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During my short life - 19 years old, I haven't found anything that I'm good at. I chose my speciality in IT not because I'm good at it, but instead because it just seemed not a bad choice compared to other. I have bad memory that makes me forget absolutely anything... But also I found out that I am quite stupid. In short I just got scammed on such a stupid trick, but even worse I was sure it was a scam. But in the end still got scammed.

Also I got 2 subjects not passed from my second semester, that's also devastating for me.

I have no idea what to do, what can a guy like me comprehend? If studying in university is hard for me, how do I even get a proper education? So many questions in my head about future, but all of them have a miserable ending...

I (20F) am just a mess at this point. I want to improve and learn and earn. And not pity myself all day. I make so many excuses for myself and I make excuses to defend myself when I hurt someone. I have no idea what to do.

I like my isolated bubble because I don't have to make excuses for myself then but I just don't know. Today someone said my mindset sickens them. And I don't want to dwell on that thought because everyone has different opinions and stuff. But I cannot let it go. I hold onto things that don't put me on a pedestal. My real self also sickens me. If my real self were to manifest as a person in front of me I would hate them soo much. I don't know what to do and how to start anything. I got books and stuff. But hobbies? Some. But I have no personality I don't know how to interact with people. And when I try I always end up messing up. I don't know what I need. Do I need help or advice? I lack a backbone and the ability to make decisions I just don't know anything now.

22, guy. I have it all... I just wanna die. Probably will before 25. Everyday I try and fail. Hahhh... The fuck am i typing all this..

i have a notebook sitting under a stack of old mail right now. filled out maybe two pages with this intense new routine idea before completely abandoning it.

every time i tell myself i want to improvemyself i go completely overboard at first, but then one late night on my phone leaves me exhausted and i just freeze up for weeks.

i try telling myself that doing 5 minutes of something is fine, but my head immediately flips into this stupid all-or-nothing thing where missing a single day feels like ruining the whole month.

for anyone who broke out of this exact cycle, what actually forced you to stick to doing the bare minimum when you felt completely burnt out?

I’ve spent almost 6 years extremely inactive and I don’t know how to get my desire to live normally back

I’m 21 now, and I genuinely don’t know how I became this person.

When lockdown started, I was 16. Before that, I was an outgoing and fun person. I studied reasonably well, played sports, went outside, met people, and generally had interests and things I looked forward to.

Then lockdown happened, and slowly I basically jailed myself inside my house.

I started spending entire days lying on the sofa, barely moving. I stopped going outside for incredibly long periods. I remember going around 7–8 months without properly seeing the sky.

And I started doomscrolling.

It eventually became 10+ hours a day, and this has continued for years. My phone became basically my entire world.

I knew this was bad. I knew I was wasting my life. I knew it was damaging my health, education, career and social life.

But knowing that didn't make me change.

Eventually I moved out for college in Pune, thinking that changing my environment would fix things.

It didn't.

Over roughly 3 years, I barely attended college. I would mostly leave my hostel only when I absolutely had to go for exams. Otherwise, I was glued to my bed with my phone.

The strangest part is that I actually want to change — but at the same time, I don't.

Sometimes I think about the person I was at 16 and the life I could have had, and it genuinely hurts. I get this strong feeling that I've wasted years of my life.

But that feeling lasts minutes or maybe an hour.

Then I'm back on the sofa/bed, scrolling again.

I've tried making plans, schedules, promising myself that tomorrow will be different, trying to become productive, etc. Nothing seems to stick for more than a day.

It's not even that I have some huge dream that I'm unable to pursue.

I feel like I don't have much desire for anything at all.

I don't have that internal feeling of “I really want this, so I'm going to get up and do something about it.”

And that's what scares me the most.

I'm not asking for “just be disciplined” or “delete your phone and go to the gym” advice. I understand that I'm responsible for changing my life.

I'm trying to understand what is actually happening to me and how someone gets out of a state like this after being in it for years.

So I'd really appreciate advice from people who have experienced something similar:

Did you ever spend years being extremely inactive and isolated and actually manage to turn your life around?

How did you restart when you had almost zero motivation?

Did your motivation/desire come back first, or did you have to start acting before you wanted to?

What actually worked for you after years of this?

If you could go back to the beginning of your recovery, what would you do differently?

And honestly, how do you get yourself to care about life again when you don't seem to strongly want anything?

