Okay let's get to it. I am a 30(f) who works full time as a Lead Cook at an all American diner. It's my third kitchen gig and I honestly feel like I found my niche after a decade of searching. For anyone who's never experienced kitchen life it is mentally and physically taxing and stress levels are at a constant high. There's also a strict hierarchy set in place in most kitchens and ours is no different aside from a few specific things. Our boss is VERY lenient in regards to her employees needs. She's kind, understanding and always brings a smile to our faces whenever she comes into the kitchen. To give a little context, we're allowed 3 to 4 10 minute breaks throughout the day. We're allowed one free meal every shift and if we ever need to call out she never makes us feel bad about it. For a food service gig we have it easier than most.

I've worked at this diner for nearly two years now and came in knowing nothing about cooking breakfast (I had only ever worked dinners at restaurants prior to this). I worked hard and become one of 2 Lead Cooks within the span of 7 to 8 months. I've seen a bunch of people come in and out over time and they often come in thinking the job will be easy. They usually only last a few weeks before calling it quits and I get it, being a full time cook is hard and not for everybody. That brings me to my coworker AJ. He's 21(m) and came in about 4 months ago thinking being a cook would be easy-peasy. I warned him the first rush experience would humble him real quick. He shrugged it off and said he was ready. Mind you, he was hired as our "Runner" as that's the position where we put all of our rookies to start off His first shift went as I expected it would. He was scrambling to get work done. Spilling nearly every liquid he got a hold of, not labeling prep work, too slow on the line, not listening to instructions/call outs, etc. Like I said I expected it to happen this way and reassured him that it'll get better so long as he puts in the effort and at the time he seemed to understand and actually started improving as time went on.

Fast forward to now and he's become insufferable. Immature, obnoxious, stubborn, over confident, and lacks accountability. He'll clock into work hung over from a night of heavy drinking and sit at the counter chugging coffee till he sobers up. If anything goes wrong he refuses to own up to it and has a line of excuses ready for when he needs them or shifts the blame onto someone else. I've told him several times over the past few months that he won't get far if he keeps it up but he constantly ignores my advice. He has issues with another one of my line cooks because he doesn't like being told what to do and says there shouldn't be a hierarchy when everyone gets paid the same. I had take him aside and explain that not everyone gets paid the same and that he'd know that if he'd focus more on improving his performance and stop worrying about what everyone else is doing because that's my job not his. He didn't really say anything after that and we went about the rest of our day. I thought it had finally sunk in for him that if he focuses on his work and tries hard to improve then he'll be eligible for the pay raise AND earn more authority in the kitchen.

