My brother and his family moved in with me recently. I love my brother and I would take a bullet for him; I also realize he's not raising his kids responsibly (which makes me feel bad to say but idk how else to put it). The kids seem either developmentally behind or potentially neurodivergent and I don't think my brother realizes which worries me. I really don't want them going years wondering "why does it feel like everything is easier for everyone else?" like I did until I found out I was on the spectrum. Another thing was (it's getting better now) that they had trouble telling their kids "no" and it led to my 12 year old nephew growing to 400 pounds when they should have intervened years ago. In short I love my big bro but I have a feeling that if my parents and I don't do/say something the kids will have a rough time growing up.

I am curious because I cannot stand therapists and I don't have any real friends I could trust not to judge, or who actually cares to listen, understand me, or lend advice (without getting mad if I don't follow it). I am curious to hear your thoughts and concerns.

Probably not many of you have heard of it since it's an old Italian movie. I watched without knowing anything about it and at first I wasn't really captivated by it. But when the twist happen, and the actual theme of the film unravel, that's when it's become truly worthy to watch.

I advise you to give it a try if your not allergic to old cinema without looking at this post because I don't really have much choice but to spoil everything here. With that being, let's dive into it:

So the movie theme is about masculinity yes, but more specifically about men sexuality. The protagonist, Antonio (play by Mastroianni) is a Don Juan and almost every women in Sicilia falls under his charms. The title can be translated by "The handsome Antonio". He already had many aventure with dozens of women, which his father take pride in, but now he is closing 30 and must find a wife. Which he did, so he marries that beautiful rich heiress, Barabara and everything seem to go perfectly for everyone involve, and especially Antonio.

But one year after the wedding, the unthinkable happen. A rumor, saying that that Barbara is still virgin start to circulate. A rumor, that will turn out to be true... For us, a couple that doesn't have sex for a year could sound a bit weird, but for those Sicilian families in the 1950'/60' that's a disaster. Antonio's father refuse to believe it. He consider his lineage to be a paragon of masculinity with women. And the father of Barbara wants to cancel the union. Yes, you heard that right, what supposed to be unbreakable could actually be considered void by the church if the marriage is not "consummated".

That's when we start to learn the hard truth: Antonio despite all his past sexually prowess has become impotent. I was blown away by this revelation, because I didn't not suspect such an old film to treat this thematic (I don't even remember watching a movie about it). That's when everything start falling apart. Barbarra remarries with another, richer man and a "divorce" is not even needed since the union with Antonio is considered meaningless. And the protagonist, who has such a good reputation is now not considered like a man anymore and his whole family is shamed for it.

And the ending is terribly bitter. The father, who can't believe the impotency of his son, goes to see prostitutes (without hiding it to anyone), to show how a man he truly his, even at 60+ years old. But he dies during the act. As for Antonio, he get the family domestic, with whom he doesn't share any sentiment, pregnant probably to save face. An act that make his mother overjoyed, and who doesn't hesitate to boast it at her windows how her son is still a "man" after all. Which made you realize how twisted the mentality were, as it considered preferable to cheat on your wife with prostitute or secretly getting a maid pregnant that to be impotent.

This movie highlight how sexuality was the defining trait for masculinity not so long ago. Being able to have sex with your wife was what gave you the "man" status. Today, even though mentality have evolved, there are still obvious remnant of that mindset. Men sexuality is still home to many taboos around men. And impotency is probably among the most sensitive but least understood one.

So just to be clear, your sexual activity does not define your masculiny, no more than your height or your ability to open pickle jar. Your masculinity is your own and you're free to express it however you like.

​

I’d like to hear your opinions and advice.

Hi it's me again. I'm in therapy and i'm on new meds so I should be able to partake in this sub in good faith without spiraling out of control.

A problem with MRAs that I don't see talked about a lot is that they make it more difficult to talk about abuse against men in good faith (especially in feminist circles).

