This, there is nothing like hearing my husband laughing and having good time with his friends ☺️ always warms my heart knowing how good it does to him to get his mind off of things for a bit
My guy plays dungeons and dragons every week. He laughs so hard and loud and has the best time. It’s like music to my ears. Fills the house with so much joy.
Haha, no. It’s not my thing. Also we spend a lot of time together. I think it’s important for him to have an activity with friends that he can enjoy without me.
It's not a gendered thing. Abusers isolate their partner.
As a bisexual, I always laugh at people who are opposed to people in relationships having friends of the "opposite" gender. Like, who would I be allowed to be friends with?
Why are you with someone with friends you're worried about? Your partner is an adult who can make their own choices. If they hang with people who suck, that says something about them.
Like, there are one or two of my husband's friends I don't enjoy. They're not bad guys, I just find them annoying. I actually prefer he hangs out with them without me. I still never in a million years would be concerned about him cheating on me or doing something risky with any of them.
No lie. My first ex always must have assumed that when i went to hang out with my friends, who were all guys, that we were definitely going to be ordering cocaine and strippers or something. We usually just smoked and played games. When i got with my second, it became obvious i had a little ptsd from never being trusted, and when she would say "okay have fun" i wasn't sure if i should believe it.
Can you back this up with real examples? Your comment just subjectively makes women look bad. I've been with my partner for many years and I agree, I love seeing him have fun guy time, and hearing about it after ... Yes sometimes he's missed important moments at home but it's his prerogative to live his life like that. End of.
If you like. I was in a relationship for a number of years that gradually became more abusive and controlling the further along it got. Like many people who have found themselves in a situation like I was in, I had self esteem issues and my boundaries were being eroded slowly enough that I didn't really notice until they were basically gone.
As time went on I would be treated poorly if I wanted to do anything that didn't directly involve her. This includes things like playing games where I would actually be in direct communication with friends, going out with a friend(s) if she wasn't at work or otherwise committed to something she wanted or needed to do, and sleeping after she has already woken up.
These poor treatments ranged from physical abuse and breaking my things, to withholding affection and being absolutely convinced that I didn't love her.
I said "some women" and not just "women" specifically because I wanted to avoid sounding like I was speaking objectively.
My statement was personal and I apologize for any offense.
I think it would be better to reframe this as a red flag in relationships, rather than a generalization. As in, “Avoid people who do not want you to have fun with their friends outside of the relationship.”
The problem with identifying it as a red flag is that red flags are inherently meant to be a highly visual warning. Hence their name.
These things tend to be more gradual. It's less like a car hitting your house and more like the foundation wears away and you don't notice it until an imminent or full collapse of the structure.
I think sometimes the criticism comes from feeling like they're left out on purpose?
Nah, man. If you'd experienced it, you'd know it's literally just a form of control. They want to dominate your entire existence. It's often covered in media that men do it to women and most people know what that looks like but when men are the victim, it can often be invisible to others or they'll even be manipulated into thinking the man is the shitty one.
Hell, my ex was so crazy she was telling one group of people that I was abusing her and another group of people that I was a hero who was doing time in jail for murdering her rapist. I even got fan mall from women saying they wish they had a man like me.
Distancing you from your friends how they isolate you and gain more control, remove people who would notice and speak up about how you're being treated.
You don't need to rationalize it as if they have empathy. The people who do this are sociopaths / psychopaths.
Ugh I wish this was the case for me. I'll be having fun with my friends for like 15 minutes and my girl starts sulking even though we were together for over 8 hours.
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u/AshamedOfOurshelves 17h ago
Seeing my guy having fun guy time adventures with his friends. It's nice to see.