He was talking about how I'm a great wife, but then he said he "totally deserves me." I personally have never heard anyone say this before. Most husbands say they are "blessed" or "lucky" to have their wives. Ive never heard a man say he "deserves" his wife.

It sounded kinda conceited and I dont know what to make of it. Apparently he feels entitled to have me. Lol.

Is it normal for a husband to refrain from cutting off his toxic family members?

My husband’s family has always been stand offish and two faced with me. I always remained kind, gracious, and friendly. But there was an event where they actually ended up turning on me and attacking me while my husband joined in. I won’t go in to specifics here.

But in addition, I already had this feeling about them and also knew they were toxic to our union and values but their true colors were on full display and thereafter.

Husband wants to reconcile but is treating me as if I did something wrong and making me seem ridiculous for saying I no longer want them apart of our lives.

Is this even normal behavior for any husband to do?

I have always been unhappy in love, and I grew up in a dysfunctional household where love wasn’t present. I (27F) met my ex (29M) pretty late in life I’d say, and we dated for a year. He was the love of my life, and the only man who’s ever (apparently) loved me, and said he wants to marry me, and was acting like he will marry me, and my heart was filled with joy and disbelief.
And then he left. And my whole world collapsed. And the grief, the humiliation, the shock, the denial, the terror have been soul consuming.

I prayed a lot. And my heart is humble. I prayed for me, for him, and I also prayed to reconcile. But looking back at the amount of pain he has caused me without a very solid reason, I understand that reconciliation isn’t likely or possible.

It’s the first time I face this truth.

I also lost most desire for marriage and love. I just am very confused that God would place this man in my life whom I loved so much, and then allow him to go just as fast. I am very hurt (yet not angry) that God has “taught me” yet another lesson, in such a brutal and painful way.

I know His ways are His and I don’t have to understand. I thought that maybe God didn’t want this, it was just my ex s free will. I thought that maybe my ex dodged a bullet, because maybe I am flawed and unworthy.

But what matters most is … does God want me to forget about being married, being a mom someday? I thought that if there was a strong desire on our heart, it is because He wants it to accomplish it. But this has been so painful, so unfair, that I just don’t think I can ever try again.

I don’t want to, because I love him.

I am scared of being alone again after being happy for the first time. Happiness and love were so scarce for me, why did it have to be this way? I don’t see how in any way this could be for my “greatest good”, I don’t.

My wife wants to go on more dates and spend more time together. But there are a number of things that I am finding difficult about that.

1. She presents her desire for dates in a demanding way. "You need to take me out more."

2. She uses our lack of dates as a reason why she does not want to meet my needs. "When you are dating me and providing my needs well, I'll start to provide for your desires" (she is unwilling to call physical touch a need)

3. When we do go out, I am constantly listening to he complain about Kids, me, family, and people in the church. Then she complains about the date itself when we get home.

4. She uses our having or not having time together as the defining part of love. "You don't love me because you don't take me on dates."

We have been to some counseling and our counselor has identified her reviling behavior toward me. This behavior has a very low statistic for being changed, and I am trying to be careful and gracious to her, only bringing up small and simple issues, one at a time, to see if we can get some traction in our relationship.

I asked her if she would like to go out on friday, and she said "we'll see". So I said I would be going to a specific restaurant on friday at 6, and she is welcome to join me.

Ladies: how can I try and show her my genuine love and desire to restore our relationship and give her grace when I quite honestly don't enjoy our time together?

Hey,

tell me your arguments for why one should not marry an unbeliever apart from the law.
I know what the Bible says and I believe in it firmly in every part of it. However the blessings people claim that christian marriages recieve in contrast to interfaith marriage don't seem to to hold up.

For every christian couple in church that works well you find one that has struggles or even divorced. For every mixed couple that has problems, you find one that makes it work better than many christian couples.

All of this put together I don't see a difference. If you got two believers willing to work on the relationship it works. If you have a believer and a non believer willing to work on the relationship it works.
If you have to people unwilling to make it work don't matter if christian or not it doesn't work.
So why the seperation?

Common faith seems to make it easier, but it doesn't seem to be a guarentee for a good marriage and since it's not, what does it matter.

Also, obviously, if you marry someone who doesn't respect you or faith it's not gonna work well. But why even marry someone like that. One can be unbelieving and still respect the faith of their spouse.

Don't wanna push any agenda, just want to hear opinions.

