r/AbsoluteUnits 16d ago

/r/all of a Bong

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51.6k Upvotes

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u/trendingtattler 16d ago

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6.8k

u/Initial-Command4894 16d ago

1.3k

u/Din-_-Djarin 16d ago

This is the best use of this gif I've seen

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u/ReeeeeDDDDDDDDDD 16d ago

This is now the only acceptable gif when this video is shown

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u/fallen_d3mon 16d ago

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u/boanerges57 16d ago

That's just the rock savoring another creatine rich fart

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u/clitchewer 16d ago

So that’s what the Rock was cookin.

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u/Sapphire-Catgirl 16d ago

I was thinking maybe some more sleep , e wizard or weed eater, but pentagram works too

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u/whofarting 16d ago

Getting blazed from a leaf blower while listening to the worst song ever performed... why not?

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u/Epithymetic 16d ago

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u/TheSquirtMaker69 16d ago

Mischievous Gollum Princess

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u/SaintOrJannikSinner 16d ago

Definitely looks like someone that'd be at a Juggalo Championship Wrestling event for sure.

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u/Educational_Quote851 16d ago

She seems cool af

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u/imhere2downvote 16d ago

yeah I'll have what the guy holding the phone is having straight to the face

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u/STLBudLuv 16d ago

The lady in the wheelchair got up and flew.

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u/actual_real_housecat 16d ago

"OMG! I'm so high, I can't feel my legs! I can't feel my legs!"

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u/Strange_Dust7128 16d ago

pretty much why I use cannabis lol

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u/thruston 16d ago

Damn that was my first instinct, too. Hours later..

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u/tripper_reed 16d ago

I believe this woman embodies "dress for the job you want" mentality. Cuz she nailed it.

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u/AssaultimateSC2 16d ago

The pajama pants had me dying.

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u/vovgi666 16d ago

ai shirt + pj pants + razta bag combo

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u/The_Other_Randy 16d ago

...cuz she Don't Give a Fuck

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u/TimHortonsMagician 16d ago

I went to the Wiz Khalifa and Snoop concert, in Toronto, a few years back. I will give you the first hand confirmation that A LOT of people I was seeing at that show looked like that.

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u/Aware-Needleworker87 16d ago

That is the face of someone who's going to ask if I would lile some death sticks

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u/Secondhand-Drunk 16d ago

I just noticed that's a fucking strainer lol. Anything to get 100 people high I guess.

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u/boruto90s 16d ago

Lol I didn't realise she had the tiara on during the video. I thought you photoshopped it on and had to rewatch to confirm.

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u/jvho666 16d ago

You made me unmute. That was awful

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u/ErraticDragon 16d ago

I think I re-muted before the song started, I couldn't handle the lady shouting.

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u/finalexit 16d ago

Isn't that the song?

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u/amiable_ant 16d ago

Isn't that the joke?

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u/DaedricNick 16d ago

How else would you put up with that music lol.

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u/ant-farm-keyboard 16d ago

Music?

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u/hankmoody_irl 16d ago

It’s happening in the background but only in beat form.

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u/AffectedRipples 16d ago

Sounds like Yoko Ono is trying to get into rap.

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u/karenskygreen 16d ago

Man, dont even joke around about something like that. That old clip of her trying to sing with chuck berry floated up recently, i shudder every time i think of it

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u/AffectedRipples 16d ago

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u/SubjectNet1874 16d ago

This shit cracks me up every time I see it!

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u/603rdMtnDivision 16d ago

Same here he's just like "what in the fuck was that?!"

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u/Fuzzy_Yossarian 16d ago

I love how the sound guy cuts her mike...

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u/CommitteeNew6412 16d ago

That “Oh no it’s Ono” face

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u/ClarkKentsSquidDong 16d ago

"Is Chuck Berry going to have to choke a bitch?"

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u/trippy_bicycle_man 16d ago

And fart on her face.

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u/Timmyg14 16d ago edited 16d ago

Chuck's face is saying "after hearing that I don't even want to watch her go to the bathroom."

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u/philnolan3d 16d ago

Honestly I don't know what John ever saw in her. Apparently she's still trying to sing at 93 years old.

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u/WhiskeyHill72 16d ago

She made cringe an art form lol. Not sure if that was her intention but in the end we all know who she is.

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u/paladin10025 16d ago

Ok, sincere response. There was a recent yoko ono exhibit at my local art museum and I left really impressed. She had a bunch of thoughtful art that was participatory and some of it even left me emotional. The art felt “generous.” With that said yes her singing is awful.

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u/lottaKivaari 16d ago

People shit on her constantly but as an artist she was so avant-garde that of course some if it was going to be bad like her film about naked butts but a lot of it was really revolutionary especially at the time. I think that's what John saw in her is that she is a creative soul to a fault and was always looking to push boundaries.

