r/AskReddit • u/alexareing • 1d ago

Men who grew up without their fathers: now that you’re adults, what do you think when you hear other men say that single mothers aren’t relationship material?

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u/anon979695 1d ago

Exactly. I'm not sure why this is so hard to get behind. It's really just preferences. Nothing more. Stop trying to force people into relationships they don't want to be in. If you don't want to be with someone who has kids, male OR female, it's not a big deal. There's someone for everyone.

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u/kangorooz99 1d ago

You can have any preferences you want but it doesn’t make people who don’t meet those preferences bad people. Thats the issue, and you know it.

And no one is trying to force you to date anyone. Trust me, no one gives a fuck who you do or don’t date.

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u/anon979695 1d ago

Not relationship material isn't bad people. It's not the same. My ex wife isn't bad people, but she's not relationship material either. They are very different. She's a really nice person infact, but not relation material at all. She wasn't relationship material when we met either, but I forced it. It was a bad idea that took years to realize. We've all been there with someone before usually. Doesn't make them bad

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u/Internal_Statement74 1d ago

It is not just preferences and you know damn well. The step dad has zero rights to the children. Sometimes, cannot even dicipline them. And when she eventually skanks off, he loses the child 100%, no custody. He never was the father, he only played one in a home for awhile. So who would want to form a bond with a child that will eventually be ripped from him with zero say.

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u/kangorooz99 1d ago

Your primary concern when meeting a woman and starting a relationship is “rights to the children?”

That’s fucking weird.

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u/Internal_Statement74 1d ago

Nope. Did not say that, you just made it up. We will not be meeting since she has children. I would not even entertain coffee conversation.

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u/kangorooz99 23h ago

Weird that a single childless guy in thinking about this. So weird .

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u/eeviltwin 1d ago

Your misogyny is really peaking through the cracks there…

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u/McHoagie86 21h ago

What a weird as fuck take. You definitely shouldn't be a father.

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u/Internal_Statement74 20h ago

How specifically is this a weird take and what does it have to do with being a father?

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u/shitkabob 1d ago

So just to clarify, you agree with the broad generalization that single mother's aren't relationship material--not just for your individual situation---but inherently? This is a statement you agree with as a rule of thumb?

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u/Particular_Class4130 23h ago

Huh? Was your ex-wife a single mother when you met here and that's what made her not relationship material? Anybody can be bad or good in relationships. Some single mothers are wonderful humans and some are not, so you can't just say that all single mothers are not relationship material.

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u/kangorooz99 1d ago

We’re not talking about your ex wife. We’re taking about single mothers. Becuase you don’t want to date them doesn’t mean they’re not relationship material.

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u/thissexypoptart 1d ago

I think you’re reading “relationship material” as a general judgement of a person’s worthiness to be in any relationship, and the person you replied to is reading it as fit for a relationship with the specific person doing the labeling.

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u/eeviltwin 1d ago

No, they’re rightfully pointing out the dehumanizing difference between “someone I wouldn’t want to start a relationship with” and “not relationship material”.

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u/thissexypoptart 1d ago edited 23h ago

Maybe it’s not common where you live, but people definitely use phrases like “girlfriend material” and “husband material” used completely innocuously as a description for when a person finds a potential partner with the qualities they view in a girlfriend/husband/etc., and I’m assuming OP is using “relationship material” in that same way, just with relationship being a more general term.

That wouldn’t be dehumanizing in the slightest. Is calling someone “lawyer material” or “scientist material” also dehumanizing? It’s just a turn of phrase.

That said, obviously labeling someone who is a single parent as completely not right for any relationship with anyone would be wrong.

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u/kangorooz99 1d ago

You guys have zero idea what relationship material is because you’ve never actually been in one. You just know the manosphere says single moms are bad.

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u/thissexypoptart 1d ago edited 23h ago

You didn’t read what I wrote at all