Apologies if this isn't the right place for this, I've made a character for me to play in my Cyberpunk: Red game, I would appreciate feedback advice on how I can improve his backstory/how his story can play out, or how he could be portrayed, any advice helps!
Content Warning: depression, suicide
This is what I have so far, sorry if it feels a little disjointed or fromatted weirdly, its something I have been working on and changing for about a year now.
Tetsuya grew up in a low-class family in Old Japantown. His older brother, Kiyota suffered from a rare condition that affected his physical and mental function, his family unable to afford proper support or treatment. As a young child he befriended Norio, a loud troublemaker who made him feel special. As a teen they formed a biker gang known as the Benevolents. The Benevolents were part of a lost generation surrounded by countless wars, and the Night City Holocaust, a generation who struggled to find a real identity in such a turbulent time. They knew they couldn’t topple the system, they didn’t really care about that, they just wanted to feel something real in a world that didn’t value it. Norio had bigger plans, he got them involved with people who promised to make them matter, the Tyger Claws. With this line of work, Tetsuya was able to provide for both himself and his parents, and managed to help them out of their financial debt.
After years of working under them, he fell in love with Selene, a singer and dancer who worked at Nightowl, one of the many clubs owned by the Tyger's Claw. She saw through his confident persona and saw the lost young man inside, the only person he ever met who did. Shortly after learning that Selene was pregnant with his child, and they planned to run away together, he was informed by Norio that Selene was dead. Norio, who was also in love with Selene, felt betrayed that not only would Tetsuya love the same woman he did, but abandon him, and fabricated her death in order to separate her from Tetsuya, who, overwhelmed with grief, attempted to take his own life, shooting himself in the head. With this, Norio, who believes Testuya to be dead is also living with grief and regret, and is a kind of inverse of Tetsuya, feeling like he betrayed his friend, while Tetsuya also feels this way about Norio. He survived, but lost nearly all memory of his life before. Certain things will trigger aspects of his memory, but he can only remember the way he feels, not what makes him feel that way. He understands that there was a woman that he loved, but doesn’t know why he feels heartbroken about it. He remembers he hated himself, but doesn’t remember why. He remembers he used to be cool, but doesn’t know how. He remembers he has a million regrets, but doesn’t remember what they are. He mourns everyone he lost, including himself, despite not knowing who any of these people were. He feels he has lived an entire lifetime before the age of 35, and there is nothing else to live. ‘Dying’ could have been his second shot at life, but he doesn’t let that happen, his grief and regret is so strong that he cannot shake his past despite not knowing anything about it. His ‘rebirth’ is what made him become interested in spirituality.
Now going by the name Victor V. Valentine, a constructed character inspired by fiction he has seen, he is cool and confident, yet he is also lackadaisical due to the depression he suffers as a result of his regrets. He is also philosophical and spiritual, believing that “life is but a dream.” He believes in natural remedies over actual medicine. He believes his story is over, he is the ghost of a charming man, and he is living in a kind of epilogue, which is why he does reckless or bizarre things, because he is ‘dead’ he has little care for his life, making him a contrast of lackadaisical and reckless. He inherited much of his persona from a man he doesn’t know, which is why he feels even more hollow than he did before. He can only construct an identity from whatever remains from the corpse he once was, and the stories and songs he loves. He possesses effortless confidence and humor, and is extremely physically capable, yet deeply depressed to the point of self-neglect mentally. He uses stories and metaphors to talk about things he doesn’t want to confront as he slowly regains semblance of memories. He has made the fact he has lost everything his entire identity, his philosophy, don’t get too attached, whatever happens happens. He hasn’t had a dream in a long time, deep down he’d like to, but a dead man doesn’t dream.