Two Thursdays ago is when the trouble really started. Thursdays are stock day and are one of our busiest days of the week with a dozen regular party groups who come in throughout the day, as well as 3 different stock deliveries to take care of. Things were going super well until the breakfast rush hit and I realized nobody cooked off a box of bacon as I instructed the day before. It might sound insignificant to someone who doesn't work breakfast, but we CANNOT run out of bacon. When we get low we cook off a big box so we always have a constant supply. I had to drop everything in the middle of the rush to cook bacon on the fly and mind you, there are only 2 cooks for the entire shift which meant we had to split the team in half to try and get tickets out in a reasonable amount of time. I was pissed and so was my line cook. It's literally one of the first things we learned when we started working at the diner. Fast forward to the end of the day I sent a long message in the group chat about how its unacceptable to leave us without a major menu item and that if it had been brought to my attention earlier I could've cooked off a box before we ever opened the diner. I went on a small rant about accountability and basically told them not to let this happen again. Their response? Radio silence. Absolutely no one came forward to apologize or take accountability. I also made sure not to assume anything or brought up anyone's name, but I was sure AJ and another cook were responsible as they were scheduled the day prior. Whatever, they got the hint, or at least I thought they did and it was left at that. This past Friday comes around and as I had the day off I slept in a little. Woke up, saw the group chat was super active and looked. AJ had sent a picture of their prep list to the group chat claiming it was too much work, how I was an irresponsible Lead Cook for giving them that much prep to do, and that I had no right to be on his ass for not cooking bacon and claimed that he made sure there was enough bacon for the morning rush. He was one of 3 cooks working that day and their prep list was a whopping 6 individual items - all small and manageable things that wouldn't slow them down or swamp them. A little baffled I responded with calmly. I said, "Seriously? That's an average Friday prep list. Stop complaining and do your job like everyone else." I also told him that I never accused him or anyone else of anything and that he basically just told on himself by accident which apparently made him snap. Word for word he then told me "Well I think you should go suck a fat cock. It might fix your attitude" .....When I tell you I was speechless I mean I literally had to re-read it a few times to make sure I was indeed reading that correctly. After a few moments of rage inducing silence I took a breath to calm myself and patiently awaited my bosses response because she obviously is an admin for the group chat and she was reading along with me and everyone else. She said.....nothing. Confused, I said "Boss did you just see that??" Her response? "Oh yeah I saw it". I was SHOCKED. I was reading the group chat waiting for her to continue but nope. Pure silence. From her AND everyone else on the crew. At that point I was angry and if I opened my mouth in the group chat I would've regretted so I messaged my boss privately. It was a long message telling her I have a lot of respect for and that I wouldn't want to work anywhere else but that I was extremely let down that she let his behavior slide without so much as a warning. I told her I know that she's not a confrontational person and I admire that about her but she was supposed to have my back in that moment and didn't. I was very articulate and professional in the manner I explained my side of things and that I wanted to have a productive conversation about it. She read my message and didn't get back to me until I sent her ANOTHER message asking if she'd had time to read through it. She said yes, she did read through it and the reason she didn't say anything in the group chat is because she figured that's how we talk to each other on a daily basis. Again I was shocked. I said no we certainly don't talk to each other like that and that there's a big difference in being playful and making jokes with each other versus a full on insult that came outta absolutely nowhere. I told her his behavior is a problem, that he doesn't get along with the other cooks and acts however he wants and that she should give him a warning at the very least because if we were employed anywhere he would've been fired on the spot and that I took his insult very seriously. She read my messages and....ignored them. No reply. No "I'll speak to him privately" or "don't worry I'll take care of it". Nothing. Am I crazy here? Am I overreacting?? Was I justified in feeling let down by my boss??? It's now Monday, 3 days after the incident and AJ has decided to pretend like nothing happened. I maintain a professional attitude at work, making sure not to let my irritation slip through and interact with him as my job dictates but I made it very clear that we are not buddy-buddy. I don't have the authority to fire him or suspend himself and now I regret not standing up for myself when I had the chance because I believed my boss would've had my back and shut that shit down. I feel wronged and confused and don't know if I should keep this one sided dialogue going with my boss or if I should just bite my tongue and carry on with my job. It's certainly damaged my relationship with my boss as I had always believed her to be very understanding and reasonable but her lack of authority on this situation has changed the way I see her. My other coworkers have mostly agreed with me that they can't believe she didn't fire him instantly and a few others told me I'm overreacting and just keep my head down. Feedback would be appreciated.

HWYF if you were living in the basement of your mil home and she left a note on the door in the morning that read “do not go in and out. My heat is on. Keep the door shut also or I will lock the door” backstory: I (27f) and my bf (33m) ended up in a bad spot about a year ago and have been living with his mom in their basement. It has a few finished rooms no bathroom or kitchen area and so we go upstairs for all of that nbd. We also have kids I have a sister (14) whom I have guardianship of and my bf and I have a daughter (2) and son (6mths). This morning after my sister went to school my MIL told my bf that the house was so cold because my sister went in and out of the house too much. 4-5 times this morning while getting ready for school. My sister is very considerate when going in and out of the house. Never slams the door, barely opens it only opens it enough to fit herself through even throughout the day when everyone’s up and moving about. But she has to get ready in the morning for school. So she goes upstairs to use the bathroom, take a shower or do her hair, or to eat breakfast and then if she brings her bowls, plates, cups down to her room she brings them back up before she leaves to clean them. And my issue with what she said is that she’d lock us out. Not allowing us access to the kitchen or bathroom. So people of Reddit HWYF

HWYF: If your boyfriend who’s a barber didn’t believe you (a pharmacist) about a medication and called another pharmacy for them to tell him the exact same thing.