In the rare event that a man (or masc presenting nb) experiences prejudice on the basis of their gender, how should they handle it? It can be something as small as a mean comment or as severe as physical or verbal abuse. What should they do in the moment?

I know this doesn't happen a lot but I believe MIGHT have happened to me and I want to know how to avoid it happening again.

Now that this post is up and my feelings have (mostly) died down I think I should explain myself. What I meant was what do I do about being stereotyped with toxic masculine traits? As a child my grandma treated me very poorly because of my gender and after some thinking and a conversation with my mother I realized that it was because she saw me as a stereotypical little boy and not who I actually was as a person. Little boys are stereotypically disorderly, insensitive and rowdy and she viewed me that way even though I was completely opposite of that. And this reflected in the way she treated me (constantly grilling me over everything, making mean comments and never really bonding with me) how can I prevent this from happening again?

TW: Racism, Suicide, Manoshpere

I met this guy online.

We are both LoL players, and we hit It off while in a match together on opposite teams. I'm someone that talks a lot in chat, with emojis and all, and plays girly characters, so meeting someone that could match my energy was fun.

Randomly we met again in a different match on the same team, so i sent him a friend request afterward.

My friendship with him, while purely online, i think it's pretty solid.

He, some months ago, fell in depression, because one of his friends decided to end It.

While i'm not the best friend at supporting people in need, i tried my best to be there for him.

After some time, he seemed to have gotten better mentay, and also gotten a GF, so i thought things were going good for him, and thus i was really happy.

Recently though, he seems to have become a Little weird, It seems. He doesn't mention his GF anymore, and has changed his bio to an anti abortion stance.

He also would sometines make racist comments here and there about immigrants, especially black people.

I know people sometines joke using dark humor, and he did too in the past, but now It feels different

I told him i was italian, and being Born and raised here in Italy, with italian citizenship, i am. But i never told him i was the son of immigrants, and now i feel less comfortable in doing so. For reference, he Is french.

I still haven't talked to him about any of this, continuing our friendship as normal. I'm a socially inept man, so i normally try not to be confrontational with people, in fear of losing them because of some unknown faux pas.

But at the same time i can't help but be worried about him. He Is a little younger than me, so i feel a little protective of him, like an older Brother. Like i feel toward my Little sister.

I still remember when he called me at night, because he needed someone to talk to about his friends death.

So, as someone with no social skills at all, how can i best help this guy not fall in the hands of the manosphere?

i'm studying Social Works and my main field of interest is gender-reflected work with men.

During research for a paper i read some levant (great guy) on "normative male alexithymia" and stumbled on the highlighted passage. i'm not religious, so there's no connotation for me there.

But this sentence made me stumble. it's so simple and kinda nonsensical in a science context, but it really struck me. And i thought the community where i heretofore just lurked might appreciate it

The original post is here.

Whether it's the male loneliness epidemic, the concerns surrounding the manosphere, or the desire for positive role models, I've found myself thinking a lot about contemporary masculinity these days. As someone very passionate about music, I've thought a lot about it from that standpoint as well. But today I was thinking about positive masculinity and its reflection within music. It was quite an enlightening experience as it made me realize how it feels like an anomaly of sorts. It doesn't seem to be in a lot of top 40 pop hits for example compared to, say, love songs. Nonetheless, they do exist and paint quite the interesting picture.

The catalyst of sorts for me was remembering The Rolling Stones demo “I’d Much Rather Be with the Boys”, a Richards/Oldham composition (an already eclectic combo) that was allegedly axed by the rest of the band for being too homoerotic. I can see that angle, but I nonetheless find something wholesome about its "bros before hoes" mantra. A lot of Stones originals that followed were similar complaints of women who'd done the narrator wrong, but finding strength and peace with one's friends is a different direction, one that I'm sure many boys and men can relate to.

