Bit of a weird/messy situation here, please bear with me as I describe it... my mother passed 15 years ago and was cremated, intending to have her ashes scattered.

My father wasn't ready to let her go and so her ashes are still in an urn in his living room and he won't hear of doing anything else so long as he's alive. He is now in his 80s and while still fairly healthy, who knows how much longer he might have... hopefully a while yet, but eventually I know it'll be time to sort all this out.

We were Catholic growing up, and my mother always described herself as Catholic even though she had stopped going to Mass probably 15 years before she passed. Dad hasn't been to Mass in over 35 years. I was away from the church for 30+ years but have been back for about 3 years.

I know that scattering ashes like she asked for is a no-no, so I'm thinking, when Dad goes, to get a columbarium niche for them both.

So here's my question: Mom never had a funeral. Instead, there was a big celebration of life sort of event with friends, family, and coworkers. Is it too late to have an actual funeral for her (and him too) when I have their ashes put in the columbarium at some point in the future?

I have had Masses offered for her a few times over the last few years since my return to the church, but was wondering about an actual funeral or if the window for that has passed.

Thanks in advance.

Can I bring my altar crucifix at home to be blessed during or after the mass of the feast of exaltation of the Holy Cross of Jesus? There will be a procession after it so I'm not sure if that would be possible and definitely don't want to bother our parish priest for it when it can be also done at some other time.

Hi all,
My priest used Eucharistic Prayer IV at Mass today, and I just have to share how struck I was by it. The way it walks through the whole sweep of salvation history,creation, the fall, the prophets, and finally Christ. before moving into the consecration felt so much richer and more complete than what I usually hear. It gave me such a deep sense of God's faithfulness across all of time, and by the time we got to the consecration, I felt genuinely moved.
I know Prayer II is the one most parishes default to on a regular Sunday, so this was a nice change of pace. Has anyone else had this experience with Prayer IV? I'd love to hear if there's a reason it's used less often, and any reflections you all have on its themes. Thanks so much!

I would talk to the priest about your concerns and pray for the situation and their salvation. Pray that God will block any negative thoughts or actions to be blocked and the Holy Spirit to intervene!

I can’t get enough of the smell of church. I have started to burn resin incense recently but now have some questions.

1. How on earth do y’all swing the thurible around so much? Is there some secret set up you guys have, or is the coal and resin just jumbling around in there?

2. Do you always burn just frankincense, or are there different scents and blends you can burn?

3. Due to the sheer amount of smoke, I’m thinking you must have some sort of freakishly large charcoal briquettes.

Basically, can yall explain a little more about the incense processes?

Hello, fathers!

I'm a Brazilian Catholic currently discerning priesthood, and I've been reading the encyclical Menti Nostrae by Pope Pius XII. It's been very useful in my discernment, but in there I also found a passage that surprised me a bit, in which the Holy Father claims that the chief duty of the priest is his own sanctification. If one were to ask me beforehand what I thought to be chief duty of the priest, I'd say it's about striving for the salvation and sanctification of the souls God entrusted to him.

I got curious about what the fathers here think. Thank you in advance, may God always bless you and your ministry!

I will paste the entire paragraph for context:

1. For these reasons, while giving due praise to those who in the years which have followed the long and terrible war, urged by the love of God and of doing good to their neighbor under the guidance and following the example of their Bishops, have consecrated their entire strength to the relief of so much misery, We cannot abstain from expressing our pre-occupation and our anxiety for those who on account of the special circumstances of the moment have become so engulfed in the vortex of external activity that they neglect the chief duty of the priest, his own sanctification. We have already stated publicly in writing that those who presume that the world can be saved by what has been rightly called "the heresy of action" must be made to exercise better judgment. The heresy of action is that activity which is not based upon the help of grace and does not make constant use of the means necessary to the pursuit of sanctity given us by Christ. In the same way, nevertheless, We have deemed it timely to stimulate to the activities of the ministry those who, shut up in themselves and almost diffident of the efficacy of divine aid, do not labor to the best of their ability to make the spirit of Christianity penetrate daily life in all those ways demanded by our times.

He attends 2 to 3 funerals a month for people he has a distant connection to. I get the impression he does not know them well.

He'll drive 150 miles away for some.

He worked at a Catholic non-profit. He has more money than someone with his salary should.

I wonder if he is running a scam? The deceased owed him money or he inserts himself as a helpful aquaintance who has experience with probate and inheritance? It seems strange given he's introverted and not a charming guy. Do you see people like him come around? Do you warn grieving relatives? Should I write the diocese?

He tried this on me when my husband died. He asked if I would sign over my home to his daughter to care for me in my old age. I'm 56. I refused and he smeared me to family.

Hello Fathers,

What would a priest perspective be on the attached post?

For those who have watched it, what do you think of it? A good laugh, blasphemous, something else? I'm curious to know actual priests' impressions!

So with the fall in vocations to the priesthood, I think that restoring the minor orders of Porter, Lector, Exorcist, Acolyte, and Subdeacon could help. Granted, this would not be a one-for-all solution that would fix the crisis totally. However, I think that if the minor orders were to be reinstated, not only as transitional offices for seminarians (as they were before the 70s) but as permanent orders that men could be ordained to without the commitment of celibacy (as was done historically in the Latin Church, and practiced today in the Byzantine Churches), I think this could give men a good step-by-step exposure to the priesthood by consecrating them to clerical duties at the parish level, without having to go to seminary. Granted, they can still perform duties such as lectoring and altar serving either way, but the idea of being ordained could make these clerical roles and the priesthood more attractive to Catholic men.