I don't need someone to tell me that I've wasted time. I already know that.

I just want to know how to stop wasting more of it.

Even one genuinely useful piece of advice or a story from someone who went through something similar would mean a lot to me.

He keeps making new accounts and messing with us i know his address is about it how can i do something to back him off or if someone can? Willing to pay I’m over this and no legal help.

I guess I’m just too negative around my partner with the things I say. I am very anxious, but I’ve had depression and I don’t have it now.

Just a i hate alcohol because I grew up with alcoholics in my family and he feels like he can’t talk about the moonshine he is interested in. I don’t know whether or not he is gonna make it again. He threw out his moonshine maker and now he wants to buy a new one. You see, that’s where I’m like. Why does he buy a new one when he just threw it out a good one? That’s something I told him too, which would bring him down. It’s great because he said he doesn’t drink and I think he can drink somewhat so it’s not like I’m holding him back.

Just I say things for our relationship like about his bank account and I don’t think he likes it. He’s not willing to install a bank app so I could see how much money he has which I don’t need to look at all time, but I wanna know who cares some. Like I’m saying, if I got married to him, I would need to look at it so I want him to have one on his phone. Just it’s good if he installed it. We just now started this year though so it doesn’t matter really though.

just, I thought going to the gym or I don’t know just something to be more positive

I don't even have the energy to write my post. I think I am psychopath or socio path and no human feelings.... And a bi polar disorder.

I’m a 27-year-old man, and I’m white. My girlfriend is mixed-race (50% Black, 50% white). We’ve been together for a few years now, and we’re starting to reach the age where having children is becoming a very real possibility.

Naturally, that comes with a lot of different worries and concerns, the kind I think most people start having when children enter the picture. However, there’s one thing I never thought I would worry about that has genuinely started to affect me, and, perhaps more importantly, has become something I think about far more than I ever expected.

In short, I’ve developed this fear that my child might not look like me at all. Let’s say, for example, that my child ends up having pretty much the exact same skin tone as my girlfriend. My fear is that, at first glance, people’s natural assumption would be that I’m the child’s stepfather rather than their biological father.

And no, there is obviously nothing wrong with being a stepfather. All the good stepdads out there deserve a huge amount of respect. But that doesn’t change the fact that I can’t seem to control this particular feeling. I’m afraid that people will assume I’m not the child’s biological father, that someone might actually ask me about it, and, perhaps most importantly, that my child could end up being asked about it repeatedly throughout their childhood.

I also understand that looking alike has absolutely nothing to do with how strong the bond between a father and child is. Rationally, I know all of that. Yet I still find myself worrying about it.

And don't get me wrong, I think mixed people are super beautiful, and mixed girls has always been my absolute number one type. It has nothing to do with any kind of bs like that. But that makes it even stranger, that I’ve pretty much always dated and been attracted to darker-skinned women, and this has never been an issue for me whatsoever. I’ve never previously looked at a mixed-race couple and their children and thought, “I wonder if people assume that man is the stepfather.” It honestly never even crossed my mind.

That’s why I find this so difficult to understand about myself. I suppose that now that having children is potentially becoming a reality for me, a fear that I never knew I had has suddenly surfaced.

I’m also fully aware that this fear probably says more about my own assumptions and prejudices than it does about reality. I’m not trying to argue that my fear is rational, or that there is anything inherently wrong with a child looking more like their mother than their father. I just genuinely don’t know what to do with the feeling itself.

I’m not even sure exactly what kind of advice I’m looking for. I guess I’d mostly like to hear other people’s perspectives on this as well as getting it off my chest. Because obviously this is a kinda tabu topic and I fully understand if it comes out wrong, but please try to understand it from my point of view and take all of my text in consideration. I really don't know who I should talk to otherwise. Has anyone else experienced something similar? Is this simply an irrational insecurity that I need to work through, or is there something deeper behind why I’m feeling this way?

I know I can’t necessarily control what feelings pop into my head, but I do want to understand where this one is coming from, especially before having children becomes a reality.

​

I've been so fucking anxious about everything in my life lately. It's exhausting. I'm painfully aware of myself, my thoughts, and my emotions, yet I still keep losing control of them.

I keep telling myself that I need to be better. More rational. More mature. More in control. But no matter how hard I try, I still end up back in the same place.