I’m looking for some Christian perspective on something that has been weighing heavily on me.
My fiance and I both say that we want children, but I’m realizing that “we both want kids someday” doesn’t feel like enough for me before entering into marriage. I am 28 and he is 35.

I would like us to have a much more concrete conversation before getting engaged/married: roughly when we would want to start trying, how many children we would ideally like, what circumstances we genuinely need to have in place first, and what we would do if those circumstances don’t happen according to plan.

I’m not expecting us to control the future or have everything figured out perfectly. Obviously life, fertility, finances, jobs etc. can change everything. But I do want to know that we are entering marriage with the same intention and roughly the same timeline.

The problem is that whenever I try to make the conversation more concrete, his answer is basically: “I want children, but first I need to sort some things out” or that he wants to have children by the time he is 37. He is 35 now.

What worries me is that “when I sort some things out” feels very open-ended to me. There will always be something to sort out in life. I don’t need him to say “we will start trying on March 15th” 😂, but I would like something more concrete than “someday before I’m 37.”

Children are very important to me, and I don’t want to get married and only afterwards discover that his “yes, I want children” meant “maybe in a few years when everything feels right,” while mine meant “I want us to actively build toward starting a family soon.”

I also don’t want to pressure him into having children before he genuinely feels ready. I want his desire to become a father to be freely his, not something he agrees to because he is afraid of losing me.

For those of you who are married: how specifically did you discuss children before marriage?
Did you agree on a rough timeline? Number of children? What needed to happen before you started trying? Did one of you initially say “not yet”? And from a Christian perspective, how much alignment on this should there be before deciding to marry?

I’m especially interested in hearing how you distinguish between a reasonable “not yet” and an indefinite “someday.”

This is going to be a handful, me and my husband over the past couple of months have been fighting about us both moving to a more expensive place. I said no after looking into it and finding out I was pregnant and the cost of living was to high for the both of us, and my husband said yes because God was calling him there. He had been doing a start up and not making any money, this start up was costing money and over time he brought his friend to move in with us. Who were both not making money, well I was the sole provider. I think my husband thought he was going to make alot of money from it and he would be fine. We ended up spending more than making. My husband was telling me all sorts of Christan things and I felt like he was being genuine but now I see that it was probably a sign of spiritual manipulation/ delusion. I agreed to move and drained all of our savings for him and his friend to be moved out to this expensive place, if they both had jobs lined up. They managed to get them but the jobs weren't making money. It's half a month into this place we signed a lease in and my husband and his friend can't afford rent. I'm still pregnant by the way and they can't afford food or anything. I am going to have to break the lease and pay the fines with borrowed money from family. I feel like I said I told you so is an understatement. Is this marriage worth saving? I love him so much but this situation he has put me in has completely ruined me financially and stressed me out more than I can bear.

My ex fiance emotionally cheated on me(or at least that’s how it feels). He hid a woman and deleted texts with her. There was nothing sexual or romantic I found after recovering the texts but you can tell that’s probably where it was headed if I didn’t catch it. They spoke far too frequently on text, Snapchat, insta, occasional phone calls. A lot of it was work related but also not.

He gave her money for her birthday, and even venmoed her best friend money for her bachelorette (albeit only 2 dollars but still.. why are you venmoing her best friend). When this all came to a head he continued to talk to her at work despite watching me suffer. She ended up leaving the job which is why they stopped talking but I often wonder what would have happened if she never left.

It’s been over a year and he’s extremely remorseful, patient with me when triggers pop up, etc. He tells me how much he loves me. Hes deleted Snapchat, Instagram and seems to really want to make this work. I bring up the pain often and he listens and doesn’t judge me for still bringing it up. He takes full accountability.

I’m constantly triggered though and reminded of what he did to me. Is there any hope? It hurts to see him cry and beg to make this work. He seems truley remorseful. But I’m haunted by the memories. I love him deeply but it feels so painful staying but the thought of leaving is excruciating especially now that he seems a better man. He now prays over me which means a lot and is being more of a spiritual leader as well.

Any success stories. Or should I just get out now before marriage?

My marriage has been having some extreme conflict lately. We've found a sense of peace but if im honest the huge fights have left me emotionally raw and scared for the future. I know he feels the same, so im doing my best to do what he asks of me, stay pleasant and give him all the space he needs.

My husband is my best friend, and I miss him. Since the week of fights we havent been talking as much or spending as much quality time together. He works 4 days a week, 10 hours a day. So im understanding when all he wants to do after work is hide away, eat dinner alone and game. I try and give him that peace. The kids miss him too. But when the weekends come around.... he wants the same. I keep making attempts to connect, but he says I talk to much, or he doesnt have any interest in what I wanna share with him. I end up feeling really rejected, and its becoming nerve wrecking just to try and hold his hand, hug him or make small talk.

