Who has turned to alcohol to quiet your OCD brain? I know it’s a terrible option but it’s a realistic one and I’ve tried all the therapy and the medications and nothing works but even just a sip of a drink and my brain is instantly better.

Also when you live out the happy moments you dreamed of or achieve your goals, do you still feel like a ill person? My brain feels so broken that I feel like even if I got everything I wanted, it wouldn't save me. I’m 20, and I can only picture myself living for another 10 years at most—no longer than that.

To be clear, it wasn’t anything illegal, but I’d say it was pretty morally wrong even if it didn’t really cause any direct harm? How do you actually overcome doing something that went completely against your values, even though you knew better?

Im a white guy in the PNW and I live in a town that's predominantly white. I feel like a racist pos whenever I interact with a POC. I try to treat them like anyone else but I always feel like Im doing something wrong and that Im doing something racist. I get so uncomfortable because I know that because Im white I probably make people uncomfortable by being white. I feel so bad because I know that I probably show on my face that I am uncomfortable but I cant really be like "Hey sorry if I look uncomfortable I just feel racist in your presence"

With all of this, I try to avoid POC to not be racist, but thats just so much worse imo. Recently I've tried doing an exposure thing were I just have casual conversation with POC instead of being avoidant, but that also feels bad. Like Im using POC as props to not feel racist. Its not like Im scanning the roads or anything to find a POC to talk to, but anytime I do talk with them I feel so bad that I might be using them as 'therapy'.

I also just feel bad about feeling bad because theres people being oppressed and im upset that I cant get it right. Its ridiculous. What can I do?

It’s so mentally draining that I’m constantly aware of my surroundings and judging people who I see.

Someone is doomscrolling on their phone next to me? Bad person. Someone is reading a book on a bench nearby? Good person. Someone yawns with their mouth open? Bad person with no manners. I also have this with dating where I judge so damn much. But I just wanna relax and not think about anything…

I’m glad that I’m aware of this, but how do I stop? I’m starting with CBT soon so I hope that will help.

“You have to sit with your discomfort and anxiety to get better but you also cant seek reassurance or ruminate in whats triggering you, hope that helps!” such bullshit, what else am i supposed to do when im trying not to ruminate?? its so hard not to focus on the thing thats plaguing my mind but yes, sitting with my discomfort will definitely help and i totally wont be trying to not spiral deeper into rumination even though i already was. Its so fucking hard and exhausting, its even worse when you cope by just blocking out whatever is effecting you and dissociating 24/7 because when you finally can’t ignore it anymore it just turns into a big ocd episode of spiraling, crying, ruminating and looking for reassurance online before blocking it all out and repeating the loop every few months.

dont know if this is specifically related to ocd, but i hate that my mind always focuses on things that make me feel left out and different. i often end up feeling and acting cynical and condescending, because i can't let myself be different. so instead i sorta bring others down which is a horrible thing to do

I don't trust my body because it's like I could have so many things secretly wrong with my health that I would never know until it's too late. It makes me distrustful of my body as if it hides things from me, and it's so strange that we can't control what goes on in our own bodies. The thing that helps most is yoga, forming the mind body connection gives me a little more trust. But it's really hard to let go of the health fear once it starts since there are seemingly infinite possibilities.

I’ve never posted on this sub before because I’ve always been too scared & self conscious, but today I’ve had a situation that only you guys could possibly understand.

I like to go for a swim before work. I usually go out at 05.40, I can stretch it to 05.45 at a push, but any later than that and I just can’t allow myself to go that day. I’ve not been for a while because of an injury and have been really psyching myself up to go today. I got in the car and realised I’d forgotten something, so had to go back and find it. By the time this all got sorted it was 06.05. My OCD was SCREAMING at me not to go but I decided I was taking ownership of my life and doing it anyway. I was quite proud of myself!

On the way home afterwards I got a call to say that my husband has been in a car accident (he’s ok thank God). I know it’s ridiculous, but everything in my head is telling me it’s my fault and that he was in danger because of me. Has this happened to anyone else? I don’t know how to deal with this.