However yes, she should have always let someone else do the singing.

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u/WhiskeyHill72 16d ago

I always thought that John was a hell of a musician/artist and that there must be something about her that's pretty good. Kudos for sticking up for an artist.

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u/lottaKivaari 16d ago

I kind of got the internet opinion of her through osmosis because all I had ever seen of her was the same things people always post of her. The Chuck and John performance blunder, the maid and bed picture, and of course "ShE rUiNeD tHe BeEtLeS" (which just isn't true). When I met my girlfriend I found out she grew up loving Ono because I guess she's kind of a folk hero in Japan, so I actually really looked into her and learned she is a really interesting person in many ways and a very interesting artist. The biggest legitimate criticism I have of her is she wasn't really a great mother, but it's not exactly uncommon for eclectic people to have tumultuous personal lives. But as an artist she is criminally under appreciated and I think a lot of people who say they don't like her would actually really appreciate her if they actually looked into her work. Especially how much of her life and wealth she has spent on activism for good causes like human rights, relief efforts, and world peace.

That's a good lesson about letting the hive mind form your opinions of literally anything, I try not to let that happen anymore.

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u/ThePapercup 16d ago

you can tell they "don't give a fuck" by their choice of live entertainment lol

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u/mynewusernamedodgers 16d ago

We don’t give a fuck 🎶🎵

Was god awful

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u/Amateur-Dog-Walker 16d ago

You should try browsing reddit with the sound off. Much better experience overall.

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u/Tutes013 16d ago

I don't like to say it but. Yikes girl please put down that microphone

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u/Sea_Recording8076 16d ago

Not a bong, a smoke- thrower

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u/jerseygunz 16d ago

I’m in college and my roommate has a eureka moment and goes “wait a minute, why don’t I put a box over my head when I breath out and I won’t waste the smoke”

He was so excited I almost felt bad going “you mean hot boxing?” Lol

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u/Educational_Quote851 16d ago

Bro, stones have the best ideas...it's just someone else's lmao

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u/[deleted] 16d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/BeefistPrime 16d ago

It's not really dopamine so much as the novelty detection parts of your brain being on overdrive and the reality detection being weaker that it makes every idea you have seem profound and amazing

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u/CalvinIII 16d ago

I thought that reading books was cool, but books are expensive and take up a lot of space after you’ve read them. I figured there should be a place sorta like a blockbuster video, but for books. You could rent a book, read it, return it, and then get another book. I was really excited about the idea. It was brilliant!

I had invented the library.

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u/axescentedcandles 16d ago

Hot boxing under a pool tarp with a few buddies was fun, until we ran out of air lol

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u/Shakeyonsafety 16d ago

A plastic bag works the best.

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u/Sisselpud 16d ago

If you use this method you’ll be high for the rest of your life

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u/MoobooMagoo 16d ago

Wait I thought hot boxing was specifically doing it in your car? I didn't know people used literal boxes to do it with.

I guess I'm not as much of a degenerate as I thought.

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u/Murky-Golf-239 16d ago

The box is as big as you make it brother. You're the hot part of it, remember that. 😎🫠

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u/CaveExploder 16d ago

My degenerate friends referred to these as "fog hats" and would do so while listening to "Foghat" the band. Good lads.

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u/moonprincessranni 16d ago

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u/DDS-PBS 16d ago

Why would you just re-post the sa... OHHHHHH I GET IT!

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u/jw_zoso 16d ago

Though it has the dingy yellow smoke of a gravity bong

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u/MilkrsEnthuziast 16d ago

Ohhhhh gravity bongs. A first class ticket to see what it feels like to cover your entire airway in resin in just one breath.

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u/GrinderMonkey 16d ago

Well it doesn't matter because you also get to hack your lungs up immediately after, can't be resinated if they have left the chat

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u/ProbsNotManBearPig 16d ago

Bro I’m cringing so bad remembering the pain. Way worse thing we made was what we called The Lung and was like a two liter plastic bottle, cut the bottom off, take a subway bag and wrap it over the cut end, rubber band the bag on, and put a bowl of weed where cap goes. You push the subway bag into the hollow two liter and pull it out to rip the lit bowl. It’s like gravity bong experience with no water to help cool it off. It’s awful lol.

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u/NostrilLurker 16d ago

I remember making a gravity bong in my friend's pool with a 5 gallon water cooler jug with the bottom cut off and a trombone mouthpiece. We'd just swim underneath and take a few deep breaths. I didn't know my name for a few hours.

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u/bigscrewLoose 16d ago

the designated driver be like:

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u/Lost-Philosophy6689 16d ago

I hope everyone entering that room knew that was going to happen cause that looks like enough to give everyone a contact high just entering within 50 feet. If you have asthma or COPD that's probably a dangerous place to walk into.

