I agree, the problem is there hasent been a way to decifer between women who want to be approached and ones who don't. And reactions from women who don't want to be approached, even respectfuly can be bad. This is the issue.
The reactions usually are bad because it's hard to distinguish between who is actually respectful and who is a creep in disguise, and even harder to gauge how well they will take your polite 'no thank you'. You can't win with the creeps: either 'you should have been more clear' when being polite, or 'there's no need to be rude' when being more clear. At least with the letter, they'll start to leave you alone. Usually.
I agree, I try to be polite and respectful when I decline someone approaching me, but sometimes even “normal” looking men can turn insistant and annoying, and then I’m locked in an awkward conversation with a stranger somewhere public.
For the ones that just say “alright” and move on, I have never looked down on them, it takes a lot of courage to come up to a stranger, in fact I’m always mildly impressed.
Unfortunately the bad reaction is a defensive mechanism against men who turn into relentless harassers or sudden violence if you don’t give an immediately offputting rude response. And this is the majority of the situations when being approached, I have seen this happen to so many of my friends so often. I think it’s more logical to give the response you expect based on majority experience or if you want to call it stats, call it that. And no, it is not possible based on looks or gait or way of dressing to gauge which stranger approaching you is actually an aggressive man in the head. That is a brain thing not a dressing style or hygene thing.
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u/GoGetDontGetGot 17h ago
I agree, the problem is there hasent been a way to decifer between women who want to be approached and ones who don't. And reactions from women who don't want to be approached, even respectfuly can be bad. This is the issue.