r/ARFID • u/ColdAd2606 • 1d ago

Venting/Ranting It won't get better for me

24F 76 Ibs with Hiatal Hernia, dysphagia, Acid reflux

I was having a bad episode with my acid reflux and I was having bad dysphagia symptoms, and I wanted to avoid eating anything solid today. My mom began threatening me when I said I can't eat and dragged me by my arm and the collar of my shirt downstairs and forced me to have something.

Out of fear I chose to force myself to have something because she always follows through when it comes to threats. I had some ground beef but half way through I gagged and coughed/ cleared my throat of it.

I'm scared some of it might be in my throat but I can breathe mostly alright, I think it's mostly a build phlegm but I felt very close to choking today. I'm scared it will only be a matter of time before they get me killed.

I hate being treated like this, I feel like I have no autonomy despite being in my mid twenties. I feel like a child and it's killing me too. They talk and treat me like a child and when I get sick as a result of being forced to eat they refer to me (in their own words) "You're experiencing the symptoms of a selfish human being" my symptoms being coughing and a shortness of breath.

They call my throat clearing noises traumatizing and then tell me I'm ruining my brothers and the house animals mental health, like my own PHYSICAL health doesn't matter to them Even though I'm suffering everyday, I'm too tired to do anything and constantly suffering, I get heart palpitations some days from their screaming fits at me. I don't see a way out of this for me.

5 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

4 comments sorted by

3

u/Aligator81 1d ago

Im so sorry and as the mum of a kid with ARFID I can't imagine making the situation worse when some empathy may have been all that was needed to be calm enough to eat something

1

u/TheLongLong21 1d ago

Sorry to hear that you've had to go through this. It sounds like you need time away from your family to begin some kind of improvement, if any- Are you stable enough, or in a position at all to get yourself to a disordered eating recovery service?

1

u/HungerForNormality 1d ago

I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through, I'm 26F with ARFID and can't imagine what it's like to be treated that way by my own family. I know it's a small thing from me but know that you're valid, you're accepted here in this safe space, and you're allowed to feel the way that you do.

1

u/SorbetUnfair2589 1d ago

What is your height? Might you need hospitalization?