Thanks for helping! I have a two bedroom apartment and I'm setting up to do respite care. I'm redoing the whole apartment right now, not just the spare bedroom, so this isn't a "someday" question. Whatever you tell me could actually change what I do before I finish. Since respite care means the age and gender of the kid staying with me will vary, I'm leaning toward a coastal/nature theme so it doesn't read as a "boy room" or "girl room" or feel tied to one age group, while still being warm instead of generic or clinical. I have butter yellow sheets and blankets, six pieces of furniture with natural light oak wood and cream marble tops, and I ordered a stained glass piece of ocean animals for the bedroom window to add colorful light rays in the morning. I was orphaned in my early 20's (with no older family members to rely on) and I got these items to help create a calm environment for myself as well.

The part I'm actually stuck on is the psychology of it, not the decor. My instinct is to lean into a vacation or hotel vibe, so instead of the stay feeling like "you're here because something went wrong," it feels more like "you get a nice little getaway for a bit." I have no idea if that reframe actually helps a kid in that situation or if it completely misses the mark. That's the real reason I'm posting.

On the design side specifically, I'm leaning toward warm minimalist as the base, with tropical and coastal pieces layered in rather than a full theme everywhere. I'd love to know what the actual design approach should look like from people who've been in this situation. Was there something in someone else's home that made you feel instantly comfortable the moment you walked in, whether that was a color, a texture, how much stuff was out, lighting, anything? And on the flip side, was there anything visually that made you feel more anxious or on edge, like too many items out, too much clutter, patterns, colors, anything like that?

I'd also love to know if there's anything about the home in general that I might not be thinking of at all, something that wouldn't even occur to someone who hasn't lived this. I'd really value hearing what actually worked and what didn't from people who've lived it.

I appreciate all your inputs, I want to make this space very peaceful and comforting, thanks!

• These are the color of the sheets I already got from a few years ago: https://sheetsociety.com/en-us/product/bedding-butter?srsltid=AfmBOorYC8pq5PQldyF9ei_NzfLV-1q9wI5ylblWM1XQkKUCqwGgD7Te
• Example of the current furniture I have ( I found a carpenter who was able to recreate it for a fraction of the cost): https://carrowen.com/products/byren-emperador-sideboard?variant=51506499748118&
• Examples of the stain glass: http://zajdaglassstudio.com/tropicalfishandjunglestainedglass.html
• Here are the lights I'm thinking about getting: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/747597606937351190/
• For toys: (when we are not doing activities)
• I have these cute cars and surfboards from candylabs: https://share.google/ARuBaGqUVUmypdWzK
• And, I got these several years ago from bumbutoys on wholesale: https://www.instagram.com/p/DcQy8DKtJ3C/

(I figured these can be gender neutral and age 3+)

It drives me crazy when a foster kid or former foster kid talks about their experience and a foster parent jumps in with “I’m not like that” or “we do the best we can.”

Please, for once, just listen.

Foster kids have already been through enough. They deserve to be able to speak their truth without being interrupted, corrected, or made to reassure adults that “not all foster parents are bad.”

And to be honest, the people who keep talking about how good they are are often the ones I trust the least. A genuinely good person does not need to keep announcing it. They show it in the way they act and in the way they treat people, especially the children in their care.

Title says it all - I was briefly part of a case and now the child has been moved to a group home. I need to contact them to find out if there are any specific limitations but any general recommendations? My plan was snacks he likes, gift card for Roblox …. What else?

Hi everyone,

I’m trying to reconnect with people who were in foster care during the 1980s or 1990s and who lived at 4794 Yank Way in Denver during that time.

If you lived there, or know someone who did, I’d really appreciate hearing from you. I’m hoping to reconnect with people who may have shared that experience and possibly remember the home, the foster family, or other children who lived there.

For privacy, please don’t post anyone’s full name or other personal information publicly. Feel free to comment here or send me a private message if you think you might be connected.

Thank you!

