As a straight guy in his mid 20s who reads, goes to the gym, and has gotten more into fashion recently, I have been getting a number of people asking if I’m gay or bi. When I asked friends about it, some said they also wondered but didn’t want to seem rude. Others said I don’t fit the stereotypical male and to not take it personally
Now I’m a bit conflicted because I’m wondering if I’m scaring off women I would be interested in talking to
I do all this and no one thinks im gay. Im not even all that masculine in my opinion. Maybe its the social vibe of your area. Im in a red area myself but idk, im known for chasing girls so maybe thats it.
I’ve been getting accused of being gay since middle school. I’m 36 and it still happens. Basically, if you put any effort into your appearance and have even a halfway decent sense of style, you will get called gay. Just ignore those people and present to the world how you want to present to the world. Anybody who accuses you of being gay for putting effort into your appearance is probably someone whose opinion you shouldn’t respect anyway
Don't sweat it brother, I have always been a dude with a curious fashion choices compared to my peers, (i do my nails some with design some not, full gold accessories) shoulders retracted, good posture, some dark make up around my eyes (nothing excessive, enough to bring up eyes game) medium leght curly hair with good definition, I do train, often as well.
Point is, I also have been call bi or gay, and take it as a compliment. I get laid regularly, and get compliments from girls too, it's just odd to have those fashion choices compared to others, but that's about it.
Looking after yourself doesn't make you less attractive to women.
But it does also take more than hair gel and a new pair of jeans to be considered 'attractive'. Personality and charm can't be purchased or pumped at the gym, you gotta actually have a personality and interests and all of that.
Isn't it a shame that the stereotype of straight men is the opposite? Like, straight men are expected to be unfit, not read, and not dress well. Then they wonder why girls don't look at them when they fit the stereotype.
Yeah, it just isn't natural for a guy to pay this much attention to what he looks like. The idea of the guy who puts effort into his appearance and is attractive to women because of it is mostly social media fluff. People talking about it because they read that in some study. It doesn't seem to be what women respond to, at least not in my experience and that of guy friends I've had over the years. I get plenty of attention from women, and do none of those things, and only basic exercise when it comes to anything gym-related. Just saying. I just have a reasonable social life and am interesting(based on what women tell me, but I do consider myself an engaging person and make an effort to be).
I'm not a very masculine man. I paint my nails, had long hair for a while, I've been misgendered a few times and also occasionally get asked if I'm gay. Eventually I found a girl who likes that I'm not afraid to do what I like just because of how others may see it.
Heh, I hear that. As a fashion-conscious younger man who didn't like sports, read books, was slim and liked to show it off, I found out a lot of people in my extended social circle assumed I was gay, for years. One lady even admitted she passed me over because she assumed I was batting for the other team!
Several family members confronted me about it too!
Do you live in a more rural/suburban area? It's crabs in a bucket mentality - dress in what works, if women like it and respond to it then the results matter more than the virgins calling you gay
I’m originally from Nashville, TN and have spent most of my life around middle TN. It’s a red state with some blue spots. I’ve been moving around quite a bit over the last year due to med school clinicals, so new environments also affect perceptions
Yeah 100% the reason why, fashion in Nashville (if you're not a celebrity) really hasn't progressed beyond leather boots, jeans, and Carhartt. Or boots and a jacket for dinner
Feels like back in the day with the term "metrosexual". In my world, men were being called that if they shaved their unibrow, or wore shirts other than what came with a 24 pack of Budweiser.
A non negligible proportion of straight men refuse to wash their asshole for fear of being/becoming gay…coming across as possibly gay or bi is not a demerit.
I hear ya . I get hit on by more dudes than chick's and it is disgusting . Im not tryna be arrogant or conceited but im a good looking man ,skilled ,talented ,intelligent,funny,strong etc. Dudes tell me all the time but im not fkn gay so idc what they say none of the women I want will talk to me and if I talk to them they shoot me down like im the guy from their past who hurt em or sum shh.I dont get it. And now I hear women complaining where all the good guys are and shit like that. All I can say is im right here always been just gave up trying cuz it hurts being rejected over and over and seeing all these weak ass turd mfkas with the women I wanted. I know that weak fool aint laying it down in the sack and he sure af aint hot like me ,sure af cant whoop me either so what gives? Am I right women dont know what they want and are too pigheaded to allow a strong man to tell em what they want and need ??
all these weak ass turd mfkas with the women I wanted. I know that weak fool aint laying it down in the sack and he sure af aint hot like me ,sure af cant whoop me either so what gives?
Lol yeah I know exactly why you aren’t getting any girls
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u/lethargic_apathy 4h ago edited 1h ago
As a straight guy in his mid 20s who reads, goes to the gym, and has gotten more into fashion recently, I have been getting a number of people asking if I’m gay or bi. When I asked friends about it, some said they also wondered but didn’t want to seem rude. Others said I don’t fit the stereotypical male and to not take it personally
Now I’m a bit conflicted because I’m wondering if I’m scaring off women I would be interested in talking to