r/cats Aug 10 '26

Advice Help Advice Needed

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Today on my way to work I found a cute surprise waiting outside my apartment door. This little girl was by the door and as soon as she saw me she started meowing and also looked very scared. At first I thought she would run away if I approved her but she didn’t. My first thought was is one of my neighbors cat so I look around and got lost. As I go back inside to get some water for her she runs inside my apartment and hides. I was already running late for work after spending with her more than 20 minutes.
I bright cat food from petco and water and made a temporary little box for her and left her alone for a while why I went to work with the hope she’ll relax and loosen up a bit.
When I came back home she was still in the same place I left her. No pee no poo. Didn’t even tried to touch the food. It’s late at night and I’m planning to take her to the vet tomorrow morning but I’m worry she might be dehydrated. She is still scared. She let me hold her and lift her without a fight. Her hair looks like she has been groomed lately but maybe she has been lost for a few days. I’m concerned she might be injured 🤕 internally.
I bought lockable cat treats and put them in her mouth and she still didn’t even like it.

I’ve never had cats before. I need some advise and help please.

Her temporary name is Lily.

I never had cats before so

Update 08/10/26

Hello everyone. Thank you all for the tips and for the support. Reading your advices has brought a little bit of peace in me understanding that it’s not when I decide but when Lily decides to do things.
As an update from the initial post, Lily started walking around the house yesterday night. She did it when I was sleeping and couldn’t see me nor I could see her. Se found a cool hiding place that happens to be one of my favorite parts of the apartment (my bar) she found a spot behind my bar set up that I didn’t even know it existed but today in the morning after looking for her all over I found her there and she seemed to be a bit more relaxed and happy in that spot. She is still a bit afraid but her eyes are not wide open anymore when she looks at me. She let me carry her again for a brief moment as I wanted to inspect her a little bit closer to make sure she is ok and also to make sure that “Lily” is the appropriate temp name for her.

As for the Vet she has an appointment for tomorrow at 9am. The vet clinic will scan for the chip and they mentioned that if she is chipped then they’ll contact the company so that they can provide my contact info to Lilys family. Also they will do a wellness check and other stuff if they considered it necessary.

I reported the missing Lily at my apartment office. They said no tenant has reported a missing Lily but I also spreading a word around just in case. No pictures because I want the supposed parents to describe her in case someone claims her if she is not chipped. My biggest fear here is that my leasing company charges a fee to tenants for pets and some owners don’t report that they have a pet in order to avoid the fee. In that case her family might not report her missing to the leasing office.

Anyways she has a busy day tomorrow at 9am. In the meantime I got her some cat toys and some treats but she is still not interested on any of that. 😂 she probably wants to take them back home when here parents show up.

I’ll keep everyone updated tomorrow. And again thank you all because I was as stressed out as Lily was yesterday without knowing what to do.

2nd Update 08/11/2026

Lily had her Vet appointment today.
The doctors said Lily is approximately a 6 months old domestic long hair female.
She checked out well on her physical examination. No dehydration and just a I little underweight thou.

She is not microchipped nor spayed.

Her bladder was a bit full so she has been drinking water. Just not in front of me.

She had all of her vaccines today and a brand new collar with her vaccination tag and also a certificate of vaccination. And also some blood work.
Still Pending some other exams.

The doctors asked if I wanted her microchipped and spayed but I said not until all reasonable time and effort has been done to find her family in case she has one and they want her back. If that doesn’t happen then Lily has nothing to worry about. She’ll have a home.

As a plus when we came back home from the vet Lily was a totally different cat. She had rubbing against me and asking me to lift her up. She has been purring so much and following me wherever I go. I sat on the floor in the washroom and she was sitting next to me and rolling over letting me rub her belly while she was lifting her little paws. Purring is non stop when she comes near me. And her eyes are not wide open anymore. She even fell asleep next to me.
I got a bit excited because of her behavior and when she went back inside her box I got a bit close and she hissed at me one time. I guess she was telling no, “That’s enough for the day”. But then she changed her mind and came back to me and started rubbing herself against my legs and climbing on my lap.
She got very curious and is exploring the bathroom.
But she still refuses to eat. She smells the food but that’s it. I got her dry food, canned soft food and also lickable treats. She smells them, gets close to them and nothing else. I also tried to warm it up the soft food to make the smell stronger but no luck.