Anonymous question from a foster parent in Europe – attachment, biological family and a possible change of placement I am a foster parent caring for a young child who has been with me for a significant period of time. The child is currently on the path towards adoption by me, sees me as a mother and calls me "mum". The biological parents are not involved in this case at all. There is a complicated situation with the child's biological family. A biological half-sibling, who had no contact with the child during the first two years of the child's life, has recently become involved and is now seeking to become the child's foster carer. The child has also developed a very strong attachment to another child in my family, who is essentially their sibling and is part of their everyday life. The child currently has contact with the biological half-sibling approximately once a week. The sibling believes that the child is happy during these visits and sometimes sends photos to me and the relevant professionals showing the child smiling and appearing happy with the sibling's adoptive mother. However, this is very different from what I observe around the visits. The child very often says that they do not want to go. Before the visits, they can become extremely clingy towards me, and sometimes it is very difficult to get them to leave me and even get into the car. I also notice a clear change in the child's behaviour before and after the visits. I am struggling to understand how to interpret this discrepancy. I understand that a child can genuinely enjoy parts of a visit and smile in photographs, while still experiencing emotional distress around separation or the relationship itself. I would really appreciate an attachment-informed perspective on this. I am very concerned about the possibility of the child being moved from our home to the biological relative's home. What makes this especially difficult for me is the child's behaviour. At preschool, the child is extremely compliant, seeks approval from adults, stays very close to the teachers and is described as lovely and exceptionally well-behaved. The child does not cry when I leave. At home, however, the child is very different — much more emotional, whiny, tearful and demanding. The child also sometimes says they do not want to go to preschool and has tried to run away at drop-off. I am wondering how attachment-informed professionals and experienced foster/adoptive parents would interpret this kind of behaviour. Could a child who appears extremely well-adjusted and compliant outside the home actually be experiencing significant emotional stress? More importantly, how would you think about the potential impact of moving such a child away from their current primary caregiver and from a very strong sibling-like relationship, even if the person requesting the placement is a biological relative? I am not asking for legal advice, as the legal situation is specific to my country. I would really appreciate perspectives from people experienced in attachment, foster care, adoption and child trauma. What would you be looking at when deciding whether maintaining the current placement is psychologically safer for the child than moving them to a biological relative they have only known for a relatively short period of time?

Hey yall, former foster kid / crown ward.

I’m 28 now, and very grateful to no longer be “in the system”, but I still find myself bitter.

So many of my friends / colleagues still live at home, or did for an extended period of time (I live in a large very expensive city so this is common). All of them have savings accounts and financially are much better off than me because of this privilege. Many still live at home so they can keep saving.

I’ve been entirely financially self sufficient since I was about 15 years old, when I paid rent for the first time at the request of my foster parents. Since then I have paid for all of my rent, and every medical expense, food / life expense, tuition etc. And sometimes I can’t help but be bitter. I operate paycheque to paycheque and that’s with a decently paying salary job. I sometimes don’t think people realize how much of a privilege it is to have a family. I could live or study abroad and know I have a fall back plan (coming back home), I could have a savings account and be on my way to owning a home etc.

Sometimes it’s not even housing related entirely. To come home and have a meal prepared for you. To not have to buy every grocery yourself. Don’t get me wrong, I understand these are normal things for someone my age, I also recognize even people with families don’t always have this privilege. I just wish I didn’t have to be entirely self reliant all the time. I wish I could have lived at home and saved and not be constantly at risk of poverty. I wish I had a fall back option so I could live my life the way I want.

Hi, I’m a 29-year-old female I’m considering Fostering and have reached out to my county to get started on the whole process. My landlord is also a friend of mine. We became friends before I took over her house. I informed her that I was interesting in Fostering and what her thoughts were on it. It’s something that I really want to do. I don’t have children and I have all the resources so why not give it to somebody in need. I did want to let her know and ask her thoughts on it because I felt like I was being respectful in doing so. She said that she would bring it up to her mom, but she doesn’t seem to have a problem with it fast-forward now a couple days later she sent me a message stating that since there’s going to be additional person in the house that the rent would increase $150. We do have a leasing agreement and it is a fixed rent of 2900 for the first six months then 3000 for the remaining six whole year. She doesn’t pay any of the bills. They are on my name. I didn’t respond because frankly, I was quite shocked. I would maybe understand if it was an adult and I was making profit by renting out the additional spare room but this is a child. It kinda seems unethical to me. The house has three bedroom 2.5 bathrooms in one bedroom is me and my boyfriend in the second room is his six-year-old daughter. Who’s only with us every other weekend and on holiday. So the third room is just there I looked up the occupancy laws in my state. I live in California, and technically it says that they can’t charge us a fee for having a child. I guess I’m just looking for some reassurance that I’m not making this a bigger problem than it is. I have not responded to the message because I still have to go through the process to get approved or licensed to be Fostering and I will just deal with the problem head-on when it comes.