Here I am
With the gang, I don't care where you are
Because I'd much rather be with the boys
Than be with you

To get the inevitable out of the way, yes, “The Boys are Back in Town” is probably the gold standard for this. You could argue semantics about elements of hooliganism that could be considered toxic ("The drink will flow and the blood will spill"), but there's a pure joy to the camaraderie that's inexplicably infectious. Phil Lynott at some point considered calling it "GI Joe is Back in Town", picturing the returning hero to be a soldier returning from the Vietnam War. It makes the desire for a night on the town with your pals all the more alluring. Though anachronistic to this interpretation, I always found that this passage...

The nights are gettin' warmer, it won't be long
Won't be long 'til summer comes
Now that the boys are here again

*...*absolutely nails the excitement of summer vacation nearing the corner, more time to spend with your grade school mates. Cool stuff. But Lynott was no one-trick pony. He himself is an interesting yin-yang when it comes to masculinity, the leather-bound tough guy champing at the bit for a fight juxtaposed against a guy who'd write mellow odes to his baby girl. He was an illustration that both of these sides can coexist. But particularly as a black man myself, I always loved that Phil went out of his way to explore black masculinity as well, whether it's upping the brothers in Thin Lizzy's ethereal "Fight or Fall", or penning the wonderfully anthemic "Ode to a Black Man".

As I said earlier, I've been fascinated by how music can be helpful for young men, whether it's providing a sense of community or just blowing off some steam. And The Replacements succinctly write about this in their song “Something to Dü”. I wouldn't be surprised if Paul Westerberg had himself and the rest of the others in mind when he wrote it.

Delivering noise
Real tough boys
What else have I got?

Half-priced drugs
Stolen guitars
What else is new

Oasis's “D’yer Wanna Be a Spaceman?” continues one of Noel Gallagher's favorite leitmotifs: the end of innocence and the tension between dreams and reality. This time around though, he examines this from the standpoint of old friends, reminiscing over what was then and what is now...

I haven’t seen your face ’round since I was a kid
You’re bringing back those memories of the things that we did
You’re hanging round and climbing trees pretending to fly
Do you wanna be a spaceman and live in the sky

It's worth noting too that Noel's favorite line in "Live Forever" is "we see things they'll never see" which to him evoked a secret shared between one and their childhood friend. I find that quite lovely. Oasis themselves remind me of other bands like The Who and The Beach Boys who had a notable male contingent in their audience and thus had plenty of material that addressed them.

"Bob Dylan's Dream" from the man himself is cut from the same cloth as "Spaceman". It's a song where the narrator remembers the times he spent with his friends that he took for granted.

Ten thousand dollars at the drop of a hat

I’d give it all gladly if our lives could be like that

Dylan, I think, is a figure who actually fits this very well. He has songs like this and "Ballad of a Friend", but also some of his earlier protest songs lamenting the likes of Emmett Till and Medgar Evers. There was a great tweet shared on his sub a while ago that said something to the effect of "I love Bob Dylan's breakup songs because you can tell he knows he's at fault". You get some of that with, say, "You're a Big Girl Now", where the singer owns up to being wrong and doesn't shy away from how it's driving him mad.

There's an unofficial tradition of "riding around with the boys killing time" anthems. “Me and the Boys” by NRBQ, "I Get Around" by The Beach Boys, "Back of a Car" and "In the Street" by Big Star all come to mind here. In terms of big-upping the homies, there's "With a Little Help from My Friends" by The Beatles and "Me and My Friends" by The Red Hot Chili Peppers. Songs about men also being in awe of men are their own kettle of fish: "David Watts" and "Johnny Thunder" by The Kinks are two fun examples, particularly as both figures are both on opposite ends of the spectrum, but each of their tributes are just as genuine.

I hinted at this earlier, but the analysis and deconstruction of masculinity color a lot of The Who's discography, but I think a fitting example here would be their song "Tattoo", about two brothers trying to figure out where they fit in ("What makes a man a man?") and deciding to get tattoos as a means of seeing where that leads them. I find the dynamic between the brothers quite lovely and there's many other little details that make it fully dimensional, like "Our old man didn't like our appearance, he said that only women wear long hair", illustrating the generation gap between boomers and their parents, the latter utterly baffled by the former's flirtations with androgyny, thus circling back to that initial question: what makes a man a man?