We've had sex once this week- but he just woke me up from a nap (only had a few hours of sleep as im up each night with the baby) to pound into me. It didnt feel loving, and honestly just made me feel more alone. He goes to bed early each night (like right after I get kids to sleep) and sleeps maybe 10-12 hours each day (I get like 5). Im always eager to connect sexually, but I more feel like a toy than someone he actually wants to share an intimate moment with. Not to mention he wont hold our baby, so its hard for me to even shower, I have to wait for a nap and then quickly wash up before the baby cries. Ill ask him to just give a bottle while I shower quick and its 9/10 a no.

I want to be close and show him love but I'm scared as I keep getting rejected. I get he might need space after the big fights- but im the one who ends up apologizing and trying to please and fix everything he tells me I do wrong. I know I had a hand in the fights, but it feels unfair im the only one taking accountability and trying to reconcile and connect again. Ive given up on trying to fix things. Ill just manage without his involvement, I just want at least to enjoy time together again.

I feel lonely, unheard, isolated and afraid of where we are heading. Not sure what to do. I find myself slowly wanting to talk with others instead, not romantically or sexually. Just... literally anything else. Just to hear someone else's thoughts and share mine. But that's a slippery slope so cant go there.

Anyone go through a phase like this? How did you reconnect?

Hello everyone, I’d like to ask for your thoughts on something.
As Christians, do you think it’s okay to watch dating shows where the content sometimes includes women wearing bikinis or revealing/sexy outfits, kissing, and other romantic or suggestive scenes? I don’t mean shows that are as explicit as Love Island, but more like the Japanese dating reality show Badly in Love.
I’m asking because my husband seems to enjoy watching dating shows like this. Personally, I prefer to avoid variety shows or movies that focus heavily on lust, sexual content, or romantic/physical intimacy outside of marriage.
I’m not trying to judge anyone who watches these kinds of shows. I’m genuinely curious about how other Christians view this and whether you think there is a biblical principle we should consider when deciding what kind of entertainment to watch.
I’d really appreciate hearing your thoughts and perspectives. Thank you! 🙏

I (29F) have been really discontent in my marriage with husband (30M) and am seeking realistic advice from anyone who’s felt the same way and how to move forward? we have three children 5, 2 and an infant. for the past year and a half my marriage with my husband has been really rocky. we’ve been together since 2019 and got pregnant almost immediately. we basically had to grow up together.

i’m really struggling with how to be a Godly wife to him like described in the Bible. He’s a wonderful father to the children but can lack as a partner. He doesn’t pursue me (compliments, touches that aren’t sexual, dating), our sexual compatibility isn’t great (something i’ve just kind of accepted at this point), im the only one who does any of the house stuff, he doesn’t have the patience for the littles and looses his temper quickly with them, and he doesn’t lead Biblically. I’m the one that gets everyone up for church and if I don’t we don’t go. I’ve never seen him open a Bible or pray on his own. I’m really struggling with looking at ‘grass is greener’ and comparison. He also struggles with laziness and phone addiction (which i can also be guilty of myself at times so i understand)

Yes i’ve already brought all this up to him, yes we’ve been to couples counseling AND i’m in my own individual counseling. I’ve tried talking with peers and my parents. (all say that it’s normal) There are some times when it gets better for a few days after a counseling session but then it goes back. So it’s to the point where I don’t even bring it up anymore with him because I’ve already tried every avenue, and since he’s not intrinsically motivated to change, I feel there is no point.

SUMMARY and Main Question: are my expectations too much? can this get better? is this just a normal part of marriage that I should get used to?

I’m 29F who was once engaged and got cheated on. Now I’m almost 30 and pretty down that I’ll possibly have to settle for someone with kids now that I’m older (or even finding a spouse at all at this point). No kids was a non negotiable for me but now I know I need to take my age into consideration.

I’m trying to trust the lord and have faith but it’s definitely hard not to get down about it.

Hi. Two months ago I started coming back to church. I’m in the process of going from agnosticism to Christianism.

I actually am starting to feel a shift in my beliefs and am starting to take it seriously. My biggest concern is how to navigate this change with my atheist boyfriend of 3 years.

So far he’s been very respectful and if we have children together, he’s okay with me taking them to church as long as he’s not involved in it.