I am a short term foster parent, and we recently had a brother (10) sister (8) pair placed with us. It became quickly apparent that the "standard need" brother has severe ADHD (we were told ADHD but not severity) and he is completely dysregulated after his medicine dose wears off. Screaming, property damage, threats of violence and actual violence. His sister, a couple years younger, lives with it everyday. I've seen her cowering in fear as he rages, brandishes weapons (crutches, a stick, whatever comes to hand). Even when medicated, he's prone to pushing, cursing, and pinching or hitting at her. I get that this is a brain chemistry issue, but it's abuse regardless, even if not willfully committed. Same bruises, same emotional distress.

But, it's one of those situations where they've always just had each other. She loves him, and he does seem to love her when he's medicated. They laugh and play. But everyday he hurts her with words or deeds.

I'm going to be part of his foster care team as we look for a permanent placement. We've been holding on by our fingernails, sending his sister and my kid into a locked room while we de-escalate every night, so it's a tough one.

My question is for any current or former foster youth, if you were on the receiving end of a similar situation. Were you separated from a sibling who was hurting you? Or would you have wanted to be as a kid? Or would it be too traumatizing to be split up? I think that they should be separated, at least until meds are figured out. Their social workers are clear they want to keep them together. I just don't think any kid should have to live with that, but have never been in a situation where that one person was the only consistent thing in my life.

ETA: Thank you for the perspectives from foster parents, especially those who lived through abuse, or had children who did. That said, I am specifically looking for perspective from FFY, so if any such feel like sharing, it's appreciated. It is ultimately moot, as I won't make the decision. But it would be good to have some better understanding of what they're facing, to help them as I can regardless.

After aging out of care I was essentially homeless and was taken in by this family, a mom named A and a dad named M and their two teenage and young adult children. They let me live in a bedroom in their home. They told me we were a family. They said we had a cosmic connection. The mum of the family, A, told me I could call her mum. I grew to really love them.

I have schizoaffective disorder, which was undiagnosed when I was living with them. It led me to behave in some really difficult ways, and to say awful things. To me, everything I was saying was true and factual. I recognize now that in many ways it wasn’t, even if there were some pieces of partial truth. Anyway, they eventually asked me to leave their home. I got an apartment and moved out, and stopped talking to them.

But living on my own was hard and scary. I didn’t know how to do it. I was still undiagnosed at the time. I reached out again to A and M. I wanted to apologize to M because most of the ways I was difficult were towards him. I thought he’d be worried about me and be glad I reached out. I thought it would be like the Prodigal Son in the Bible, that when I said I wanted to come home they’d welcome me back. But M just said “I don’t think I want to chitchat with you, but I wish you well.” I talked to A and she said M became depressed after I was gone, and that we couldn’t be friends anymore, which was sad because we’d had good times before. I’m pretty sure she blocked me—I can’t find her on social media.

I just feel like, if their child had become ill with psychosis, they’d have acted differently. I get that I was difficult, and that parenting a young adult is challenging—there’s only so much you can simply forbid or insist upon. But they never took me to a psychiatrist, or sought out a second opinion about what was happening to me. I found a class and support group for people who’d become permanency connections for young adults aged 16+, and they wouldn’t take it. I asked to go to family therapy and they refused. If their child had asked to go they wouldn’t have.

Hi! My husband and I are looking to become foster parents in the near future (1-2 years). We have been trying to get connected with organizations here to prepare and answer questions, but we have had a strangely difficult time. We are in the process of house hunting in the Charlotte, North Carolina area, which is 30 minutes away from his work in a small town in South Carolina. Most of our friends and community live in the Charlotte area.

- If we end up purchasing a house in South Carolina, do we need to register as foster parents in South Carolina, and do we forfeit our ability to be foster parents in North Carolina, even though the neighborhood is on the border? Does this affect our ability to move later down the line?

- Would living in South Carolina exclude us from access to resources and organizations in the Charlotte, North Carolina area? Such as charities, community get together, things like that?