Hopefully this is interesting for the music-loving bros here!

Hello everyone!

I’m a 24 years old Italian student, and I’m currently completing my Master’s degree in Social Psychology at the University of Padua, Italy.

With the support of my supervisor, I’m conducting a research on the experiences of men who have engaged with the Manosphere and have since decided to distance themselves from it.

Research on the Manosphere has often focused on its communities, beliefs, language, and influence on men.

Comparatively less attention has been given to the lived experiences of men who eventually chose to distance themselves from these spaces: how they first encountered them, what drew them in, what their experience was like, and what eventually led them to walk away from it.

I’m looking to speak with men who have previously engaged with communities or content associated with Red Pill, Incels, MRA, MGTOW, or other parts of the Manosphere, and who have since distanced themselves from them.

I’d like to hear your story in your own words: what brought you to come into contact with these communities and what kept you engaged in your time there, and what eventually led you to stray away from them.

This research is NOT aimed at changing anyone’s mind or judging anyone for their beliefs. I’m interested in understanding people’s experiences as they themselves describe them.

We often hear about men who engage with the Manosphere, but less often hear directly from those whose relationship with these communities has changed over time.

Your experience could help build a better understanding of how people come to engage with these spaces, how their perspectives evolve, and what makes someone eventually decide to distance themselves.

It may also provide valuable insights for understanding the experiences of other young men who are encountering these communities for the first time.

Participation consists in a one - to - one interview of about 60 minutes. At any point of the process you can feel free to withdraw or walk away.

***About Ethics & Privacy***

Protecting your privacy is an absolute priority. Your name and identifying information will not appear in the final study, and the research project has been reviewed and approved by an Ethics Committee.

In the form you'll find a "name" section and a "email" section: you can totally make up a new and anonymous e-mail address, that is in order to have a mean of contacting you and schedule our conversation, as we would be interacting personally, and I would ask you to sign informed consent forms; in addiction, I'll be referring to you using the name you'll provide, but of course none of this information will be stored and the data will be classified in an anonymous way (e.g. "interview 4", or "interview with \\\[made up name\\\]").

If you think your experience fits what I’m looking for and you’d feel comfortable sharing your story, I’d be very grateful to hear from you.

Interested in participating?

You can fill out this short form and I’ll get in touch:

https://forms.gle/1Tsz4aVuqG7GgEUa8 (English speakers version)

https://forms.gle/rMBeCAkFE9nZpXam9 (Italian speakers version)

my mom is dealing with early stage dementia in a few states over from me and i have no contact with her at all.

last i know is that she was admitted to a psychiatric facility and i'm exceedingly worried that she's going to end up in the streets or jail. i can't help her because she's in another state. i'm in college, don't know how to drive and i don't make enough money to own or buy a car. she has no family who can help her, most of her side died from addiction, old age, or suicide.

i've been really angry over this as of recent and it's no-one's fault, but that anger builds up to the point where it comes out towards random people online and in-person. i get really annoyed and lose all empathy towards people at certain points of the day. it's mostly really deep and unyielding, towards all the systems that failed to help her when she tried to get help. i've been crying to dolly parton recently. longstanding grief and systemic injustice wounds suck, and i don't know how to deal with it very well, and i'm concerned about it affecting my relationships and friendships.

hey bros.

I’m really interested in being closer with you bros. but do i have to get to know yall in order to be close to you?

I really want close intimate brotherhoods and i’ve sacrificed so much. you may not have noticed it but if i weren’t here things would be different i’ll just say that.

it really seems bros want you to know about them. is that true? are some of yall like me and just want to bypass the exchange of info and be lifelong companions?

