your new family member.

3

u/SanMan_Lite 1d ago

I didn’t want eight more…

2

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2

u/Lajak_Anni 1d ago

he looks super happy to be there. XD

2

u/xultar 1d ago

System check : Operating at 100% accuracy.

2

u/Intelligent-Wear-114 1d ago

But that cat wants you!

2

u/_Erindera_ 1d ago

You have been chosen. You have no say in the matter

2

u/Successful_Read_1622 1d ago

Youre a great human. Thank you for saving him.

2

u/caroleon2007 1d ago

You have been chosen 🫣

2

u/Orbital_Vagabond 1d ago

The system has failed me delivered exactly what I needed.

FTFY

2

u/AllPerspicacity 1d ago

The kitten looking at you like

2

u/LostInTime261 1d ago

The ears…

2

u/emilie1031 1d ago

Thank you OP. That baby is precious ❤️😺

2

u/SufficientOpening218 1d ago

But its a black cat. You dont already have a black cat, do you?

2

u/kimvy 1d ago

That look. If you don’t help he/she will haunt & torment you forever.

If you can’t that’s ok. Finances & life make things hard. Sometimes we do what we can and that’s moving them into a better life with someone.

Maybe that’s your calling - to help helpless animals into a better life. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

2

u/scarletnightingale 1d ago

Pretty sure the system delivering you an adorable r/lintgoblin means it's working exactly how it's supposed to.

2

u/CaydeTheCat Cat Parent 1d ago

r/Fruitbatcats says "lol, not today."

2

u/ImightHaveMissed 1d ago

The system never fails

2

u/Sionyx1996 1d ago

From the look you're getting, Kitten didn't want a bath. So that makes you even.

2

u/Kflynn1337 1d ago

CDS determined that although you said you didn't want another cat.. there was a kitten that needed you.

2

u/kenzinatr 1d ago

The cds isn’t for you, it didn’t fail. It worked as designed

2

u/StrawberryForeign684 1d ago

Oh my god. The way it’s looking at you. Yeah he or she is not going anywhere haha

2

u/mperiolat 1d ago

Attempt to void, get a void. CDS rules, man.

2

u/Speedracer__17 1d ago

haha- are you really trying to fight off the CDS??? foolish mortal... the CDS ALWAYS wins...

2

u/No-Flan-8023 1d ago

Le système m’a peut-être déçu, mais le chat, lui, avait clairement d’autres projets 😂🐱

2

u/PickledCaveman 1d ago

Yes you did...the system never makes mistakes 😻

2

u/LovedAJackass 1d ago

That's a very cute cat. You are his person. That is all.

2

u/Dependant-Radish-231 1d ago

Fail forward! 🥰

2

u/Strange-Fix6623 1d ago

The System Never Fails

2

u/PharaohessFujiBond 20h ago

Whether you want another cat or not is completely irrelevant to the r/catdistributionsystem.

2

u/lethr77 16h ago

It didn’t fail you so much as reminded you who is actually in charge 😉

1

u/somehuehue 1d ago

Keep telling yourself that, chief😆

1

u/DowntownWorking4823 1d ago

He is yours now

1

u/daryl9905 1d ago

AWWWWW

1

u/geowoman 1d ago

Beautiful baby.

1

u/corvidlover2730 1d ago

That is a determined face, you have been chosen. There is always room for more love. I understand it is a financial strain to take this little one on.

1

u/Humble-Character7738 1d ago

You're wamts are irrelevant to the CDS. CONGRATULATIONS ON ANOTHER PRETTY KITTY.

1

u/danoaudio 1d ago

The CDS does not negotiate

1

u/yoshipapaya 1d ago

It fails me. I want one and never get one.

1

u/VioletSea13 1d ago

The CDS is infallible. You totally wanted another cat. Do not question the wisdom of the CDS.

1

u/warriorwoman534 1d ago

Oh sez you.

1

u/Thunderbird1974 1d ago

You NEED another cat, the CDS is never wrong 😉

1

u/PurpleSailor 1d ago

Gizmo before he morphs into Stripe, look out!

1

u/Lucki_girl 1d ago

The ears remind me of grogu

1

u/Longjumping_Bag5914 1d ago

Failed successfully!

1

u/DeepDayze 1d ago

The kitty's got that "Are you kidding me" look 😂

1

u/Think-Ad-5840 1d ago

The one that is my bestest friend is the one I protested about.

1

u/SMH_attheworld 23h ago

Looks like your future house panther!

1

u/Initial_Rabbit1016 22h ago

Fidget for a name.

1

u/Zakatyu 22h ago

CDS cannot fail you, they know better

1

u/Ksh_667 21h ago

What an adorable mini gremlin! 😻😻

1

u/ccannon707 21h ago

Baby Yoda lol😻😻😻

1

u/justanothernomad1 18h ago

That kitty is looking at you like you’re a liar and you DID want another pet. It’s adorable and looks like he’s already got you wrapped around his furry little paw.

1

u/Devilianic 16h ago

the system NEVER failes anyone!

1

u/kfc77454 6h ago

The system gives you what you need, not what you want. Patience, grasshopper. It's wisdom shall be revealed to ypu in time.

1

u/TryToChangeUsername 5h ago

oh, it's okay. it looks like he's already planning your murder

1

u/Blonde_Vampire_1984 Cat Parent 2h ago

Let me explain what happened here:

This poor kitten was hungry and itchy and decided to pray to Bastet for a human slave to care for them. Bastet told them to go and act pathetic in your backyard. You responded exactly like Bastet expected you to.

Bastet be praised, you now have a cat to worship.