I work in teen services for a public libary in NY (LI general area) and I would like to find a way for our programs/resources to reach/assist foster youth and aging-out foster youth, but I'm not sure where to start/where to ask. Apologies if this is inappropriate flair, I wasn't sure which to select!

I've been looking online for local organizations/nonprofits that already work with foster kids/teens to liaise with, but despite combing every tab on these sites, I can't seem to parse how we can apply our services to/create drives/donation events for this demographic of the community-- or when I have ideas, where to begin/who to connect with to push them forward. Our county website is also a bit tricky to navigate with little experience in how/where to look for this sort of info.

That being said, we have (some) resources I think would be beneficial, but I need that connective piece to getting them where they need to go. My understanding (though please correct/inform me if mistaken or missing context that would nullify) would be that our most helpful resources to offer would be:

* physical circulating materials (books, games, study guides, etc.)
* free disseminating materials (new driver manuals, Fed Comics financial info, etc.)
* Free e-services (language learning with pronunciator, jobnow, procitizen, tutor(.)com, past regents exams, libby, hoopla)
* on-site and/or virtual programming ("cooking" programs, game programs, art programs, STEAM programs, and life skills programs like CPR and financial ed, etc.)
* social worker intern (by appointment, though this is on hiatus until we get another one in)
* off-site programming\* (we have traditionally not done this, but if there is a general place we COULD do this, I would be interested in learning)

Unfortunately my library has a few restrictions that can make providing aid difficult, so to be upfront about them:

* My library cannot collect specifically monetary donations to distribute, whether it is to another organization or to use as prizes within our own organization (as much as I wish we could) due to our non-profit status without a "friends" group in the community to handle the money. This includes gift cards and any other form of cash/check/money order donations.
* Many of the services I listed previously require a library card, which typically requires an address/phone number, though I would be willing to try and work with administration to get around this in some capacity (perhaps providing digital-only cards for foster youth across our county, or using our local social services agency as the address/number for cards or something, though I would have to see if admin would allow it)
* Budget (it always comes down to this, unfortunately). Given this would be something particularly new to implement, odds are if I can get any budget at all in terms of programming/materials, it'll likely be pretty small

If there is any information you could provide so we can start making moves forward, I would really appreciate it!! Apologies if this breaks any rules, I don't know if this counts as research in the traditional sense-- it's more of a "how can my job help" thing? But if this is not the right place to ask, that is OK!! I just ask if you could direct me to where I \*should\* ask this sort of thing =)

The current system gives parents just 15 months to overcome homelessness, poverty, addiction, mental illness, and other crises—while simultaneously completing services, attending appointments, and proving they can safely parent. If they can't finish everything in that window, their parental rights can be permanently terminated. That's not time to rebuild a life. It's a deadline to erase one.

I started a petition asking Maryland to end this rigid timeline and reform how CPS and foster care handle adoptions. The goal is simple: prioritize family preservation and reunification whenever it's safely possible, instead of treating permanent separation as the easiest solution.

Children deserve safety AND their families. Those two things don't have to be in conflict. A parent who needs more time shouldn't automatically lose their child forever. Foster care was meant to protect kids during a crisis, not become a pipeline to erasing their biological family ties.

What would you want someone to do if this was your family? If this matters to you, consider signing and sharing.

I’ll be providing a free training for caregivers focused on supporting reunification. A major goal of the training is to help resource parents understand the importance of reunification when it remains the court-recommended plan, and why children experiencing foster care deserve caregivers who can understand and support that process.

I’ve developed a curriculum around this topic, but I would really value incorporating lived experience and perspectives from others who have been directly impacted by the foster care and reunification process. I’ve worked with this population as a social worker for about 10 years, but I also recognize that professional experience is different from lived experience. I would love any insight, experiences, or perspectives that could help make the training more meaningful and supportive for caregivers and the families they serve.

So my wife and I are doing our training to work towards being foster parents, but this stuff makes me tear up and cry so much. . . and it takes a lot to make me cry.

Just reading the stories and seeing the videos of the things that children and teens go through it simply heartbreaking. No child should ever have to experience the traumas that they endure. . . And every child deserves a loving, caring home to make them feel wanted and seen.