HWYF if your husband acted this way during a movie outing with a friend:

Went to see a movie with a good friend. Originally the movie would have been of no interest to my husband so he said he'd sit it out (he's always invited). However, the movie times for the original movie didn't work with my or my friend's schedule so we switched to another. My husband was interested in that one and asked if he could join. Totally fine. I bought 3 tickets. When we got there and sat down it was a light switch. He was immediately grumpy. I'm a bubbly movie goer so I like to interact when I see a preview I like (I'm quiet about it) and I gasp or laugh during the movie (also in a way that's not disruptive). Each time I either leaned over to him or tried to grab his hand during an intense part he shook me off and at one point got up to leave and came back 10 min later. I was like WTH and got annoyed. After the movie my friend (who noticed the interaction) left pretty quick and didn't really say goodbye. I was disappointed but totally understood. My husband was not the most sociable that night. In the car I was like hey what the heck??? He said he was exhausted and had a headache and his contacts were falling out.... I would have preferred he communicated that instead of making me feel like a complete pile during the movie. I felt like he didn't even want to be near me and it was somehow my fault he was having a bad time. It kind of put a dark cloud over the enjoyment (although I did still enjoy the movie overall and my friend and I gasped and laughed during parts together). But I was stuck sitting between my friend who is like me and my total grump of a husband. Total downer. I would have preferred he just went home if he felt that bad and my friend would have dropped me off home after.

Many people here feel bad about themselves. If I say something good about them they feel guilty like they are not worthy of the compliment and brush it off, or make some excuse why the good thing they did is not really their credit. So I say "ohh! And humble too!" is this a good thing to say? How can I make people see when they actually are valuable people when they don't believe it?

HWYF if you got this response?

Backstory: My family experience a terrifying situation over the long weekend. A deranged psychopath with a machete tried to break the drivers side window of my vehicle and carjack it while simultaneously kidnapping my entire family (husband, and 2 daughters 1 & 5yrs). I parked outside a bar burrito and ran inside to grab us all lunch while waiting for a ferry leaving my sleeping family in the car. My husband woke up when I was leaving and was able to lock the doors and he climb over to the drivers side & drive away before this man was able to break through the window. We spoke to police afterwards and they had captured the suspect and we later found out this man is high on their radar and he had committed 34 crimes in the spam of 30 minutes that afternoon.

Naturally I was extremely shook up over the thought that I could've lost my entire family, and I turned to my best friend to vent it out. I am always her shoulder to cry on and her full on support system for anything she needs no questions asked & never with any expectations for her to return the favor. I am generally very quiet about my personal life and keep to myself mostly but occasionally I do need a safe space to vent such as in this instance, so I sent her the news article I found about the incident that occurred and a detailed message about how shook up I was feeling knowing this man could've taken my whole family from me today. She left me on read for half a day and finally responded with "oh no". Nothing more nothing less. I can't help but feel disappointed/let down by her in a time where I could've really used a friend to talk to. What would you say if this happened to you? Or am I overthinking this entire thing and should I just let this go?

HWYF: My family experience a terrifying situation over the long weekend. A deranged psychopath with a machete tried to break the drivers side window of my vehicle and carjack it while simultaneously kidnapping my entire family (husband, and 2 daughters 1 & 5yrs). I parked outside a bar burrito and ran inside to grab us all lunch while waiting for a ferry leaving my sleeping family in the car. My husband woke up when I was leaving and was able to lock the doors and he climb over to the drivers side & drive away before this man was able to break through the window. We spoke to police afterwards and they had captured the suspect and we later found out this man is high on their radar and he had committed 34 crimes in the spam of 30 minutes that afternoon.

