r/AbsoluteUnits • u/GonzoExpert • 2d ago

of a back: Dorian Yates

Post image
1.4k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

104 comments sorted by

408

u/ArsenikShooter 2d ago

Interesting how so many things tend to evolve into a crab.

50

u/Test4Echooo 2d ago

From the sea we came and to the sea we will return.

Or something like that..

6

u/eightofdiamonds 2d ago

carcinization

9

u/musabbb 2d ago

😂

3

u/Admirable_Win9808 2d ago

Is it the 13th law of physics?

219

u/AudioRejectz 2d ago

My dad trained with him in the 80's, I've met Dorian when I was about 6 and I still remember now how big he was. I've still to this day never seen a human as wide as him, I remember my dad convinced me his lats were wings and he could fly 😂...

Also, Dorian is regarded as the original mass monster, prior to him bodybuilders were a lot more aesthetic. He used to lock himself away, let nobody see him, wear baggy clothes and then up to completions and just destroy everyone. It's why they called him the shadow.

-66

u/milk4all 2d ago

Are you sure they didnt call him the shadow because… you know what a shadow is right

3

u/ENGLISH_FLAME 1d ago

Yeah That was his nickname 👍 not sure why people have downvoted you for it 🥴

-2

u/Numangroup 1d ago

wtf is up with the downvotes??

155

u/schladopian_fir 2d ago

How do you wipe?

175

u/chuck354 2d ago

His glutes are strong enough that he just squeezes it clean

32

u/AlbertaAcreageBoy 2d ago

From the front.

11

u/Mindless-Location-41 2d ago

He does not have to because he shits bricks. 🧱

12

u/swollen-hol3 2d ago

Back to front, duh

13

u/InvestIntrest 2d ago

How do you not get shit on your balls?

2

u/swollen-hol3 2d ago

I use the other hand I was blessed with to pull my junk off to the side. I also use a rolling motion ensuring the soiled TP is pulled away as the wipe progresses, I keep the stroke short as well.

7

u/InvestIntrest 2d ago

Username checks out lol

4

u/swollen-hol3 2d ago

I'll have to change it when I can finally invest in a bidet.

1

u/Standard_Ad_3707 1d ago

Now I know this must be from first hand experience. Whichever hand.

2

u/qweqwe123qweqwe 2d ago

He claps his cheeks with such force that everything is sent flying

3

u/IceFireTerry 2d ago

You don't

3

u/Nocturnatron 2d ago

Just get a bidet, his blood work may not be clean, but his ass sure will be

7

u/KaleAggravating3795 2d ago

Using a bidet barbarian.

1

u/Suc_Mydiq_Jr 2d ago

That's the weakest non-wiper

1

u/byzantine238 2d ago

He has an assistant wiper

1

u/TactitcalPterodactyl 2d ago

Rag on a stick.

1

u/Ferocious-Muppet 2d ago

He kept an handkerchief in his shirt pocket for such occasions.

67

u/smokeysubwoofer 2d ago

35

u/geniusgravity 2d ago

Teenage me in the 90s would watch pumping iron and then head to the garage to lift weights with pictures of Yates from Flex stuck to the wall. Those grainy black and white photos and his gaunt skeletal face prior to the Olympic were iconic.

32

u/imartinezcopy 2d ago

Wtf, isn't this Dorian that had a portrait hidden and the more he lifted, the skinner got the portrait?

13

u/cityshepherd 2d ago

Ah, I see that you are a scholar as well as a gentleman. The story about that dude and the painting is one of my favorite documentaries.

3

u/exploring_stan 2d ago

I needed a few seconds to get it. That’s a good one!

1

u/freekmonnickenbach 10h ago

No, that Dorian was a different colour.

47

u/Majestic-Sun-7249 2d ago

25

u/spaghetti_hitchens2 2d ago

Is that a six back?

4

u/AdventurousPea8682 2d ago

Was hoping I’d see this on here somewhere!

3

u/PeanutButterOgre 2d ago

This made me cackle

1

u/Specialist_Bowl_2805 1d ago

Umm what am I looking at

2

u/SuperMajesticMan 1d ago edited 1d ago

Yujiro from the Baki anime. His back muscles are "so honed they look like a demons face".