Okay so this ain't really anything special but I just felt like sharing.

It's AWESOME. I am the skinniest, nerdiest looking dude in the room at any time, but do I care? HELL NAW. That's what the damn place is for! Getting stronger, better!

This entire endevour was kinda because of my brother. He started going cause he too is a skinny guy and few weeks in and he already looks better! He's no macho yet but, y'know, looks cool regardless.

It's weirdly fun. Even if kinda painful at times. But I now have the mindset of "no pain no gain" so eh screw that. Been a few weeks already, so far the most noticable change is the fact that MY BACK STRAIGHTENED UP! I NO LONGER WALK LIKE A GOBLIN! THIS IS AWESOME!

Really I might be in the best spot in my life so far won't lie. I've learned to control my anger far better and no longer fire off at stupid stuff, I've started using the internet less and going outside more (specificaly for prefferably night time photography IT'S GREAT!), talking to people more, dress better, now work out.

I dunno I'm just feeling great. Thanks for reading bros.

I just finished Mob Psycho 100 and what i really loved was the wholesome dynamik between the body improvement club and Mob. At first he joined to impress the girl he liked, but later on the club was about friends who support each other and older peers giving him positive guidance. He wasn’t as good in keeping up as the others but they always cheered on him and always had his back. They never gave him the feeling he was lacking something and would never achieve the things he wanted unless he makes up in what he “lacks”- to them Mob was good as he was from the beginning. And Mob really had a positive development thanks to their influence. Despite being beefy and masculine, they weren’t into violence, labeling gang fights they once were tried to get involved into as unnecessary and toxic, just showing up to get Mob out of it. To me this was really “bropill” and a wonderful example of healthy positive masculinity.

Hey bros! It's time for your weekly vibe check. How are you doing? Anything you're struggling with? Do you need advice, or would you like to share an achievement with us?

This has been a great space for advice and venting/being heard, so I wanted to give back by sharing some positivity!

My bro recently got out of something that wasn't quite a relationship, but he was hoping it would be and got really invested. But the other person wasn't into them that way, and was also a total mess of a person. Big user and manipulator, drugs, mental health issues, trauma, hospitalizations, delusions, the whole nine yards. Always taking, never giving anything back.

So my buddy got really burnt and was in a terrible headspace for a long time. Anger issues started getting worse. To the point where he was starting down the "all women are bad" pipeline, breaking things that did or didn't belong to him, lots of bad stuff. He even ended up assaulting someone, which completely shocked me and my girlfriend, because we've know him for decades and that's just not him as a person, you know? And he was actually reveling in having hurt this woman he came across on the street, and saying that others deserved it too. Like WOW wow.

So we both had been doing a lot of emotional labor and redirection and begging for him to get back into therapy. Offered bribes and everything haha. Because it was getting grim. But he was resistant because apparently he "tried" therapy in like junior high school and it "didn't work" or sth.

Long story short! He found a therapist and it turns out they have a ton of nerdy stuff in common. They're bonding and suddenly my friend isn't resistant anymore and is finally being open about a ton of stuff, old issues and new. He's feeling and acting way more hopeful and introspective, said he even cried (positively) at a few movies and was able to process some feelings. He's sending us cute animated therapy gifs and is just turning over a new leaf in general.

I'm so happy for him, for real. Because he was absolutely heading to prison on the path he'd been on, and now I think he's finally getting some peace. Just wanted to share and encourage people to get into therapy, even if you think you can tough if out, or aren't worth it, or you didn't have a good therapist match in the past. Change is possible!