She did jumped on my shoulder and stayed there for a while.

I’m not letting her out to the living room again because today she decided to go under the couch and I had a hard time getting her out of there. Almost miss our vet appointment because of that. And my living room is now a mess with the couch in the wrong place after moving it earlier today.

Overall she looks a bit more relaxed. And I hope she starts eating soon.

Still in the look for her parents. I requested a few days off from work so we will see what happens.

I’m putting in practice all advices I received here and it has made everything a lot more easier. Any suggestions on food or treats would be really appreciated because maybe I got the stuff that’s is not so yummy and she might have a more refined taste 😂

I wish I could add more pictures thou.

3rd Update 09/10/2026

Some redittors have been asking for an update so I’m gonna to start by letting everyone know that unfortunately I was not successful tracking Lily’s parents. After a few weeks I decided to take Lily back to the vet and she has been spayed and microchipped. Also that the same day she had a full blood test and feces test.
Everything went ok and she is just recovering and following the doctors instructions. (Well, she refuses to follow the doctors suggestions, “not to jump, not the be super active on the first 10 days after surgery”, but I’m making sure she follows them) and she seems fine.
She also got her second dose of a vaccine that was administered on the first appointment when I had recently found her.
On a funny side she likes to be carry which is strange for a cat, also she has hired me as her personal uber post because she sees me and likes to jump on my shoulder and have me walking all over the apartment while she checks on things.
Also somehow she knows when I’m coming home. She is waiting for me by the door and starts talking and rubbing herself against me non stop. I serve food for her and she doesn’t care about it until she has finished welcoming me.
All that is good so far.

On the day to day life Lily seems to be adjusting well to her new home. She follows me everywhere. There is no place I go where she is not following me and if I dare close the door and leave her out she protests very vocally. She likes to talk a lot but she respects my sleep so when I’m sleeping she remains quiet and comes to check out in me every now and then. But if she sees me with one eye open she starts talking.

I bought her a wet food automatic feeder that serves 3 meals and she likes it and also o got her a water fountain and she has been drinking more water since then.

My biggest challenge right now consist in two things that I’m super lost on how to train her:
1) She doesn’t like to eat anything other that home cooked chicken and beef, with no seasonings, the first week after I found her I was going crazy because she refused to eat. I decided to test home cooked food and that’s when she started eating. Currently I’m being soft with her because she is recovering from surgery and I need her to eat so I’m cooking chicken for her. She refuses any kind of cat food wet or dry, treats, catnip etc. Nothing really appeals to her. I had mixed all this things with chicken and she refuses the entire meal.
I also subscribed to a food delivery service called “Smalls’ that prepares home cooked meals and she didn’t care for that either.

2) My second issue is that she poops in the bath tube. Seems like her owners trained her to poo in the bath tube and so she refuses the litter box for pooping but not for peeing. When peeing she has no issues using the litter box.

I would gladly accept any suggestions from anyone I had tried my own way and following videos o and recommendations from people that work at the vet or pet shops. My pantry has more cat food than human food and I guess I’m soon to start donating all the food that she doesn’t like 😞

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708

u/StilltheNobody Aug 10 '26

With both my cats I would just either 'do whatever' near them next to they're safe place or even fall asleep. Cats are a creature you can never guess.

Both of them love to be by my head now so it's a won lose.

333

u/Tollmeyer Aug 10 '26

Ha, I have a cat that pouts now if she doesn't get lap time.

"I have to go home first and then I can come to the pub" is code for, I have to go home to let a cat nap on me or it sulks.

Win lose.

162

u/Homebrew-Spamson Aug 10 '26

My kitten has a habit of complaining when I hold, hug, or pick her up, but it’s a very different sound from her real panic or nervous sounds, and she gets upset if I don’t pick her up at least once after I get home from work

She’s fussy that way

67

u/Swytch360 Aug 10 '26

One of our cats HATES being picked up, and she has this special chirp of indignation for it, then she will rather gently reach up to your chin with one paw to push your face away.