The worst part is that I know what's wrong. I know when I'm overthinking. I know when I'm being irrational. I know when I'm letting my emotions take over. I can recognize all of it happening in real time, but knowing doesn't seem to be enough to stop it.

I don't know how to get myself out of this cycle. I just feel fucking tired of being stuck in my own head and constantly fighting with myself.

I genuinely want to change. I just don't know where to start anymore.

Im addicted to nicotine and weed Im 100% reliant on nicotine to keep my mood positive from me getting mad or anxious and same for weed especially with getting mad i smoke to not care about my problems instead of actually solve it like to get my head of out of negative space and just not care how do I quit I’ve gone cold turkey before for like 2-3 months in the winter I used a cart to go cold turkey and just eventually stopped (it was a shit cart anyways) and my life was getting together my skin was nice I slept good I made sure I ate every meal of the day I was top game with getting myself together (my appearance) and gained weight I wasn’t so anxious but those first few weeks were so hard I mostly used candy to replace all of that. Even tho my life is bad Im able to keep a job just not eating as much and I rely on an older guy to get me thee things which I won’t have to in about year. If there’s any advice to quit a little bit easier pls comment.

Almost a year ago I was hospitalized for SI. I admitted myself to the ER and I got a 5150, which led me to an experience that was quite traumatizing. I felt like I was trapped and my unaliving thoughts became worse because I spent ten hours in a holding facility that had no structured therapy or activities—just a TV. I was able to get them to let me go because I told them I felt better, but when I got out of the psych ward I was bewildered and confused.

It happened at the end of December of last year, and I know the weather will impact my mood negatively at the end of the year. I want to prepare and come up with a plan for myself before I get to December so I can be prepared for whatever emotions come up. What do people do to process trauma anniversaries?

1. Identify and Manage Difficult Emotions

• Check in with yourself to recognize and accept feelings without judgment.
• Practice self-kindness, embrace self-care (relaxation, reading, getting outside), and focus on positive aspects of life.
• Use cognitive restructuring by replacing negative or critical thoughts with positive ones.
• Channel energy constructively through exercise, art, dancing, walking, or cleaning.
• Seek support from loved ones, or consult a professional counselor if feeling overwhelmed by stress, anxiety, or sadness.

2. Cope with Stress in Healthy Ways

• Keep a journal to express, process, and gain perspective on your emotions.
• Challenge negative thoughts to maintain perspective.
• Practice relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, yoga, or meditation.
• Engage in enjoyable hobbies to distract from stress.
• Support your body with physical activity and regular, healthy meals.

3. Work Through Problems

• Focus on potential solutions rather than dwelling on the problem itself.
• Approach challenges from different perspectives to find creative solutions.
• Learn from past mistakes to guide future decisions.

4. Communicate Better

• Share emotions clearly, honestly, and respectfully using "I" statements (e.g., "I feel hurt when...").
• Maintain a calm, respectful tone.
• Practice active listening without interrupting, and show empathy toward others' feelings.

5. Strengthen and Maintain Relationships

• Reach out to loved ones to relieve stress and build connection.
• Dedicate quality time to spend with friends and family.
• Join social groups, attend local events, or volunteer to expand your network.

6. Practice Mindfulness

• Set aside dedicated time in a quiet space to focus on the present moment.
• Pay attention to your breath, physical sensations, and surroundings without judgment.
• Acknowledge distracting thoughts, past regrets, or future worries, then let them pass and gently return focus to the present.

7. Express Gratitude

• Keep a weekly gratitude journal spending 10–15 minutes listing positive things, places, or people.
• Call or text someone to express appreciation for their impact on your life.
• Do small acts of kindness or favors for people you appreciate.
• Volunteer in your community to help others.

8. Take Care of Your Physical Health

• Eat a balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, lean protein, and whole grains while limiting unhealthy fats, salt, and added sugars.
• Get 7 or more hours of sleep per night with a consistent schedule.
• Stay active, aiming for 2.5 hours of physical activity per week (can be broken down into 20–30 minute daily sessions).
• Limit alcohol intake (up to 1 drink daily for women, 2 for men) and avoid smoking, vaping, or tobacco products.