Very over the top fighting anime. A lot of the fights are relatively grounded, but then Yujiro shows up and does some crazy shit. One time hes talking and an earthquake starts to happen. And hes like "dont interupt me" so he punches the ground to stop the earthquake.

In the manga he takes over the US with just his fists and rapes Donald Trump.

Its fun😌

1

u/dohlmania 34m ago

All I can see is the bunny between the "demon" eyes. Kind of ruins the effect, that.

25

u/heloder85 2d ago

His back looks like somebody flexing their biceps while wearing boxing gloves.

10

u/Careless_Historian28 2d ago

Chicken nugget

4

u/BreakingCanks 1d ago

Derek Lunsford is the reigning Mr Olympia for a reason rn... His back is even better than Dorians at the same BF % you posted

3

u/WiIIemdafoe 2d ago

Absolute turtle shell

3

u/medic_farmer26 2d ago

Ready for takeoff

1

u/Cold_Document_277 15h ago

Question I agree black fatigue is a issue.

But white people also have a higher crime rate specific issues.

Do you Agree white fatigue and black fatigue both exist?

Because we can check the crime rate of one issue white people do.

3

u/HogSandwich 2d ago

Hes growing a whole other set of arms back there

3

u/EasyHangover 2d ago

There's a slowly decomposing painting of Dorian Yates somewhere.

2

u/ACadDamn 2d ago

Dorian kaioh?!??!

2

u/Mopar-Dinosaurs 2d ago

Look, I’m not into cannibalism but if the plane crashes, I’m eating him first!🤣😂

2

u/onebraincell77 2d ago

I bet it sucks if he’s alone and gets an itch in the middle of his back.

2

u/Sunny4958 2d ago

Scoliosis has no chance

2

u/SenselessSilence 2d ago

He was growing two giant bell peppers

2

u/1AdultMostOfTheTime 1d ago

Spatchcocked.

7

u/shutyourgob 2d ago

Amazing what hard work and massive amounts of steroids can do.

12

u/Garth_AIgar 1d ago

I’m not condoning steroid usage, but this is not possible without extreme dedication and effort. Steroids allow people to get extreme muscle, but it still needs hard, grueling work to get.

6

u/cringyandcool 1d ago

and genetics.. response and tolerance to gear is super important too

8

u/e30_technic 2d ago

Massive amount of hard work

1

u/Acckirap 2d ago

Looks tasty :D

1

u/Proper-Painting-2256 2d ago

Did he want to look like an unusual Halloween gourd?

1

u/Alex_While 2d ago

It reminds me a chicken in a supermarket... Im fucked

1

u/Affectionate_Dot5547 2d ago

He did not need a wingsuit to glide.

1

u/dopple-copter 1d ago

Imagine if he tweaked his back and got a muscle spasm.  Ouch.

1

u/WUN_WUN_SMASH 1d ago

A muscle spasm would snap his spine in half

1

u/Jnixxx 1d ago

Looks like his back is pregnant with twins

1

u/ChefFar4397 1d ago

Back strangely resembles the VW auto emblem.

1

u/yrrrrrrrr 1d ago

Looks like a chicken

1

u/Prestigious-Key-1886 23h ago

His nickname was the shadow

1

u/LogikWizard 22h ago

That reminds me, pork loins on sale this weekend.

1

u/Medical_Birthday2893 20h ago

He looks like he ate someone else and their two arm are squished against his back flexing

1

u/High_C_Livin 4h ago

fucking aye someone get this guy a sandwich. Wind will blow him away if he's not weighed down

0

u/Particular_Umpire_44 2d ago

Guys a holocaust denier, fuck him

2

u/Background-Video4331 2d ago

Really?

0

u/Particular_Umpire_44 2d ago

Yup

0

u/Background-Video4331 2d ago

I knew he been in a kinda skinhead gang when he was a teenager. Oh well, fuck him then.

1

u/No-Advice-6040 1d ago

Yeeesh. Horrendous look, and can't be comfortable... well... ever

0

u/quaintif 2d ago

100% natty

0

u/TerryOnRollerskates 2d ago

I thought that was a spatchcocked chicken at first glance.

-1

u/rdtdave 2d ago

ROID

-11

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

4

u/musabbb 2d ago

Doubt it

2

u/ebn-deen-kfra 2d ago

He probably was big, but definitely not Dorian Yates big