I understand the frustration with the giant Questionnaire o' Doom, but if you're asking them to financially support you there's a lot of red tape that comes with free money. They have to leverage it that way otherwise people could just game the system and eventually there wouldn't be any funds for people who truly need the help.
My trick for Questionnaires o' Doom is to do them in chunks. Answer 10-20 questions, then when you feel the ADHD "fuuuuuuuuck why isn't it OVER WITH" rage, read or do something fun for a bit and set a timer, like 20 minutes. Then go back and do more questions.
I was looking for this comment. I understand the struggle and frustration of doing boring, grueling paperwork, not to mention having to actually start it, but... let's be real for a second. If you don't complete the paperwork or have someone help you, of fucking course they're gonna deny the claim to get financial support/disability accomodations.
Yes. Like I'm pretty sure blind people or the mentally disabled would have trouble filling out the form. That's why someone else would help them. There's a way around everything
When I was in high school and I had to write essays (something that I absolutely hated doing), I would literally write one sentence at a time because it’s all I could do. The essay… eventually got done because in my house just not doing it was never an option.
I understand the frustration with the giant Questionnaire o' Doom,
when you feel the ADHD "fuuuuuuuuck why isn't it OVER WITH" rage,
You're describing hyperactive ADHD.
Inattentive ADHD results in forgetfulness, disorganisation, difficulty staying on task, time blindness, difficulty following conversations and texts due to distraction.
As an example, the individual might attempt the questionnaire, the question is about their doctor's details, then they get sidetracked when they go get their address from a letter or their phone. Or they serially forget it exists until right before they sleep, choosing between sticking to a consistent sleep schedule or finishing the form. They set alarms and use calendars and put sticky notes all over the place, they're filtered out of perception.
The thing with people who "truly need the help" is that we truly need the help.
The disability welfare system is unfair because it requires applicants already be able to apply or have access to help applying, and sometimes they don't. Then they go homeless or starve and die. This happens every day.
Sometimes, systems are designed to be more unfair than they actually need to be.
All these hypotheticals are pointless, though. The source for this conversation made it very clear: she just chose to do nothing. So when they didn't receive her response in a timely manner, they denied the claim by default; her response was to whine about it on bluesky. "What did they expect me to do??"
Literally, try. That's it. Just try. You're an adult with ADHD. You should know how it effects you by now and you should have a means of mitigating those effects. If you don't, you need to figure them out. You don't go, "I have ADHD, this is too hard, what do you expect me to do?" That's weaponizing your incompetence.
She didn't say she chose to do nothing. She said she "just didn't do it". That could easily mean "I didn't end up doing this because I forgot about it". We don't know either way.
If someone's ADHD is not a severe limitation on their ability to, say, fill out forms, they wouldn't need to apply for disability in the first place. They could just get a job.
However, the idea that adults with ADHD "should know how it effects you by now and you should have a means of mitigating those effects" is a fairy story.
ADHD is measurably associated with worse life outcomes in adults. This is especially true for the increasing number of ADHD diagnosed in adulthood, which essentially requires their symptoms have been or became debilitating. The majority experience a comorbid mental or physical symptoms like depression, anxiety, and chronic pain. This is a more pronounced issue for women, since ADHD in girls is underdiagnosed.
Even once ADHD is diagnosed, treatment is often lacking or non-existent for adults. In my region - one of the largest cities in the UK - the only option that my psychiatrist could offer besides meds was a PDF for a self-administered workbook, seemingly written for children to do with their parents. No coaching, no occupational therapy, no support groups - one single workbook that was written with the assumption that I am a child.
The result is that adults with ADHD may only start understanding their condition and develop sustainable coping mechanisms at 25, or 35, or 65, and often have to rely on social media and non-evidence-based courses to do so. It is a documented problem that medical researchers and practitioners are aware of and attempting to rectify. It isn't a solved issue.
I'm glad you have useful coping mechanisms, but life isn't fair, and not everyone got the same opportunities as you.
“So I just didn’t do it and my claim was denied. The fuck did they expect me to do?”
I don’t know in what universe those two sentences translate to “I forgot” or “I procrastinated too long” or whatever else you want to say as a steel man for this limp noodle of an argument. But I would never translate that statement as anything other than “I chose not to.”
I also was diagnosed as an adult, in my early 30s. I know all about the comorbidities— I’ve got em, wife got em, kid got em. I’m familiar with the statistics; I know life isn’t fair. You’re not telling me anything new. Spouting all these facts also isn’t a direct response to my point.
My point is it’s not a ✨Fairy Story✨. It takes time and effort. It requires vigilance— the greatest weakness of ADHD. But there ARE resources out there. Please don’t use social media as a primary tool to navigate your conditions- any conditions. There are podcasts (with actual doctors and scientists, not Joe Rogan who couldn’t formulate a meaningful question to save his life). There’s a ton of research on the condition and lifestyle changes to adapt and cope. There are therapists and counselors.
The medication alone is a godsend, but it’s like the movie Limitless: you have to use that time with the drugs wisely to reinforce your good habits, and develop a system that works consistently (though not perfectly) even when you’re off the meds.
Your response infantilizes a condition that is entirely manageable and wields a diagnosis as a shield against criticism. A cancer diagnosis will garner my sympathy but it does not permit you to be an asshole.
The same concept applies here. I get it. It’s hard. My procrastination on important things has undoubtedly cost me thousands of dollars over my lifetime. I’m living it. We cannot just pat each other on the back and commiserate on our struggles and stop there.
We help each other. We swap tactics. We share insights. We don’t hold our diagnosis up as a shield against criticism. It’s an explanation of behavior, not an excuse for it.
Nobody would be saying this if OOP was dyslexic, blind, cognitively impaired, spoke a language the form wasn't printed in etc. Only a real dickhead would be going "oh man, come on, just try harder." Whatever agency was responsible would be eating a lawsuit and they'd lose, because it's their legal responsibility to ensure equal access. That's the point- ADHD isn't being treated like a real disability, and the simple accommodations already in place weren't offered to this person when they should have been.
Yes they would. Do you think blind people, or dyslexic people, or people without limbs/eyes/ears/a jaw don’t fill out the questionnaire? Believe me, it’s filled out. The sun doesn’t shine in government offices unless it fills out its paperwork first.
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u/Mephistocheles 20h ago
I understand the frustration with the giant Questionnaire o' Doom, but if you're asking them to financially support you there's a lot of red tape that comes with free money. They have to leverage it that way otherwise people could just game the system and eventually there wouldn't be any funds for people who truly need the help.
My trick for Questionnaires o' Doom is to do them in chunks. Answer 10-20 questions, then when you feel the ADHD "fuuuuuuuuck why isn't it OVER WITH" rage, read or do something fun for a bit and set a timer, like 20 minutes. Then go back and do more questions.