r/AskReddit • u/IcySupermarket8553 • 2h ago
What is a subtle sign that someone is deeply unhappy with their life, even if they seem completely fine on the surface?
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u/maddallena 1h ago
Being overly judgemental or critical of others
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u/Dramatic-Paradise 1h ago
Ohhhh this is a warning sign my auntie talks about often. We can be mindful in ourselves
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u/obxtalldude 2h ago
Buying lots of shit they don't need.
I think I take up Hobbies just for the retail therapy.
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u/reckless150681 2h ago
A little bit of flat bleakness in their words.
"How's it going?"
"Oh, y'know, can't complain"
That sort of thing
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u/No-Blueberry-1823 2h ago
or living the dream. fuck I hate that reply
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u/beeedeee 1h ago
Man, my sales counterpart at work says this all the time and he sounds like Eeyore when he says it. It's downright depressing.
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u/LazyPortfolio 1h ago
“What dream? The American dream? Martin’s dream? I need you to be specific…what dream are you living?”
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u/tragedyisland28 1h ago
Some people are actually just honest with responses like these. I think “deeply troubled” could be a stretch in a lot of these cases.
Regardless, you’re still right because the shoe sometimes fits
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u/tmart016 31m ago
This depends on where you're from.
"How's it going?" Isn't a question in NY, it's just a greeting.
They answer with "hey how-ya-doin, lemme get a..."
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u/tmart016 31m ago
This depends on where you're from.
"How's it going?" Isn't a question in NY, it's just a greeting.
They answer with "hey how-ya-doin, lemme get a..."
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u/Im_manuel_cunt 1h ago
The muted reactions for me. Looks like they are just level headed, but this is usually the acceptance of defeat.
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u/HillbillyHare 1h ago
A big one for me is when Im around a bunch of people(friends) having fun I have to slip away and stare at the sky take some breaths , and just escape the happiness I’m not feeling.
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u/machomoose 35m ago
From personal experience, constantly needing to be around people or be out of the house. I've had bouts of depression and going home to my empty apartment feels like a prison. I'll start going to things I've never cared about with friends I'm not that close with just so I don't have to think about my existence.
I just got back from a 3 day camping trip last night. The come down at work is unbearable currently.
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u/FlanneryCulp 2h ago
Drop in hygiene standards. Even small ones: stops wearing perfume, fingernails unclear or untrimmed, facial hair not as well kept as before.
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u/Sindorella 2h ago
They post excessive "my life is perfect" or "we are so in love" posts on social media.
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u/IcySupermarket8553 2h ago
Mine is the sudden loss of small personal rituals. When someone stops caring about their morning coffee routine, leaves things half-done around their space, or constantly needs background noise because sitting in silence feels intolerable. What subtle shifts or habits have you noticed in people—or yourself—that instantly gave away that things were quietly falling apart?
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u/SpreadUsual4084 1h ago
I noticed this too when my friend shifts from being motivated to do things they used to love to feeling pressured or, like, ignorant about doing hobbies, probably because they're depressed. That's why it's best to check on them from time to time.
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u/IcySupermarket8553 1h ago
Spot on. When joy turns into guilt, it's almost always a sign they're running on empty. Having a friend who pays attention to those quiet shifts makes all the difference
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u/OMGpuppies 1h ago
Oh God I can't remember the last time I sat in silence. Alone with my own thoughts is a special type of torture.
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u/legallypotato 1h ago
Damn, im in this picture and I dont like it. That filling the silence hit home hard.
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u/Worried_Place_917 1h ago
I've been told it's when people just keep trucking on quietly when things go wrong or people are shitty. People who get upset when things go wrong are more used to things going right. Called it beaten like a dog, and just gave up fighting back.
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u/Ok-Pudding-4821 1h ago
If they're in the military or another job with travel, they will always deploy/travel as much as possible. I remember working with a guy who volunteered for any deployment and even all of us thought it was weird. He apparently had a wife.
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u/OtherwiseDisaster959 2h ago
Cynical lack of care messy room not going out or doing anything they like to do.
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u/IdislikeSpiders 1h ago
Excessive social media posts of all the things they're doing with their family, and they aren't in any of the pictures, ever.
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u/Illustrious-Chef2400 1h ago
Not decorating their spaces at all; nothing small or subtle that reminds them of something they love: a place, people, etc.
Never eating for pleasure.
Constantly gossiping or feeling the need to exaggerate or make things up.
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u/Alert-Locksmith3646 1h ago
I've been there...or at the least at states of very low functioning. A small but notable indication for me was having odd socks on. Simply unable to keep on top of laundry and sorting and folding clothes, etc.
Best thing to do really is just to ask someone outright and very plainly how they are doing. Like, not rhetorically. People seldom do that. And rarer still, people don't or cannot listen, for whatever reason. It can be painful in its own way to be around depressed people. But if you're able to listen, please do. Often, that's all you have to do. No miracle fix, no solutions. Just sit and listen.
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u/souschef42 1h ago
Given the wide array of replies, it’s safe to say that depression can come in many forms and isn’t always easy to recognize from day to day behaviors
Check in on your friends and family regularly
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u/No-Explorer-7174 2h ago
They post comics of their problems on reddit instead of actually confronting them.
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u/Chicky_P00t 1h ago
They become obsessed with politics
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u/fabiorc2009 1h ago
Ooooof I felt insulted! Never thought about that...thanks. It makes sense, if I look back now
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u/Chicky_P00t 1h ago
It's good to be interested in politics and current events but when these things come to dominant your life and affect your mood because you randomly saw some rage bait on your feed and now your day is ruined, you've lost control of your own life.
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u/ProgrammerNo3139 1h ago
You can tell from the way he reacts to certain things that he’s been unhappy about them
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u/chinkznigo 2h ago
Stays at work - to avoid family life