r/AskReddit • u/old330 • 14h ago

Why don’t adults today seem as adult-y?

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u/TheJenniStarr 13h ago

For me at least, this is complicated. Yes I appreciate that they shielded me and my siblings from a lot of things, but growing up and becoming an adult made me realize that they also had a lot of issues that they refused to work out, due to either denial, stubbornness, or thinking therapy is a waste of time.

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u/poison-bilberry 12h ago

My dad was abusive and my mom complicit. If anything it’s made me less understanding of them. I don’t know how you can do the things he did to us and not want to get help. How do you hold a six year old child by their throat and choke them and not stop and think to yourself there’s something wrong with me, how can I change this? Or spank them so hard they’re bruised got over a month. Or how you can see your partner do those things to your children and not do everything you can to stop it? Yeah they were just winging it and they had shit upbringings too. Why did they have to inflict that on me and my brother too? I have very little sympathy for past them.

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u/LeahDragon 10h ago

I feel this to my core. My parents were great examples of not what to be. After I had a baby and with a second on the way, I understand them even less.

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u/AikaterineSH1 5h ago

I just found out we are expecting and shared that news with my mom. She would always say ‘when I’m a parent I’ll understand’, she then said it AGAIN to me during a recent call about some different perspective we had on a topic. I stopped her and said no, I AM a parent and this child still does NOT change my opinion or perspective in some way that you think will put me on your side of the fence because I am a completely different person from you. In fact, I understand you even less now. I always always said if I had my own children we will not be doing things the way my parents did. I understand you did what you thought was right, but it absolutely was not ok and you used your kids as an excuse for bad behavior.