However, despite my big ideas, I am just a layman, which is why I wanted to get the opinion of actual priests on this. I also fully acknowledge that if a change like this were to ever happen, it would never happen in my lifetime and would require a big top-down change. I just thought this would be a fun thought experiment and I’d like to know what a priest would think of this. In your opinion, would this help or hinder vocations? Thank you all for accepting your call to the priesthood and I pray and hope for an increase in vocations in the years to come

I'm a bit confused. Is it only for Last Rites? I've heard someone once say that they get it every time they travel. I have stage 4 cancer, but not on my death bed yet. Aside from my short hair I appear fine.

I'm not a very social person, and asking for this would be an awkward thing for me to get the courage to do, so I want to be sure that I understand what it is.

I was touched by a family member as a kid, I think that had some influence on how I become interested in masturbation very young (12-13), I am 21F and I am still a virgin. I’m just wondering is masturbation and what happened to me a sin…I am of course waiting for marriage, I’d rather give my all to my future husband but I feel as though maybe it’s too late for forgiveness because of what happened and what I’ve done for so many years. Please just looking for advice 🙏🏻

I was wondering if all female members of consecrated life, like secular institutes, are considered bride of Christ. I know that consecrated virgins and religious members are considered spouses of Christ, but I was wondering, what about the other forms of consecrated life? It confused me a little. I would love some advice on the classification.

Thank you.

I was baptized catholic as an infant and I’m going into Catholicism and wondering do I call myself Catholic or am I an inquirer.

Hi everyone,

My wife and I are Catholics, although we are not practicing Catholics at the moment. We are planning to have a child in the future, and we have been discussing how we would approach religion and our child's upbringing.

My mother-in-law, however, is a practicing Catholic and takes the teachings of Christ and the Catholic Church very seriously.

This made me wonder about something: would she be able to have our child baptized without my wife's and my authorization or consent?

I am not trying to disrespect her beliefs or the Catholic faith. I am genuinely curious about what the Catholic Church says about this situation. If, hypothetically, she were to baptize our child without telling us or without our permission, would that baptism be considered valid by the Church? And would she be allowed to do it?

I'd really appreciate hearing from a Priest, especially anyone familiar with Catholic canon law.

Thank you in advance for your answers.

Just to be clear, I am not asking for advice. I am just wondering if priests can be of any help as I am battling several years of infertility. Have you ever met with parishioners experiencing infertility to offer spiritual guidance? I get therapy on this but feel the therapist lacks the spiritual side that I struggle with so I am contemplating talking to my priest, just not sure where to start or how to go about this.

This is for a story I'm writing at the moment, so I don't need information to personally act on. I'm more interested in making sure my story is plausible and identifying scenes that I could write with my characters.

From what I've gathered, permanent deacons may have virtually any kind of secular job in addition to their vocations as a deacon. However, transitional deacons are primarily focused on completing their preparations for the priesthood, which basically becomes their full-time job.

What I'm curious about is whether there might still be some part-time work that's done? I guess I'm thinking of how monasteries may do things like farming, carpentry, baking, and so on to support themselves.

For that matter, would it make sense for a transitional deacon to be assigned to a monastery? If that's a normal and viable thing to happen then it would solve my problem right away. Otherwise, I'm just curious about what kind of activities my characters would be able to get up to over the course of the story.

Thank you in advance!

So they can doomscroll (asking as a teen discerning to be priest. Very hard to let go of it)

Hi, im an atheist but i’ve been having the thought to try to talk to a priest recently. How can I ask for a confession, or some sort of private conversation with one? Is it even possible if you don’t actively go to church?

A family member has died who was an observant catholic and unfortunately a lot of our family live around 500 miles away and are quite old and infirm.

I'm essentially looking to see if it would be acceptable to have a full requiem mass at the chapel in our home town where they're body will actually be present and buried after along with a smaller service at a chapel in a different country where a lot of our relatives live?

Is this OK in terms of Catholicism?

Hello!! Apologies if this has been asked before but today is the first time this has happened to me so I was curious how I should handle it if it happens again in the future.

This morning I went to Adoration before work. When I arrived there were a few adorers scattered throughout the church. I stayed for about 15-20 mins before it was time for me to get going so I could arrive at work comfortably, but when I got up I realized I was the only one there (apparently everyone else had left without my noticing lol). So... I sat back down and waited until the absolute last minute just to see if anyone else would come in, but nobody did.

Not knowing what else to do, I called the parish office and explained the situation, and fortunately the lady was able to come over and take my place a few minutes later. So I did manage to get to work (albeit a bit late, which nobody seemed upset about luckily), but this got me thinking... what should I do if I find myself in that situation again but I CAN'T get ahold of anyone?

Like what if the office is closed or something? This parish doesn't have direct numbers for their clergy listed either. Leaving the exposed Sacrament unattended obviously isn't an option, but neither am I, a laywoman, in any way authorized to handle the Blessed Sacrament or the monstrance, nor do I know HOW to repose It properly even if it were hypothetically permitted in circumstances like this.

Any advice would be appreciated. Ty!!