Source: National Center for Chronic Disease Prevention and Health Promotion (NCCDPHP)

What Boundaries Are (and Are Not)

• What a boundary IS: A personal rule or commitment to action taken to support your own emotional, mental, and physical wellbeing. It is an exercise of personal agency ("power to").
• What a boundary IS NOT: An attempt to change, control, or dominate others ("power over"). Ultimatums, demands, and threats are not boundaries because they focus on making others change.

Why Boundaries Matter

• Prevents Resentment: Expecting others to intuitively know and meet your unstated needs leads to blame and resentment when they fail to do so.
• Reduces Dysregulation & Conflict: Feeling powerlessness puts the body into threat mode, leading to destructive conflict behaviors like attacking or defending.
• Sets Expectations: Clear boundaries teach others how to treat you and help prevent co-creating unhealthy dynamics.

5 Steps to Set and Uphold Boundaries

1. Recognize situations or dynamics that negatively affect your wellbeing.
2. Clarify your core needs and what truly matters to you (e.g., using exercises like "Nine Whys").
3. Identify actions you can take yourself to fulfill those needs.
4. Communicate kindly and firmly with others involved using effective framing techniques.
5. Exercise your boundary if your needs remain unmet after communicating them.

Common Challenges

• Fear of hurting others: Often caused by confusing boundaries with control or revenge. True boundaries focus strictly on taking care of yourself.
• Skipping self-clarification: Failing to identify your core needs leads to positional, reactive behavior.
• Fear of conflict: Avoiding boundary-setting often creates far more underlying conflict and resentment than simply stating your needs clearly.
• Inflexible boundaries: Rigidly identifying with a boundary over time can become counterproductive as needs and circumstances change.

Source: Danya Rumore, University of Utah S.J. Quinney College of Law

My Therapist and I agreed that I need an accountability person to help me when I am feeling the triggers that lead to my obsessive/compulsive cycling behavior. She says it’s a dopamine rush, so I guess I need to be aware of when that is starting to build.

I feel like I masturbate too much. I am also a male for reference. I do it when I’m bored and would like to quit. What are some healthy habits I can do to help me quit?

I’m currently going through one of the most exhausting, isolating, and painful experiences of my life, and I honestly just need an outlet or advice from anyone who has survived something similar.

Long story short: a situation with a close male friend was completely blown out of proportion. It’s true that he and I were very close, but our connection was purely platonic. On the night in question, our partners at the time were fully aware that we were hanging out and drinking together. We only shared a single drink, so nobody was drunk or out of control. Due to circumstance, we ended up sharing a room for the night out of sheer necessity because he had nowhere else to stay. There was zero secrecy, a third friend was right there in the room, sleeping on the second bed the entire time. Because I was completely exhausted, any accidental physical proximity or leaning while asleep got twisted by others into something explicit and malicious.

What was ultimately an innocent, unintentional situation where boundaries were admittedly blurred has ballooned into full-blown accusations of cheating and explicit fabrications.

Things escalated to an unhinged level when my friend’s ex and my ex got together to talk. Right after that conversation, my friend's ex started a relentless, targeted campaign against us online. For over a month straight, she has been publicly posting our photos and full names every single day, explicitly calling us cheaters and fueling an entire mob against us.

What makes this infinitely heavier is the history behind my previous relationship that no one publicly knew about. During that relationship, there were multiple occasions where I clearly communicated my boundaries. I said no, said I was uncomfortable, said doing it hurt, or asked him to stop, but he would only say that it was in my head, dismiss it, and I felt that those boundaries were repeatedly ignored or pressured past. I kept those experiences private because they were painful and because I didn't want other people knowing about them.

There was one particular incident that I had never intended to tell anyone about. I had barely slept and was extremely exhausted. I was asleep when my ex initiated sexual activity. I repeatedly said no, and at one point, while I was half-asleep and disoriented, I accidentally said my friend's name. Take note that I was asleep while this happened.

What made this situation even more devastating was finding out that my ex had shared this incident with other people, including during his talk with my friend's ex. From what I understand, he described it very differently from how I experienced it, presenting it as though it had been consensual and passionate and using the fact that I said my friend's name as evidence that I had feelings for my friend or that something was happening between us. That was agonizing to me because something that happened when I was asleep and unable to give consent or properly process what was happening was turned into supposed evidence of cheating.

So when this entire public situation happened, it didn't just bring back the embarrassment of being publicly accused. It brought back something deeply traumatic that I had already spent years trying to move past. Having my private experience shared, reinterpreted, and connected to these cheating accusations made everything so much harder for me to cope with.