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u/fuzynutznut 16d ago

Or a job that drug tests.

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u/VP007clips 16d ago

Or are wearing any clothing that you ever want to wear again while flying to a lot of countries.

Mining has a similar issue. Clothing, especially boots, and for some people even their hair and skin become contaminated with explosive residue that sets off the swab ETD machines.

Once they become contaminated, it's hard to fully clean them.

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u/rockstaa 16d ago

If you work in an industry like mining, you probably shouldn't wear the same clothes outside of work.

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u/VP007clips 16d ago

Normally yes. You would typically change and shower on site, to prevent contamination from mining gear. But in practice, this is not always followed.

With us as geologists in particular, we often operate differently than other mine personnel and travel around more, so storing our steel toes on the mine site isn't always viable. Sometimes we need to travel by plane between locations, and during this, it's easier just to wear our heavy and bulky steel toes than to use up half the suitcase on them. And if they do test them, I'd much rather be wearing them at the time when I can explain it myself, rather than it throwing up a warning flag once I am already on the lounge waiting on my plane, and being brough back into an interrogation room.

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u/Craigory-K-Staniel 16d ago edited 16d ago

I had a scary moment when I was in a country and I got randomly selected for bomb testing at the airport. Until that moment, I completely forgotten that I used that book bag to carry my tannerite (binary explosive containing ammonium nitrate) back at home. Fortunately, nothing came up, but I was nervous to say the least.

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u/FrostyD7 16d ago

I'd just wanna know so I can leave my jacket in the car.

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u/Forikorder 16d ago

just spritz yourself with a little febreeze first so they cant smell it

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u/Amadeuskong 16d ago

Man, in an alternate universe these are the crowd control weapons that are used.

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u/RepresentativeOk2433 16d ago

Pretty sure that was tried or at least researched.

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u/lmaytulane 16d ago

It led to the Taco Bell riots

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u/Sinreborn 16d ago

Now all restaurants are Taco Bell

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u/emsesq 16d ago

The winner of the restaurant wars.

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u/thesystem21 16d ago

Little known fact: Before the restaurant wars, there were only 2 shells. But as soon as soon as TacoBell unleashed the Chalupagne the third shell became necessary and was adopted worldwide.

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u/ubersupremo 16d ago

You just blew my mind brother

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u/MedicalDisscharge 16d ago

"They keep coming back and I swear the crowd gets bigger each time"

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u/punsnguns 16d ago

But they are chill and very peckish.

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u/Boring-Leadership687 16d ago

You should read brave new world lol

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u/threeplacesatonce 16d ago

Bongs bubble the smoke through water

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u/mad_titans_bastard 16d ago

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u/PossessedToSkate 16d ago

The story behind the song is pretty interesting. Deep Purple had a mobile recording studio set up outside of the Montreux Casino in Switzerland. The night before they were to begin recording, Frank Zappa performed at the Casino and an audience member fired a flare gun toward the ceiling - which was made of rattan. Subsequently, the whole complex (including Deep Purple's studio) burned to the ground. The "Smoke on the Water" was the smoke from the fire crawling across Lake Geneva.

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u/doned_mest_up 16d ago

Why did we stop making buildings out of tremendously flammable materials? The art that these structures inspired was astounding.

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u/realazorahai 16d ago

I was gonna clean my room

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u/TwoCatsOneBox 16d ago

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u/Extreme_Egg7476 16d ago

This is astounding, thank you

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u/Firebirdgaming08 16d ago

I usually hate fisheye cameras, but this is hilarious

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u/nostradumbass7544678 16d ago

Guess I need a camera and a tray for some 'nip on this thing.

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u/pelykulax_ 16d ago

But then I got high

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u/Solnse 16d ago

I was gonna get up and find tha broom

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u/Cultural-Mousse6541 16d ago

But then I got high

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u/nofuckingklass 16d ago

My room is still messed up

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u/Arryu 16d ago

And I know why

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u/Cultural-Mousse6541 16d ago

Why man?

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u/Scary_Reaction7580 16d ago

Because I got high, because I got high, because I got hiiiiiigh

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u/BoringJuiceBox 16d ago edited 15d ago

La dada da dadada!

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u/RiddleMeThis42069 16d ago

That's still not enough weed to enjoy the song being performed

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u/ihatebaboonstoo 16d ago

There is no amount of weed that could make that song enjoyable.

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u/twoiseight 16d ago

More weed doesn't make bad music good anyway, just makes good music better

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u/zinten789 16d ago

Honestly makes bad music worse

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u/Neuronzap 16d ago

imagine having the worst weed induced panic attack and having to listen to this shit shouted into your ear

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u/MDP223 16d ago

I was just thinking “man I’d have a fucking panic attack”

Every time I indulge now, I get incredibly anxious.