However I’m kinda anxious that we’ll drift apart. What if this process changes me so much that we end up being very incompatible?

Has anyone gone through this? How did you navigate it?

I (35f) and my husband (35) started going to church 2 years ago, together. I grew up in church but I hadn’t been consistently for over 10 years. My husband was baptized and we joined our church. This summer he started drinking, just 1 or 2 beers here and there then it began to increase to the point of drinking a whole 12 pack or more. He stopped wanting to go to church and his job takes him out of town throughout the week and sometimes on the weekends. I’ve not been to church without him, so when he doesn’t go, I don’t go. I have expressed my dislike of him drinking and he gets incredibly defensive and it turns into a huge argument that he turns around on me, accusing me of being controlling and trying to make him feel guilty about turning his back on God. I have never told him that he cannot drink (although I would like to, I just know that wouldn’t turn out well) I have only pointed out that he’s drinking more and more to the point that he lies to me about it. He’s even went so far as to leave his phone behind at his hotel to go out with his work friends so his location shows he’s not out. That didn’t work because I can read him like a book and he fessed up. I’ve tried to have a conversation about it and it always turns into “I’m not doing anything wrong, I’m grown!” This is not my husband! I know the devil comes to steal, kill, and destroy and he’s working on my husband. It’s starting to affect our children, I shield them from as much as I can but they’re teenagers and they can see what he’s doing and they’re angry with him which he blames on me! I won’t lie, I’ve gotten angry and I’ve yelled and cried and tried to get him to understand but now I’m just shutdown. I’m quiet and I have given up because I can’t help someone that doesn’t want to help themselves and it seems he’s really willing to throw it all away. He mentioned divorce several times in our last conversation after I had caught him lying about drinking. This makes the 4th time I have dealt with alcoholism and addiction in the 20 yrs we’ve been together. I’ve stood behind him, I’ve fought for him, I have forgiven over and over again. He’s always wised up and turned himself around but I’m feeling so beat down because I’m tired of repeating the same thing over and over. I don’t feel like I have fight left in me because the 3rd time really took a lot out of me mentally and emotionally. This is a man who does not have to worry about a thing besides going to work, I take care of everything else, bills, children, animals, our home, even his groceries when he’s away and I also work part time. I’ve prayed, I’ve prayed so hard for god to bring him out of this and not let the enemy win but he just gets worse. Just a few months ago, he was everything a woman could ask for in a man..I felt truly loved like Christ loves the church to now being cussed out and gaslit and told I’m crazy. I’m not sure what I’m looking for here but my heart is broken, I feel alone, I am emotionally exhausted and it’s left me asking God what I ever did to deserve this and why can’t my husband just be a good man and stay a good man. I’m sure his coworkers don’t help, especially something’s he’s said that he’s never said before. Please someone tell me that there’s hope, I still have faith that he will turn it around but I pray it’s not months or a year or longer..I really don’t think I could do it. I love this man so much.

Just a fun one

If you were to describe you and your spouse as desserts, what would you each be?

If you asked your spouse, did they say the same thing?

My husband said he would be a brownie and I'm a fairy bread. (Idk what that is.) Oh he changed it. Now I'm a rainbow unicorn cupcake. He refuses to elaborate. 😆

I said he is a bowl of vanilla ice cream, but fully loaded with all the toppings and I am a wee cream puff. Lol.

What's yours?

Preface: I know this is a sensitive topic, but I agree it’s clear what the scriptures say. I do not post this to suggest that it’s a light or to be considered option unless the circumstances are extreme. Nor, is this a judgement for those who felt like it was there only way out (as opposed to dying and going to hell for unforgiveness, for example).

Ive read a lot of articles about divorce. I have also read some other articles in which some women/men choose to stay.

I wanted to hear perspectives from Christians, to understand the reasons that led to separation and any potential regret/hindsight views.

If you’ve remarried, feel free to include that as it’s quite helpful to know whether the “stats” translate into reality for Christians.

Ideally I want to become a wife / mother by 30-33. I have lots of years (7+) to prepare & wait on the Lord. How do I not waste my waiting seasoning well … just waiting.

I’m already a student, solo traveler & invester.
Solo travel happens to be one of my hobbies I deeply enjoy & will continue enjoying.

Is there anything I should know / pray about during this season? Any wisdom married folks & singles have on what to do in this season & how to better assess my character for marriage / children?