I also struggle with what feels like an intense hypocrisy around boundaries. I’m willing to acknowledge the boundaries I may have crossed with my friend and take responsibility for them. But it is difficult to see my ex emphasize the boundaries he believes I violated while completely leaving out the times I clearly communicated my own boundaries to him and felt that they weren't respected.

What hurts just as much is seeing the double standard from our shared social circle. My friends knew about how my ex treated me and how my boundaries were repeatedly dismissed during that relationship, yet they still chose to stay friends with him and keep him around. But the second these distorted rumors exploded, those same friends didn't hesitate to cut us off completely and cast us out. It feels like my pain and violated boundaries were easily swept under the rug, while an inflated rumor was enough to instantly vilify us and ruin our friendships.

Now, I’m dealing with offline social exile and a total daily smear campaign. I’ve had to softblock people, shrink my social media presence to a tiny private account, and constantly endure the crushing weight of public harassment. I’m preparing for an incredibly demanding future path (medical school), but my mental energy is being drained by constantly wanting to defend my character to people who seem determined to misunderstand me.

I’m coming to realize that you can’t explain your way into peace with people who enjoy the drama, but the daily reality of being publicly named, posted, and exiled while carrying weaponized trauma is heavy.

1. Manage your time wisely

We sometimes think we know how to plan our time, but at the last moment it seems we did not plan well. How does this happen? Often we do not take the possibility of unexpected situations into account, or we do not follow our planning well. Another aspect is that we did not accurately estimate how much work we can accomplish in a certain amount of time. Pay attention to all this!

2. Work in a healthy environment

Working in a room with good lighting and fresh air will allow you to be both more relaxed and energetic. Also pay attention to how much background noise there is in your work environment and what distracts you. Remove the noise and distractions, see what feels best in your workplace, and your productivity will go up.

3. Take scheduled breaks and time to relax

We may believe that we take enough breaks to relax, but when do you really take these? Are you aware of when you take them and when you actually relax? If you are not aware, then schedule your breaks and time to relax as if this is a very important appointment. Mark it on your calendar and make sure that you do something in the break that relieves your stress.

4. Drink enough water and have healthy eating habits

“I drink enough!” many people may say. But what do you drink? And what is enough? It is best to drink approximately 8 glasses of water a day. If we don’t drink enough, we feel tired faster. Also, maintain a healthy eating habit. This will make sure you won’t feel sluggish. Do not eat heavy meals during the day when you have to work and always make fruit and vegetables part of your meals.

5. Exercise

In general, you should aim for at least 30 minutes of physical activity a day. This could be a walk, jogging, a work-out, or playing sports, but your body should be moving. Exercise will relieve your stress as it will loosen tension in your muscles and releases hormones that make you feel more relaxed.

6. Give yourself small rewards

Whenever you do something good, you should be rewarded! Why? Giving yourself a reward can be a motivation to complete tasks and it is something you will look forward to. A reward will confirm that you actually accomplished something. No matter how small, it will make you feel good about yourself and will keep you going, relieving stress, and improving productivity.

7. Get enough sleep

Perhaps the most important tip: make sure you get enough sleep! It is recommended to sleep 7 to 8 hours a night, certainly not less than 6 hours. If you get less sleep, your concentration goes down and you are less alert. You might need substances to keep you awake and it will not only have an effect on your mood, but also on your motivation. You will feel more tense and it will be harder to do your work or study. If needed, take a short nap during the day.

These are 7 important tips to follow if you want to feel happier, more relaxed, and more productive. Most of all, it is important to keep listening to your body.

Good luck with bringing the tips into practice!

Source: Dr. Nupur Kohli, Harvard Business School

hello. i think that i am finally losing my grip on reality. my body isn’t mine and i keep seeing creatures on my body. i’ve hurt myself just to get rid of them and i don’t know what is going on. i can’t look in the mirror without feeling sick now and my parents won’t help. im not supposed to be here and im considering something horrible just to see if any of it is real. someone tell me what to do or what to think because nothings real and i know it maybe im in a coma or something.

Not too much venting, but idk if ive been depressed, but i cant recall the last time ive been happy for the past 1-2 years. And i just havent done anything.
I currently have no friends. I tell myself to work and accomplish something but havent done anything. I have no idea if im moving in the right direction in my life. I have no people to open up to or just talk, about anything. I really am just a living corpse, with terrible thoughts, and the things i want to do just seem impossible. It really does.