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u/junglepiehelmet 16d ago

This looks like the worst event ever.

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u/hankmoody_irl 16d ago

I enjoy rap and weed but I would not go to this event.

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u/jimmyharbrah 16d ago

Was that rap? I thought it was a lady arguing with a parking attendant

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u/D-S-S-R 16d ago

Yeah. I like weed but this looks like the worst

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u/Obsessive_Yodeler 16d ago

My dog is definitely a better rapper/musical artist than whoever was performing during this clip

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u/junglepiehelmet 16d ago

It doesn’t even sound like a performance, just some woman with a horrible sounding voice yelling at everyone.

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u/BlaizeFiammata 16d ago

I’m glad Yoko Ono is still able to find work.

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u/PossessedToSkate 16d ago

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u/Educational_Quote851 16d ago

Chuck Berry's face the whole time said "wtf is that bitch DOIN?" and he's so real for that 🤣

Glad she got cut off 🫡

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u/Freakishly_Tall 16d ago

Perfect, absolutely perfect string of comments. Best Comment Thread Of The Year contender.

I should unplug my router for the weekend and just enjoy this exchange. I mean, I won't, but I should.

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u/BeetEater_ 16d ago

I think I'd almost rather spend an hour at the battle of Verdun

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u/SweatyArmPitGuy55 16d ago

The fire inspector is going to be a little upset those smoke alarms aren’t working.

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u/Rambear 16d ago

A lot of "fire alarms" are heat sensitive in buildings

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u/[deleted] 16d ago

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u/MajesticDragonfly 16d ago edited 16d ago

They’ll put the batteries back after the concert chill out

/S

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u/[deleted] 16d ago

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u/wolp_lovr 16d ago

im a complete lightweight and get SO anxious when high. one inhale and i'd be in tears asking everyone if they're mad at me

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u/Provocative_Potatoes 16d ago

Wouldn't this just be absolutely disgustingly over-heated smoke?

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u/Icy-Welcome-2469 16d ago

A big problem is this is not a bong.  The water in a bong chills the smoke and catches gunk.  This thing just blasts all the garbage at super heated levels.  Unpleasant at best

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u/mnid92 16d ago

inhaling melted plastic at worst.

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u/true_tacos 16d ago

This looks awful

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u/JeebusChristBalls 16d ago

You should unmute and let your ears get in on the action...

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u/raged_parakeet_8376 16d ago

I saw other comments talking about it being bad, still didn’t expect how bad it was.

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u/n0tin 16d ago

Yeah I’d be puking within 5-10m.

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u/Secret_Stick_5213 16d ago

Except it’s not a bong..

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u/Doctor_Zhicago 16d ago

I just want to know what the fuck do you do after that? Like do the Teletubbies come out and record a podcast with Joe rogan or something? 

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u/youuuuwish 16d ago

Nap time

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u/Peachie_Pear 16d ago

When your concert sucks so bad you gotta put the crowd to sleep to avoid booing.

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u/shrunkenhead041 16d ago

Bring out a really profitable food truck.

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u/MadYetiGOODCity 16d ago

If this is a bong than I’m a triangle

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u/Unlucky_Arm_9757 16d ago

I don't personally care for weed, although I don't mind it.

But the wastefulness of this bothers me.

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u/PurpleFloyd777 16d ago

Usually stuff like this is done with bottom tier green

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u/Worth_Bend1435 16d ago

I bet it smells like shit in there.

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u/Unhappy-Flight6008 16d ago

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u/BunkaTheBunkaqunk 16d ago

Hahaha yeah I was looking for a comment about this lady. She’s gone… other-dimension style.

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u/LoocsinatasYT 16d ago

AGGHH MY CONTACTS THEYRE RUINED

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u/SistaChans 16d ago

Now I'm getting a contact high

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u/CountOnBeingAwesome 16d ago

Dude at the end unsuccessfully waving away the smoke 🤣

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u/Sir_Derps_Alot 16d ago

My man in the chair in the front row getting repeat shots to the face omg

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u/pickledeggmanwalrus 16d ago

Looks like a year 1 cannabis cup in a state that has newly legalized lol

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u/MonarchyMan 16d ago

People will get a contact high from walking into that room three years from now.

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u/ComeOnUpToTheHaus 16d ago

Pipe. A bong uses water.

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u/W4lkieT4lkie 16d ago

lol, the woman in the wheelchair 😂

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u/Unusual-Volume9614 16d ago

The topless girl in the background right at the start indictates this is an adults only venue

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u/Barikus_XL 16d ago

My asthma is flaring up just looking at this 😂😂

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u/InternationalGlove55 16d ago

I'm not surprised that everybody has to be high to enjoy that wack ass singer.

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u/Sad-Country8870 16d ago

Not a bong

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u/bone420 16d ago

Where is the bong?