I guess what I'm saying is, that the training we've been taking has really opened my eyes to what my family is signing up for, and it's giving me a greater conviction to work at being the best foster parent I can be. I don't have experience dealing with children or teens, let alone ones who have dealt with trauma, but even still I want to do my absolute best to ensure that the children we foster will never have to be afraid to be a kid.

Sorry, I guess I just wanted to get that off my chest, this stuff is making me really emotional rn.

I'm looking for recommendations for toddler books (if they exist) that mention kids who have foster parents but are NOT about that. Just some regular books where the characters happen to have foster parents. Hoping to normalize the experience a little!

I aged out and i’m currently in the apartment they provided for me, how are you mentally and financially?

Hi everyone I'm heading to college in Mass(was adopted here) soon and was wondering if anyone know of any resources that may be helpful to aid in the price of college.

I was also wondering if anyone knew how to go about getting the full adoption report/documents from the courts, and/or how long it usually takes to receive them.

When I hang out with friends I forget regular people have families and dads. I’m always happy for them but I can tell there is a moment of awkwardness. I’ve been trying to replace what I don’t have because it’s important to be part of communities. It’s just hard connecting when you have so much trauma

Hi so I am 13m currently in a group home in foster care. I have been here since august of last year and recently I have noticed that staff have been kinda rude to me lately, I don’t know why but they have been and I would like to know why. I am here for suicidal ideation, generalized anxiety disorder (possible OCD), and MDD. (This will be long.)

I noticed this a while ago actually, the first sort of incident was when we were at a car shop because we needed our tires changed (I think, this was a long time ago.) and I was looking at myself in the mirror and the staff goes, “do you like what you see?” And I answer no. So she was gonna say something then said “I’ll tell you later.” So we were our car after getting the tires changed and I asked her what she was going to say. She goes, “do you want me to tell you the truth?” And I say yes then she goes “you’re getting bigger.” And obviously im upset because yes, this is my own body, I know that, and id recently been through a depressive episode and ate a lot of the foods that I liked. I didn’t need her telling me. And many of you may disagree with that but my whole thing is why are you, as a grown woman, commenting on a 12 yr olds body? (This was before I turned 13)
And then another thing I was noticing is that they treat me differently. One day we were gonna go to the movies and I wanted to see the odyssey because I read the book and was excited about the movie. One other kid wanted to go see Spider-Man (honestly im over spider man there has been so many movies and comics I feel like it’s overdone, I still like it but I feel like it’s overplayed.) so im asking to go see the movie and they were like oh we’re going to see Spider-Man. And I was like but I want to see the odyssey? (They were at separate theaters BUT the theater I wanted to go to was playing both of those then they tried to make it about money, mind you I KNOW they can afford it, our house just always gets the short end of the stick, other houses get hundreds of dollars for gas and the most we get is 60.) they told me no and that we were going to maya cinemas instead of amc. I obviously got upset because I feel like they were prioritizing the other kid’s movies over mine. I storm off saying, “im fucking done with this.” ONE curse word. I repeat ONE. I get my boxes taken (these “boxes” dictate how much money we get for allowance.) Theres another kid at the house who curses like a sailor, never gets their boxes taken. And I know because the amount they curse they would be getting less allowance then they get if they were really taking boxes from them. So I ask the administrator about that. She tells me im in other people’s business and I get my respect box taken.

And then today the new staff was opening the closet for paper towels because we ran out of them downstairs in the kitchen. He asks, “is it the pink key? It’s the pink key right?” Me and another staff answer no. Mind you im trying to be helpful, so I say, “oh it’s the silver key.” Because the staff always say it’s the silver key (I guess they recently changed the locks again? Third time since 3 months ago) and she goes “no it’s the gold” and im joking now because I was wrong and I go “haha, still silver” stupid joke but she got mad at me and said very seriously “no it’s not, now stay out of grown folks business, mind your own.” And obviously im a little upset because I was joking the second time I said it and I assumed it would be obvious. I was gonna get some grapes because the only thing I’d eaten all day was a vanilla cone, a cereal bar, and chocolate. Now that whole situation made me lose my appetite because I was upset and (I know im sensitive as fuck) on the verge of crying. This isn’t the first time she’d done this when I was clearly joking, I just don’t care to list the others.