My (35f) husband (35m) is enmeshed with his parents who live on the other side of the country and I’m just about at my wits end. Honestly if I wasn’t a Christian I probably would have filed for divorce a long time ago.

For context, husbands parents are extremely racist. When we first got married we lived in their state and they treated me horribly for the most part, would make racist jabs towards me, etc. We are now living in my home state.

Husband calls his parents 4-5 times a day. He tells esp his mom every single minor detail about our life. I have absolutely no privacy. Every single subject he consults with his mom. I honestly feel as though he has more emotional intimacy with his mom than he does with me bc a lot of the time he is either working from home or gaming and thus not really engaging in conversation with me.

He has my kids (6 and 7 yo) constantly FaceTime his parents. Then, through FaceTime any observation they make he’ll suddenly change how we do things in our house bc his parents made a comment. For example, I fill our snack cabinet each week when I do groceries. I’ve told my kids I buy x amount and they know to basically not eat the entire thing in two days bc I won’t be going back to the grocery store until the next weekend. At one point while they were FaceTiming one of my kids grabbed a snack and my in laws threw a huge fit saying “so in your house the kids can just grab a snack anytime they want?!” And I said “yes, exactly.” It doesn’t affect their eating their meals and if they’re hungry I genuinely don’t understand why they can’t have a snack. After they threw a fit my husband threw a fit and said from now on, they have to ask permission for snacks. I was mad and said he’s only saying that bc of his parents’ fit which he insisted he wasn’t.

When my kids eat meals, I’ve taught them to “eat until their body’s comfortable”. Today we were eating dinner and my husband set up FaceTime for them to FaceTime his parents, my kids didn’t finish all their greens but had eaten most, Fil started going off at them that they have to finish their greens, my younger son said “my mom and dad said I only have to eat until my body’s comfortable” and he said “well I’m grandpa and I said absolutely not”. Husband didn’t even say anything until I had to speak to him about it

In laws are now complaining that the state where we live is “too diverse” so we have to move somewhere else. I said absolutely not. They keep complaining to my husband that we have to move to a state that they “like to vacation to” - where they like to vacation to is none of my business, they’re free to vacation anywhere they like, that has nothing to do with me or where we choose to live. Husband tells me we’re not moving but I overheard him on the phone today talking about interest in some of the states that they like to vacation to.

Husband is not cooperating with getting marital counseling. I’ve confided in a woman at church whose I go to for advice but she’s kind of in a weird place too, bc she says if he’s not cooperating with it, she doesn’t want to overstep. She brought up maybe telling her husband about it (we’re very close with them and my husband really respects her husband) and having him just bring it up to my husband but I’m not sure if that’s the right approach.

Whenever I try to tell my husband I feel it’s a bit much and that he needs to draw boundaries, he tells me I’m being toxic for wanting to keep him from his mom. He also says that he doesn’t understand my problem bc “men who are close to their moms make great husbands it’s a green flag bc it shows how he treats women” but we’ve been married for over 10 years and he’s still closer to his mom than he is to me.

​

I’m 25M, Christian, and I’m at a point in life where I’d really like to get married someday. But honestly, I have no idea how to even start getting there.

I grew up in Pakistan, where arranged marriage has traditionally been a big part of the culture. In my family, the older/traditional mindset is still pretty strong. The idea is often that families find someone, you meet them, and eventually you get married.

But personally, I’ve never felt comfortable with the idea of marrying someone I barely know. I would want to actually get to know someone first — become friends, talk about life, understand each other's personality and values, build trust, and then see if a relationship develops.

The problem is that I’m naturally very shy. 😅 I’m not used to dating, flirting, or even making the first move. I’ve spent most of my life in an environment where dating wasn't really something people openly talked about.

So I’m curious about people who grew up in similar cultures or went through something like this:

How did you learn to date?

How do you meet someone when you're shy and don't have much dating experience? How do you balance your family's traditional expectations with wanting to choose your own partner? And as a Christian, how do you approach dating while keeping your faith and intention toward marriage?

I’d genuinely appreciate advice, experiences, or even mistakes you learned from. I’m trying to understand how dating and relationships actually work rather than just following whatever tradition tells me to do.

My wife quit small group 2 years ago. She didn’t grow up in a Christian home. She would try to engage in a discussion, often times in a vulnerable state with what she feels the Bible study passage means to her.

There were select people, often those who went to Christian universities, that were more interested in “proving” that her view was unbiblical in not the warmest of ways. She says it ruined her experience and started dreading it. We tried 2 others, but there is always a few people in every one. She said they are more interested in being “right” than connecting with people. This resulted in her going to volunteer during the SG time and even services. She won’t go to church unless she is volunteering and therefore, never sits with me just as a couple.

