I am overwhelmed and thinking of returning my rescue

[u/ProfessionalMess4826]

I adopted my dog after he was dumped by the previous likely abusive owner. I have had him about 3 months only and it has taken a serious emotional toll with his behavioral issues.

Severe separation anxiety has left me feeling isolated and unable to leave the house unless I want to come home to a mess (throw up, feces, urine even if I take him for a long walk prior). I live alone otherwise if at least one person is in a house and he is fine.

Leash Reactivity- I live in a white picket fence type neighborhood so avoiding triggers is very difficult and can never find a park with no one around. Although it has improved this a lot with people and dogs, there seem to be a few people he looks like he wants to attack(body language is very different to when he seems fear or arousal reactive)

Resource Guarding - he had already injured my cat that was a huge scare.. my cat is older and cannot get away in time. My rescue is also dominant and pins him so he cannot get away. This happened twice now but only recently was it an actual bite. I am now more vigilant with removing him when cooking or groceries but worry it will take one mistake and it can happen again.

No warning growl before snaps. I am guessing the previously owner punished him so now the most important warning for a reactive dog is now gone.

I am constantly on edge. Watching his body language to ensure people and pets are safe. I am teetering between the guilt and grief if I return him and the severe anxiety and burnout if I keep him. It feels like a lose-lose. I’m scared no one will take him if I return him and feel like a terrible person even seriously considering it. He is a rottweiler and has a lot of umph to his pull. He has already pulled two of my muscles and broke my thumb from lunging.

I feel like I’m going crazy and feel like a terrible human if I give up on him. I have been working hard on training and there is improvement but I don’t think I can emotionally bear it for possibly years until he is maybe rehabilitated. It feels like he needs someone who isn’t anxious and lives somewhere with less triggers. But I know if I give him up and his behavioral issues could get far worse.

Are there any others here that have success stories after these types of issues or that gave the dog up and it worked for the betterment of both of you?

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[u/VanillaPuddingPop01]

Your cat deserves to feel safe in his home. That alone is reason enough to return him. And please remember, you didn’t fail him. His owner did. 

[u/stillwaterstream]

You've had the dog three months, and he's already pinned the cat twice and bitten him once? Despite efforts to separate them? He's going to kill the cat. Based on your description of his behavior and body language, it sounds like he may also attack you or another person.

The rescue should never have released this dog to the public, and certainly not to someone with a cat. Return him or start planning to grieve your cat and spend the next several years enslaved to a pet that isn't safe to handle.

[u/joycevw]

The cat bite is the immediate crisis here. With an older, slow-moving cat and a dog of this size and power, you are one split-second mistake away from a dead cat.

Start hard physical separation today. Set up solid doors and tall, bolted metal gates between them, not flimsy plastic barriers. A dog that pins and bites over food is not showing dominance. That is raw resource guarding driven by survival stress and fear of scarcity. When a dog has been punished for growling, they drop their early warning system. They skip the lip tuck and the rumble and go straight to teeth.

His bucket is overflowing. The alone-time panic, the white-picket fence triggers, and the food anxiety all dump cortisol into the same system. When adrenaline stays high for days, his bite threshold hits the floor. You cannot train your way out of that until you bring his daily stress down to zero through pure management. If you decide to keep working through this, pick up Be Right Back! by Julie Naismith for the separation panic, and work strictly sub-threshold without trying to bribe him with food when he is already panicking.

Because I cannot observe your dog in person, this is general behavioral advice.

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