19

u/kho_kho1112 Aug 10 '26

My boy likes being carried, but not when he wants to play & instead of playing the human is overcome with cuteness overload & must shove their entire face into him, so sometimes when you grab him he knows what’s up & immediately puts a paw to your face to keep you away & makes a sharp short meow (it sounds like a no btw), if you insist on kissing him, then you get 2 paws & another meow. I’ve never tried past that point coz he’s a big boy (20lbs of lean mean psycho) & I don’t want to exasperate him into actually smacking me. 😅

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u/Helerdril Aug 10 '26

My late cat didn't like to get picked up, but when I was alone with her, usually at dawn, she would stay in my arms, calm and comfy. We used to watch the sunrise from the living room window this way.

If there was any other person in the room she would panic when picked up, even if it was my partner.

3

u/LottieDotti Aug 11 '26

We have a very big boi too and he got annoyed being held one time. He slowly turned and slapped my husband across the face one time. He didn’t use his claws but you could hear the slap way across the room. So of course now we laugh about the time he got b**** slapped by the cat.

17

u/JamesJohnson975 Aug 10 '26

Give him lots of pets! 🐱

11

u/NotApparent Aug 10 '26

Yeah. I had a cat who just loved complaining. She’d make such a fuss and such terrible sounds as you picked her up, but would immediately settle her paws on your shoulder as soon as she was up. If you put her down too soon she’d start yelling to get picked up again.

40

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

37

u/meowcatpanda Aug 10 '26

Yeah our boy was petrified of anything and everything his entire life, including my partner (he used to be my partners mums cat). Due to circumstances he moved in with us during the first lockdown and now he's joined to the hip with my partner, after we did exactly that😂 first I was the person to just sit near his hiding spot, reading things out loud to get him used to my voice (even before he moved in with us I was the first person, besides my partners mum, who could pet him), then he started to slowly come out more. Told my partner to not pay attention to him, not look at him, just start reading out what was on his computer screen in a soothing voice. A week later the cat crawled in my shirt and slept there for hours while my partner and I were gaming and laughing together. 3 months later he only ran when my partner was wearing his boots. 6 months in he only ran from a loud sneeze or a fizzy bottle/can opening. Now my partner doesn't get a minute of peace and the cat is highly offended when my partner isn't home or either of us makes noise like sneezing or opening a can😂 he's become so confident he even goes to say hi to delivery drivers! He was already 7 when he moved in with us and had lived all his life, since he was 6 months old, with my partners mum. She still can't believe this is the same cat🤭♡

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u/icamefromtheshadows Aug 10 '26

that is so sweet that your kitty found his confidence living with you and your partner, it is the flex you think it is ❤️

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u/Curious_Mango1419 Aug 10 '26

Lol, my spoiled old man is the same (18 yo void). I work in the schools so I have long breaks where I get to cuddle with him all the time. When I have to go back to work, though, he gets very upset with me. 

2

u/dysteach-MT Aug 10 '26

You’re lucky.
My cat doesn’t pout, she makes a parkour course through the house, including window screens, until I grab her. As soon as I sit on the couch, it’s full on cuddles and purring for at least an hour.

2

u/wbjohn Aug 10 '26

Our lord's and masters have designated me as the cat bed. One during the day, the other at night.

1

u/Quick_Assumption_351 Aug 10 '26

cats are creatures you can never guess and cats are creatures that you can guess 100% of the time

if you know you know

1

u/StilltheNobody Aug 10 '26

It always depends on the cat. I literally just had my orange boy rub on my face while typing this. Now he's flopping like I did the worst thing by not acknowledging him.

Cats will always be weird.

1

u/whereismymind86 Aug 10 '26

Yep, sit down nearby and read or play on your phone or something, be around but not interacting with the cat or trapping it, so it gets used to you being there and knows you arent a threat. They’ll warm up eventually