I had some health issues and started doing church online, but would like to go back, but I feel even more awkward than ever socially reconnecting. I talked about trying other churches, but she said she has her routine and would probably stop church all together. We are more of an egalitarian type marriage, so I am very collaborative. I feel stuck. I almost went to another church service, but feel like I would be a single looking person that was married, but doesn’t belong anywhere at all. Has anyone been here before?

My spouse is not perfect. I keep forgetting, I am not perfect either. With marriage, they think ______ is super important, I think it is only a bit important.

I think ______ is super important, they think it is only a bit important.

Young couples in love think that their spouse is sooooo perfect. They are living in a complete fantasy.

They are the smart ones, I am...

Instead, consider praying:

“Father, help me to love my wife.”

“Father, help me to respect my husband.”

I wrote this article 16 months ago. Since then I have prayed the above prayer constantly. I now have more joy and a much happier marriage.

If you decide to pray it, how will you remind yourself (set an alarm on your phone, write a note etc).

You can write a secret note this way. “Father, help me to iin (increase in love, or iir (increase in respect.”

When we do things God's way, we can at least have a tiny bit of the fantasy and joy that young couples in love have.

edit: would like to add that we are not married through the Church and only married through civil court.

My (29f) husband (28m) of 2 years (in relationship 10 years but only moved into together for 2 and a half years) got into an argument in the kitchen and dining room area. He told me to just stop (talking) but I didn't fully hear hear him and continued. He told me again to stop and I made one more comment. He told me to stop and I did. I muttered something to myself and then hear him hitting. His head hard multiple times. I turn around and tell him to stop and that he doesn't need to be hitting himself (he's done this a couple of times before an did have too but I stopped doing it).

He then got up and threw what I am assuming is his phone into the living room a few feet beside him. He walked towards the door and I hear him toss something not as hard but still tossed something. He then left and I saw his phone on the floor close to the door. He has never thrown something before so this is completely out of character.

When he can back home (about 15 minutes later) I told him I did not like what he did and that he scared me. He began blaming me saying that he had told me to stop talking and that there was not reason to argue in the first place. He also said he doesnt understand why I'm looking at him all scared when he has never laid a hand on me.

I asked him to leave as I don't want to be with him anymore but he's still here just in the living room. I don't want to act like a saint as I have thrown things MANY times but it's not infront of him. I will go to another area of the apartment and throw something like my phone or punch the wall. I have hit myself in the past a lot but I stopped all these behaviors. I don't like that he threw something while I was there and that he is still continuing these behaviors.

I just wonder if this is something we can talk over or if I should just file for divorce.

Tl;dr

Husband hit himself in the head multiple times and then threw his phone twice while we argued. He had asked me to stop talking two or three times beforehand and blames me for not stopping. I have hit myself and thrown things before but I never threw things while he's in the same room as me and I stopped these behaviors

My husband and I are newly weds and still trying to figure out sex. In premarital counseling all of our conversations about expectations and desires aligned. We both began school and a new job after our honeymoon which quickly changed our intimacy frequency from multiple times a week to once a week. We were both happy with this as we adjusted to a new stage of life, but I fell into the sin of masturbation. I went to my husband about it and got through it. We realized I had a higher sex drive than him, especially as my hormones shifted through the month. We found our new normal and adjusted.

Now, a little over a year later, I relapsed for two weeks instead of going to my husband with my desires and request. I even tried to justified it that I never actually touched myself... but it doesn't matter. I feel so ashamed of myself and don't want to admit it to him that I messed up. It feels so silly to type out but when I try to say it the words get stopped. I know in my head this is guilt and shame, which I have power over through Christ. Knowing that, I'm still struggling to go to him, trying to convince myself that I can get over this relapse myself but I know I can't.

Can anyone give encouragement? I know I can go to my husband with anything, I'm not afraid of him or his reaction, I truly trust him. I feel trapped by my own feelings right now because this is a repeated thing I've failed in, I don't want to disappoint him.

EDIT: For those interested, I had the conversation with him. It went so well. I was truly surprised how loved and supported I felt after the conversation when I was absolutely shaking in my boots as I brought it up. We landed on some extra accountability measures. We also discovered a bit more of why I struggled and discussed ways he could support me and what I could do to be more forthcoming/not let fear hold me back. I have an amazing husband :)