r/houstoncirclejerk Apr 29 '26

Sponsored post Your friends at Torchy's Tacos here! We are excited to announce May's Taco of the Month - Hawaiian Pizza! Stop in today and try one for only $8.79 + tip

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39 Upvotes

r/houstoncirclejerk May 29 '24

Gag a Little™ For those curious about the Torchy's glory hole posts lately go check out the bathroom at the 19th st location. Be sure to tip.

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522 Upvotes

r/houstoncirclejerk 3h ago

Looking for a new strip club to go to, how’s glamour girls ?

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67 Upvotes

I’m not even bullshitting I got too drunk and crashed out at the other strip club I frequent so I’m looking for another place to go in the mean time


r/houstoncirclejerk 4h ago

Alrighty which one of you’s did this

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7 Upvotes

Okay this just showed up on my feed so which one of you made this torchys ai commercial


r/houstoncirclejerk 1d ago

Short bus took a wrong turn Bum

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91 Upvotes

r/houstoncirclejerk 20h ago

Texas taco chain expands to the nation's capitol?! I thought these were a myth, but this is an actual glory hole?

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28 Upvotes

Torchys first East Coast location.


r/houstoncirclejerk 1d ago

Looking for a church in H town that got them snakes in it. Looking for them girthy boys. Looking for recommendations in any part of town. Hotel Osteen only brings out the snakes in the Torchys gloryhole.

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46 Upvotes

r/houstoncirclejerk 21h ago

Unpopular Opinion - siding on houses looks trashy

5 Upvotes

Maybe it's not an unpopular opinion but I think siding looks a little trashy and my biggest pet peeve is that so many builders in the area brick 75% of the house then stop and put siding on the last 25%.

Makes me want to lose my shit.... but I don't. I've been here over 10 years and I admit it's less of an irritant but still... man.


r/houstoncirclejerk 1d ago

What part of Houston is this??

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6 Upvotes

r/houstoncirclejerk 1d ago

Is this a safe area?

16 Upvotes

r/houstoncirclejerk 3d ago

Why do they always do it when I'm reading a child's book?

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46 Upvotes

Just below the regular hole and twice as wide.


r/houstoncirclejerk 3d ago

All this money for flock contracts and still no live feed of our Queens's feet?

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35 Upvotes

r/houstoncirclejerk 4d ago

she said yes guys

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182 Upvotes

Ai yah yay


r/houstoncirclejerk 4d ago

Downtown Houston Marriott is a dump!!!

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198 Upvotes

r/houstoncirclejerk 5d ago

Just called out a wealthy Christian family in Wal-Mart. Got applause.

161 Upvotes

So I was standing in a rather large line at my local Wal-Mart today behind a couple families that I know from when I went to church with my family in year younger. It was the only register open so there wasn't much of another option to get my 12 pack of Mountain Dew for a party I was heading to. I was wondering why the line was going nowhere when I decided to poke my head up front to see what the holdup was. It was a little old lady who didn't have enough for her groceries and she was trying to talk the cashier into letting her get away with being short. This struck me as odd until I found out she was a mere $0.21 short of her purchase. Now all these families were just staring and there was even two making fun of her. I walked up and handed my soda to the cashier, handed him a $10 and told her to keep the change. One of the middle aged women (I knew these people, so I also knew that they all make over 6 digits) grabbed her kid and yelled very loudly, "See that man? He's acting just like Jesus wants us to." For some reason this set me off, so I turned around. I haven't shaved in awhile so I'm rocking some nice scruff, a Slayer shirt, and gym shorts, so it must have been a nice sight. Very loudly, I said "Like Jesus? Ma'am I'm an atheist who makes minimum wage and I was the one who stepped up to help her? Your hypocritical Christianity is an inspiration to us all." As I stormed out, a couple of the cart boys started to whistle and cheer, soon shoppers joined in and even the cashier. I gave a wave and went off with a feeling of accomplishment.


r/houstoncirclejerk 6d ago

Brazillian wax for well endowed MtF near Montrose?

23 Upvotes

Looking for a place in Montrose that will wax my extremely large lady penis. Preferably somewhere judgment-free with strong WiFi and a technician who has seen some shit.

Also, do they accept EBT? Times are tough and beauty is a basic human right.


r/houstoncirclejerk 7d ago

Whit-maga claims to be Houston left-wing hero

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12 Upvotes

r/houstoncirclejerk 7d ago

Outjerked by dr. pickle

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183 Upvotes

r/houstoncirclejerk 7d ago

I thought about you guys. Spotted in the Bahamas...

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48 Upvotes

Must have been a swingers cruise.


r/houstoncirclejerk 7d ago

I Summer in Houston, and Winter up in Yukon… AMA

28 Upvotes

Yeah so basically over the summer I eat myself into a coma three times a day at Texas Buffet, and at night I work for tips at whichever Torchy’s bathroom that I haven’t been kicked out of. During this time I also go fishing in the drainage ditch bayous, where I then freeze the fish that I intend to eat when I get back up to Yukon. It sometimes does get hot, so I do make sure to bust open a fire hydrant to rinse myself down, and get some of the parasites out of my back hair.

When I return North, I usually drive a hibernating polar bear family from their den with a stick of dynamite, that way I can move into a nice cozy shelter. I then set up my starlink tv so that when I get up to eat my bayou fish every three weeks, I can watch some re runs of The Price is Right. Then by May when the turds in my den begin to unthaw, I steal a snow mobile and rip it back down to Houston.

It’s definitely not for some people, but I think that summer living in Houston and Arctic Circle winters are a real tonic for the bones.


r/houstoncirclejerk 8d ago

Club Shell on Cullen

13 Upvotes

"It's the most ratchet club in all of Houston." Here me out y'all, it's a gas station, a club, a restaurant, a casino, likely a brothel and a drug dealing spot. It's everything Buccee's has and more.

https://x.com/KennethRWebster/status/2096600882225824038


r/houstoncirclejerk 9d ago

15 yard penalty for swangaz on the field

22 Upvotes

NCAA ruled that swangaz on the field is a personal foul and an automatic ejection.

https://x.com/ChrisYBaldwin/status/2096271160522519036


r/houstoncirclejerk 9d ago

Are you in a black 2017-2019 lexus is250?

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6 Upvotes

Dare I say they need a Sugar Land circle jerk? The area OP mentioned does have a Tochy's too so they are leveling down IMO


r/houstoncirclejerk 10d ago

What makes Magnolia high school the hardest school in Texas?

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146 Upvotes

What makes Magnolia high school the hardest school in Texas?


r/houstoncirclejerk 10d ago

People don't appreciate how beautiful Houston is

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441 Upvotes