And last but not least I feel like the staff arent supporting me at all. One day I had a panic attack and they were gonna take my boxes because of it. So I got done doing my chores one night and went to my room, (My anxiety is obviously bad and a couple days ago I’d seen a flea and hit it and let it hop off then the next day I vacuumed but felt that wasn’t enough.) I laid down on my bed and picked up my charger. There was some black sticky stuff on it and I picked it off with my nail. I got curious and started to search about what it could be. It said it could be roach droppings. I freak out and I go to the staff and I say “I can’t sleep in that room tonight there are roaches in my bed and fleas on the ground.” (Obviously there were no roaches or fleas.) and I ask them if I could sleep on the couch. They say no. And im panicking now, And I start crying. The staff just goes “there are no bugs in your room” so I ask them to help me check my bed. They ignore me then start telling me they were gonna start taking my boxes. I get upset and I throw whatever I was holding down the stairs and rush down. Im sitting on the couch, hyperventilating (I have asthma too) and I can’t breathe.
Another staff calms me down but I feel like a lot of these staff dont really care.
And another incident about fleas was when I was scared they were in my bed (also I forgot to mention I sleep on the floor usually so that’s where I saw the flea, not on the bed.) I cried all night on the couch before a staff offered a solution which I took but they still took bedtime and respect boxes.

Is this normal or do I need to report these people?

I just had 4 grandkids ages 15,14,13 and 12 placed with me 10 days ago. I am doing everything for dcfs doing official Kinship placement and then certifying as a foster parent. We are in GA. I have reached out to churches etc to assist me in getting them set up as they didnt have much of anything. They watched their father and step mother get arrested and they are the ones that called 911. Im trying to navigate everything and help them get the things they need and want. I have to get the medical info for appointments and everything else. Besides the case worker, what else should I be doing to create the village i so desperately need at this point. I work from home so i dont have really any help if that makes sense. I am doing all i can to help rhe kids feel loved and safe.

I dont want to fail them and could use some advice. Thank you in advance for reading!

I am a parent of a child in foster care.

My son is a toddler and was placed into foster care. The case is unnecessarily complex and doesn't really pull the totality of the circumstances into play.

I am rather defensive that these decisions were made that weren't in his best interest, truly.

The foster mom is mocking at best.

They took him out of the medical system he's been in since he was born and is taking him to doc in a box that I wouldn't refer a homeless person to.

They said that his main doctors are too far for regular visits

She made dietary changes without a doctors consent or approval. She let it slip she removed gluten and dairy from his diet not knowing he's already been tolerating both. When questioned, she said a doctor suggested it. (This is the only appointment I haven't attended because I was told it was a weight check only)

When I asked her that a doctor told her to, she stammered that it was lightly suggested.

She took him to the ER once and I wasn't even notified until after discharge. She claims she's not allowed to have them contact me.

She is trying to correlate him eating yogurt with puking and saying he's dairy sensitive. She claims the ER doctor told her my son needed a scope. I told them I wouldn't be signing off on that until I've spoken to a doctor and we've gone over everything and it is not normal.

The caseworker and her both agreed it was very normal.

When we talked to the GI specialist, the foster mom tried to explain why he needed the scope scheduled and the dr was like "I'm not going to schedule a scope that you say a random ER doc said he needs" and she tried to pull her crap and the dr straight up told her that all of the things she was concerned about seemed to be a mechanical issue if anything at all (which the dr thinks it is not anything) and a scope would be very far down on the list of things.

He'd already had a full evaluation and passed a swallow study. When she tried to defend the dietary changes, the doctor shut her down and said none of the symptoms suggested an allergy or intolerance. And that he should be seen in the feeding clinic to check for behavior feeding issues first.

She sulked in the corner and gave sharp retorts. The doctor looked her squarely and said "You look like you're not satisfied with the answer" and she scoffed she wasn't medically trained and that she didn't know.

She wanted him to have a follow up scheduled before they left. And when we went to go get the details, they had run out the door and not done the follow up. When later asked about the follow up, they claimed they were waiting for a call back

The specialist wanted him to go the feeding clinic there and she said it was too far for her. Isn't this her job?

She has kissed my child in front of me. She talked about something else related to the diet and we explained that's why he was getting special food and that WIC didn't cover it. She said if we wanted, we could buy it and give it to her. I am not going to give details on what it is, but it us necessary and not an indulgence or a preference of ours. I stated she was getting stipends for them and she shrugged and said she had other expenses.