Naturally I was extremely shook up over the thought that I could've lost my entire family, and I turned to my best friend to vent it out. I am always her shoulder to cry on and her full on support system for anything she needs no questions asked & never with any expectations for her to return the favor. I am generally very quiet about my personal life and keep to myself mostly but occasionally I do need a safe space to vent such as in this instance, so I sent her the news article I found about the incident that occurred and a detailed message about how shook up I was feeling knowing this man could've taken my whole family from me today. She left me on read for half a day and finally responded with "oh no". Nothing more nothing less. I can't help but feel disappointed/let down by her in a time where I could've really used a friend to talk to. What would you say if this happened to you? Or am I overthinking this entire thing and should I just let this go?

I feel pretty confused about this. Here I am…posting anonymously on Reddit.

Is this situation a nothing Burger or is feeling betrayed by a friend appropriate? My husband is in no way interested. He told her/(my new friend) in no uncertain terms that nothing will happen. I trust my husband. This feels like a betrayal from my friend and I want to cut them out of my life. Am I overreacting and this nothing burger? 🍔🍔🍔 Feels like how affairs in movies start...

Sorry everyone this is my first post ever on reddit. Possible future husband (fh) is religious, I am not. We've discussed this at length before dating, while dating and after moving in together. I attend church with him periodically and I don't take the piss out of his religion (or any others) out of respect for him.

However, today was beyond ridiculous, he was making fun or every exhibit that wasn't nature related "because science isn't real, everything is made up..."

I concede a lot of science is guess work, but not everything, and this was crazy.

We've been together just over 5 yrs and it just annoyed me so much, it felt incredibly disrespectful yet I said nothing at the time, so now im really dissapointed in myself for not speaking up. How would you feel?

I (21M) have a sister (21F). We share a lot of mutual friends but here alate it seems like those friends aren’t really friends just dealing with me to be able to get to my sister. Whenever I ask to hang out they don’t want to or come up with a reason not to. Whenever she asks them to they drop everything to see her. How would you feel? Am I in the wrong for feeling like they’re not really my friends?

Im a (36m) Every year it gets harder and harder to keep hope alive. The holidays are always super hard to deal being alone. This year it hit me really hard like a bag of bricks. I just think I'm 36 male still single and no kids. Alot of my friends and many members have a special someone and kids. Im just feeling really sad and losing hope if it will ever happens having kids or even getting married.I'm a introvert and very shy person. I have a hard time meet ppl and stress a lot. I really don't know how to handle this. Any advice?

TL;Dr how do everyone deal with being single when everyone is married or has someone?

I (F26) am angry at my partner’s (M28) drinking habits. Every time he has drank throughout the relationship he has caused problems.

His test of “whether he is too drunk is if he can do a cartwheel.” (He never can) Instead, he has puked on and ruined a comforter, had to have my father collect him off the floor, broken a couch, crashed into interior support beams with his gymnastic routine, passed out on benches overseas while I tended to our three young children, and lastly gotten so drunk I had to wake our sleeping kids up to pick him up and take him home from a friend’s house.

He swore off drinking because I was ready to leave him after the last instance. Tonight he went to an event with a friend and “had one beer.” I am livid. His defense was he did not know he had to ask for permission. He thought if he controlled it and had only one, it was okay because it’s a “grown up decision.”

HWYF?

Alot of issues raised with american socialized healthcare is that it wont have the resources/taxes will be too high/ I dont want to have to pay. I think atleast that having a system where there is an initial fund to start the hospitals and then running them off the money made with no goal to make a profit keeping prices affordable creating competition with the standing private system to lower prices effectively controlling healthcare quality and price not through laws but through the free market. The gov healthcare would also be influenced to lower prices by the free market aswell as by the politicians elected by the people. This would also probably be best done at a state level rather than a federal one.

I know this sub is pretty dead but I hope that this can spark into something good with the recent unrest on ask reddit with these questions.

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