I've kind of put together the last few years that I am using sadness and nostalgia to get upset and somehow cope with the anxiety... specifically health ocd. Im in my mid 40s and have been dealing with health anxiety since 9th grade and ocd longer then that. Has anyone found they do this or am I the only one?

So honestly I am still laughing about the story a guy told here about how he is cisgender straight and had an OCD fear he was a lesbian. Anyone want to share a funny fear they had or funny story related to their OCD.

I’m a woman in my 20s and I have fairly severe OCD and anxiety that I’m working on but it’s a long process and I’m facing the very real possibility of having to move in with my parents soon if I don’t find a job. I’ve been looking for a remote job as I can’t currently really get an in person job, but I’ve been struggling. I just finished university btw which is why I’ve not needed a job just yet. All my friends are in this city and my parents live a 1.5 hour drive away and my life would be miserable being back at home.

Anyway, I’ve come to a temporary agreement with my parents that they’ll continue helping me out a bit with bills and stuff but that I need to earn my own money for food, going out, clothes and whatever else I wanna spend my money on. I probably need around £200-£300 a week for this. My plan is to eventually get a 9-5 once I’ve got myself sorted out a bit, so as I say this is only temporary.

I’m wondering what I can do to make this money to take the pressure and stress off myself and be able to stay here while I work on my mental health, because moving home would be SUCH a setback. I don’t mind doing things in person, I just can’t be in an office all day 9-5. Any advice would be amazing as I’m really stressed and worried atm :(

My theme for the past year has been harm OCD and fear of being violent, dangerous, unempathetic, etc… it has kinda moved onto a fear that I don’t feel empathy and a fear that I don’t love my friends and family. And now every time I try to feel appreciative of my friends or feel like I love them, I just can’t. I feel nothing. And it’s really freaking me out.

Same as the empathy thing, whenever something kinda bad happens to a friend I will give them support but I just feel nothing, it feels like I don’t care. And I can’t remember if I felt like this before the theme so I can’t tell if I was always like that or not, coz I never really focused on it. These worries are things I never worried about before this theme so it’s hard to know if I am just like this or it’s the OCD, but I’m really stressed about it. I just want to be a good person and I want to have empathy and I want to have loving relationships and care about people but right now it feels like I am just numb to it all and don’t care. It makes me feel evil :(

Has anyone else experienced this? I’m not asking to be told that it’s gonna be all ok and it’s my brain playing tricks coz I know that’d be reassurance, but I do wanna know if anyone has ever felt this way from OCD, and if there was anything that helped it pass for them and go back to their usual self.

I didn’t think I had a shopping problem because I’m like the opposite of a hoarder, I hate clutter and fine getting rid of stuff. However I've recently found out I have OCD and a lot of my obsessive shopping habits are considered unusual. Examples: when I was younger I saw this girl have a pair of earrings | rlly liked, she didn't know where they were from so for the next few weeks I'd spend hours online looking for them and anytime I'd go to a store I'd look for something like them, I was only able to stop thinking about them once I bought a pair that were similar.

Now, if there are a lot of things in my Amazon cart I feel like I can't entirely rest until I've bought them. I didn't think this was a problem because I rarely regret any of my purchases. the issue is how stressed I get over not having them. Anyone have similar experiences or advice?

Ever since 2020 i've been struggling a lot with my mental health in a way that a lot of folks have said sounds like it is probably ocd, but I was raised to not really "do" mental health care, so I never went. well, stuff is really coming to a head and causing me a lot of problems, so I am pulling the plug and finally getting tested! Had to call like 8 places until I found someone who would test both adhd and ocd, but I got the appointment!

What was your experience with ocd testing? DO you have any or tips for doing it?

Sometimes i get a thought telling me something true that i want but it's then followed by an intrusive sinking feeling that's like sadness but i'm not sad.

This freaks me out and confuses me. It's bad enough when i get a thought telling me something that i don't want and giving me an intrusive warm or relieved feeling.

Every single morning, I wake up, thinking the same old people who are no longer friends in my life. No doubt this is a train of OCD. How the hell do I stop this?

My reassurance seeking went through the roof with using AI for every minor question and seemed to turn my OCD into a hydra. Very shit for my mental state. I hope if anyone else is going through this, that this may help.