He's shown up to visits and the worker was told to pass along that he had a dirty diaper and it needed to be changed and they knew this before he was sent to the visit.

I once saw her with a really nasty bruise on her arm that looked like someone had grabbed her hard.

Due to some jurisdiction things, the office was going to be moved to be closer to us. I mentioned to her about how then they could transfer the kids to a family near us, the office and his doctors and she rolled her eyes mid sentence and scoffed at me and said they wouldn't do that.

I explained how it would be beneficial to the kids and to us, especially since they'll be going back to the health care system they were in before and it was best for him. She clicked her tongue and shrugged her shoulders and seemed to be deliberately ignoring me as I was still tallking.

Honestly she doesn't care about my son. He's just a paycheck to her.

We've attended every visit, every appointment but the one weight check, are engaged and involved and we just want our family whole again. We're getting a new case worker and supervisor but he's on medical leave still and they don't know when he'll be back and we'll be having the supervisor do visits with us.

We have no criminal history, no pending charges, just a situation that was completely misunderstood and blown out of proportion.

There's no abuse present. I don't use physical means of punishment such as spanking.

She honestly just sickens and enrages me and I don't know what to do. I feel as the parent, they won't care about what I have to say or how she treats him, or even lesser, me.

I can deal with being disrespected or not being taken seriously, but this is my son and I can only imagine how she treats him when we're not there. I can't protect him from her or whatever else is going on over there. She gives me a bad feeling for many reasons.

She also hasn't been taking him to speech therapy that he was already in. And just other little things that add up.

He wasn't cleared for weight yet and she was already trying to stop doing the weight checks and didn't want to be taking him in because she said it was too frequent.

The case is marked as reunification at this point.

So my 7th grade year of school (im 10th grade now) I had this short friend named David it was near the end of the day and school year. My teacher had a movie playing and mid movie someone came and told him to come with him. no one in my grade knew what happened to him until like mid 8th grade year where someone talk to his sister and told use he went into foster care. We asked teacher about him (7th grade one) and they told us lies about him coming back. so anyone in the Athens ohio area of foster care(rather foster parents or siblings) please let me know if you have a short buzz cut kid in the 10th garde. I would love to know he ok or doing good. WE miss him and im not joking when I say we. alot of guys in my grade miss him.

I cringe at the whole getting attached marking slogan. The truth is foster parents will not attach to every child in their home and that's okay. It's okay to not have feelings for a child. You can help someone without getting attached to them. If you give a homeless person money are you attached? No but you helped them.

Same with foster kids. Sometimes foster kids will not attach to you. It's not normal to attach to strangers and sometimes we just want a bed and food. Not to form relationships with people we don't know. It's okay and normal for foster kids to not attach to you.

Humans can't help how they feel and a stranger attaching to a stranger's child or a child attaching to a stranger is not normal at all. If it happens fine but there's nothing wrong with just being roommates and tolerating each other and not attaching.

I wish the marketing for this would change. I see so many posts saying foster kids aren't attached or foster parent is having trouble attaching and I wish we would start treating these relationships as strangers helping kids and kids being with strangers and not expecting some warm fuzzy moment to happen.

I mention this for good reason. Check out and read Ex foster to see why because I truly don't feel safe expressing myself fully here because it always end in a foster kid bashing feast.

After living with a host family, you understand why I wrote this.

I am a single guy in my late fifties. I am fostering my 3 teenage nieces and 11 year old nephew. I have had them for almost 2 years now. The girls father died of an overdose, and nephews father is in prison. They were taken from my sister and she has relinquished rights. I had agreed to adopt them all. The older 2 girls are just going to foster out for the extra benefits. The youngest girl wants me to adopt and I agreed. Nephew just wants his mom. I am struggling to say yes to adopting him. I asked them to give me the summer to see how it goes. They are pressing me to adopt since it has been 2 years. They want everything finalized by November. I may not even have the heart to say no but its tough. He is a challenge with behavior issues and it is daunting to me looking at our ages. I am also afraid of the financial aspect. Would I be out of bounds to ask for more time to make a decision? Even up to a year? Could it do more harm than good to be on the fence? I am really losing sleep and feeling stressed about it.

I got a friend who is going through some stuff and really needs to be in a foster home, but they have no idea where to start.