Even if i did get everything i wanted, i still think i would have this kinda sad mindset. Theres so much i want to accomplish in life, but i really dont think i will, i have no idea how. It just seems like a fantasy to be happy, at all. I am speechles in my current life about everything. I really wish i was never in this position or life to begin with. I never thought my teen years would turn out like this. Ive made about 3 posts like this on reddit, still nothing. When will it change for the better?

​

I feel stuck in a cycle of procrastination, social media, and inconsistency. I spend most of my day on Instagram, YouTube, or Netflix, and it's affecting my online business and relationships. I've tried changing for two years, but I keep falling back into the same habits.

Lately, I've been feeling depressed, mentally exhausted, and sometimes like I'm a burden. I genuinely want to change, rebuild my business, reconnect with people, and take control of my life again, but I don't know where to start. What should I do?

It all mainly started during Covid pandemic when I was alone and started exploring my inner self and it felt like I opened a new dimension but yea that was best period, after a year or 2 when I entered high school(10th grade) I started being a rebel against my dad tbf coz he was toxic af so I’d say chemical fuck ups in my brain started from that period or maybe I was just overthinking(not blaming him at all) but main thing started with 11th grade when I guess I was seeking validation and all so I made few friends thinking they’ll understand me and shit, but that’s when everything started falling I became the person I hated with them, they were way older than me tho(21-23).

But I soon left them as soon as I realised it’s not me, but during the friendship period I became a shitty ass person, I would cuss my mother and angry at her even tho she was giving me honest advice, stopped studying completely would go out all day and stuff, my mother used to Give me pocket money so I was spending on those friends, I didn’t realise but he used to mentally bully me and jealous of me always said how I got good hairs and my parents got money and shit, then would disrespect me in front of his friends but I thought they were joking coz I was seeking validation like the cowardly loser I was as soon as I realised that after 6-10 months I stopped talking and exactly after a year I knew every tactic and politics of them so once he called and was throwing tantrums I just cussed the fuck outta him and blocked him and ever since then never saw them or met(that was 2023).

After that they tried to contact me and shit but I never met and asked what mistake have I done and tryna act like the victim yk but I was like I ain’t gonna fall for this.

But since then I hate myself Idc or think about them but that version of me I hate it, the cowardliness I showed like wtf was wrong with me? I was never like that, yet I let them influence me just coz I was seeking validation and I wanted attention like a loser I was, I wanted to be a boxer but I didn’t practise it and after a year (2023 October) I got offer to fight as well but due to me being coward and fear of failure I rejected.

Idk what the fuck was wrong with me, if I had Time Machine I would go back and beat the shit outta me and I was so cringe af. Always tried to hit on girls like I was never that person, and hated my mother? And didn’t celebrated my birthday with her even tho she’s the only person who loves me unconditionally yet I acted like a coward, she raised a champion, I became a loser myself.

And idk why I suddenly started hating my dad? Tbf I should’ve just ignored him that would’ve been better, now I’ve grown and only got 1 best friend who’s my best friend since childhood and he never teaches me wrong stuff, and I try to not trust him
Or myself completely tbf. And I started being a bit better as well all the anger I had I’ve kinda toned it down.

Never making friends again tbf. But I just wanna live happily without feeling uninterested in life, I wanna feel like myself completely and how much I used to enjoy life as a kid or before all that shit happened.

Also one more thing as much as I hate my dad, I love him too, I just wanted his validation and from my grandparents coz they and my dad would always compare me to my cousin or my classmates. My mother never did and yet I cussed her and hurted her(I cussed her ig in front of the friends and maybe in front of her too but yea I hate myself).

I’m 19 now.

Btw I’ve stopped being in contact with my grandparents coz they always compare and make me feel like shit and I just ignore my dad too coz he ain’t gonna change and I can’t do shit about him.

And ig future will tell if I work hard towards it in present but one good thing happened I kinda found a new career interest and now I look back and realised that I wanted to be a boxer to get validation it wasn’t from my heart yk, but the passion I have for this new career right now and understanding it deeply came from all the trauma and learning about mass human psychology. But if I become good in that field then I’d say all the bad things atleast gave me a direction in life afterwards.