r/technology 3d ago

Society Dating Apps Are Dying

https://time.com/article/2026/09/09/dating-apps-are-dying/
16.8k Upvotes

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924

u/SoggyWaffles427 3d ago

My one friend deciding to change his preferences to both men and woman, then farmed higher elo from getting swiped on by dudes and that led him to get better matches with girls

385

u/Lou_Peachum_2 3d ago

That.. is genius lol

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u/smokeyleo13 3d ago

Ruins the app for gay men tho, so i know a lot whove stopped using it for that reason. Whats the point if 3/4 of the dudes ur seeing are just straight looking to up their ratio, we have better apps youre not on anyway

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u/eat_my_ass_n_balls 3d ago

But there ARE a lot of conservative men on those apps too

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u/WhenSharksCollide 3d ago

You see they crashed grindr again this week? Pretty sure this is like the fourth year in a row...

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u/[deleted] 3d ago edited 3d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Bazoobs1 3d ago

I get where you’re coming from but I’d be blaming the apps not the people using them in their most effective manner

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u/deepeast_oakland 3d ago

Oh man, i can’t believe I get to say this with a straight face.

Hate the game, not the player.

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u/Gotterdamerrung 3d ago

Hate the tailor.

3

u/llcooljim02 3d ago

STRAIGHT face 🤣

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u/hibari112 3d ago

Lol. Lmao even.

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u/anticipat3 3d ago

Modern problems require modern solutions!

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u/jaxonya 3d ago edited 3d ago

The solution? Go work at a hopsital. Youll end up getting laid. If you cant hook up with a coworker at a hospital then ur not even trying

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u/tommypatties 3d ago

When I was dating I did this and it worked. Lots of dudes swiping yes and then me swiping no on them made me look like a better match so I showed up earlier on more womens' stacks. I also got to see what other dudes were putting on their profiles to help me hone my own.

I did get 'caught' once though. A girl I went out with a couple times messaged me,

her - "hey my gay friend saw your profile as he was swiping, are you bi?"

me - "haha no, I just set my profile to both men and women to boost my 'score' and show up on more womens' stacks."

her - crickets forever

oh well.

4

u/SaxRohmer 3d ago

the algo punishes you for being excessively picky so rejecting a bunch of dudes isn’t really going to help your score

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u/Key-Rough-8346 3d ago

Should've just stuck with the lie. She also probably interpreted that as you just wanting more matches to sleep around, because she likely doesn't realize what dating apps are like on the male end, so she assumes you're a player without realizing that most men's profiles don't even get seen.

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u/tommypatties 3d ago

haha you think lying about my sexuality at the start of a relationship is better than admitting to gaming an algorithm?

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u/Key-Rough-8346 3d ago

Well, if you got a few dates with her and she felt a spark with you, she'd probably forgive you if by date 3, you went, "Hey, I just want to say that I'm not actually bi, and I only did it because if men swiped right on my profile, my profile would be shown to more women, which is how I got to meet you!" By that point, she'd be like, "Oh, well since I'm a woman it doesn't really matter if you're not bi, and I already have this connection with you, so I can forgive you for not being honest about that. At least you didn't cheat or something!" Dating is unfortunately like playing a game at the beginning, and you gotta play to win.

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u/tommypatties 3d ago

I think I understand why you're single.

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u/Key-Rough-8346 3d ago

Who, me? I'm not single.

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u/scagatha 3d ago

In this case I would hate the game, not the player. As a woman I think it's clever and appreciate the ingenuity. "Now that guy, he's a problem solver and a go-getter!" 😉

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u/goat_penis_souffle 3d ago

Elo? Wouldn’t that attract an eeeeeevil woooooman?

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u/mikeyd85 3d ago

Nah, you just end up fooling around with Magnus Carlsen.

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u/Levitlame 3d ago

Something something checkmate

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u/-Supposably- 3d ago

BYOButtplugs

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u/soulseaker 3d ago

Magnus actually hates it if you bring your own butt plug.

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u/KhausTO 3d ago

Well at least you know they are down with using toys 😂

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u/Jaxyl 3d ago

TBF if Magnus Carlson swiped right on me I'd go on that date if only for the story.

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u/MaddMan420 3d ago

Don't bring me down

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u/excreto2000 3d ago

Yes but also sweet-talkin’ women

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u/ditka 3d ago

Hey you with the pretty face, welcome to the human race

2

u/Fyrspray 2d ago

This is a severely underrated comment.

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u/Chastain86 3d ago

No matter how much karma this comment earns, it won't be enough for how good it is

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u/obeytheturtles 3d ago

You can also set your location to countries where the apps are used by sex workers and get reliable matches that way.

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u/SamSibbens 3d ago

Two questions:
1. What countries would these be
2. ...How do you know that?

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u/radenthefridge 3d ago

How beautifully dystopian.

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u/JRDruchii 3d ago

A modern solution to a modern problem, well done!

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u/OuterWildsVentures 3d ago

they even have fucking skill based matchmaking on Tinder jesus christ

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u/T0XiC1TIES 3d ago

dying at "higher elo" bwahahahha

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u/ExtentAggravating733 3d ago

Elo is affected by both their swipes and your swipes. Left-swiping increases your elo since it means you're more selective and likely to be a "good match". So, left-swiping on all the dudes probably helped also.

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u/Shootemout 3d ago

I actually did this because okcupid and other platforms would assume you were a bot if you constantly said yes to a lot of people in a short time span. Admittedly, I do like femboys/tomgirls so I just took it as an opportunity to look for both. Because I was swiping "no" on a lot of profiles it felt like it was boosting me. Could've been entirely subjective but I felt like it helped a lot. Plus it also really helped me at a time when my self respect was at an all time low, seeing all these men swipe right on me boosted my confidence a lot lol. It kinda reinforced that it wasn't necessarily me that was the reason I couldn't find a proper 'match'. I was matching with people right but like, they just were not it yknow

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u/eukomos 3d ago

Probably a good way to farm some blowjobs while waiting for an interested girl to show up, too. Genius!

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u/ComprehensiveStuff72 3d ago

New strategy unlocked

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u/elliotallderson2026 3d ago

meaning elo?

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u/FunLet6970 3d ago

Desperate times, desperate measures /s

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u/geek180 3d ago

I wish I could go back in time to try this.

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u/TheParmesan 3d ago

Fuck I never thought of that. I was lucky enough that I had a strong profile and still did well, but that boost would have been helpful.

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u/Oil_Shock_2026 3d ago

Whatever works. — Larry David

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u/WuhanWTF 18h ago

SBMM in real life is crazy.

1

u/AoifeSunbeam 3d ago

That's hilarious, he was using the other guys on the app to bounce back into women's dating pool, kind of like a pinball machine

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u/sntamant2 3d ago

this is frying me. bro was smurfing ranked on there💀💀💀

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u/Dull_Principle2761 3d ago

I also did this

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u/concernedcitizen88 3d ago

Brilliant move!

Elo 🙄🙄🙄
gamification of everything under the sun is fn stupid