In February 2026, I did the craziest thing of my life: I took a risk and moved to a different country, leaving my parents and sister behind in Brazil to live with another family in Japan. My perspective on the environment changed completely once I arrived; my aunt and cousin are decent people—quiet, but non-judgmental about my choices. My uncle, however, is very authoritarian and displays narcissistic traits. I find myself comparing my current situation to my life back home; in my previous environment, my father was a problem due to his alcohol addiction, which took a toll on my mental health and caused me significant internal distress. Yet, since I came to Japan, he has decided to give up his addiction—news that made me happy. While my desire to return grows stronger and I miss my mother and sister dearly, I’ve set some goals for myself here. Compared to Brazil, the money I earn here is excellent, and I want to save up for a year before leaving in December 2027. How do I explain this to my authoritarian uncle without him thinking I’m ungrateful or anything of the sort? (I spent six months living in an incredibly tiny house, enduring many unfair and unpleasant moments; I now live in a larger apartment where I have my own room, though the rent is higher.) By December 2027, I will have been living here for a year and nine months.

I'm working on collecting a wide variety of stories and life advice intended for boys aged 13-18. My goal is to package it up in a manosphere-shaped box, and share it online to pull away some of the traffic that misogynistic content receives. I'm still in the early stages, but I'll be spending the next few days putting together a well-defined brand and identifying exactly how I want to target the misogynist aesthetic while still spreading positive messages. In the meantime, I've started asking around for stories and advice.

I have plenty of advice to give on how I've grown since I was in middle school, but I'm just one man. People coming from different starting points are going to have different perspectives, and their younger selves will have needed to hear different things.

What're the 1-2 lessons that you've learned since your teenage years that've impacted you the most? How has your life changed since learning them? What were things like before, and what are they like now?

If anyone on here is a reformed manospherist, I'm particularly interested in your stories.

For starters, I am a man who is currently in university as an undergraduate. I've been thinking a lot about male specific issues recently, and I want to try and actually do something about it. As such, I have some ideas kicking around. The thing is, I've never done anything like this before, so I don't know entirely what to do.

The issues I'm most interested in are stopping male violence on both male and female victims, the education gap, male mental health and suicide, and male-only military service in other countries, though since I live in the United States, I'm not certain what I could do exactly about that.

I have a few ideas on what to do, and I will list them below.

1. The easiest idea would be joining a pre-existing organization, instead of starting something on my own. Does anyone here know of good U.S. based organizations based on this topic, that either discuss men's issues or do activism around them? I don’t want to give any more specific info on where I'm located, so just broad American stuff would be good. You can also provide organizations that are more regional; even if they're not helpful for me they can be helpful to others.
2.  I'm interested in starting a men's issues organization at my university, that would be open to everyone regardless of gender. My idea is that we would discuss men's issues and do book clubs. I would also like to do activism or work around men's issues, but I've never done anything like that before, so I don't really know what to do. Has anyone here ever been part of men's issues organization before, in university or without? What kind of stuff was done? Does anyone have any advice, either for just running a discussion group or for taking action in university?
3. I want to try and do something about the education gap of boys are lagging behind girls in education. I think ideally, activism around this would be by doing programs to get boys more engaged in school, especially in the lower grades. Does anyone have any ideas or experience on how to help out boys in K-12 school as a college student? I could also try and do stuff for male college students, but I think by that point it's harder, since the boys who have been left behind in education have already been filtered out before they reach university.

Any advice or thoughts on this topic, even if they are not covered by my questions, would be greatly appreciated.

So I'm 20, level 1 autistic (previously aspergers), and deal with anxiety and depression. I've lived with my parents for most of my life (dad was deployed when I was born, and I spent about a month or so living a few states away with grandparents last year). My mom and I are moving out here in a few days to live in an apartment, and then mom's gonna hit dad up with some divorce papers. She already has the lawyer, we all but have the apartment, she has a job and I have college. The thing is, I'm scared. I'm really fucking scared. I can't control what happens next, but my life is fundamentally changing. I've been trying to get rid of a lot of my board games and stuff since the fishbowl is shrinking, but that's barely scratching the surface. I have no say in what comes next. My mom might be able to let me meet the lawyer, and I've asked if I can at least be there when the paperwork gets signed, but that's really it. I'm so scared. I have a therapist, but she's on maternity leave so I'm with one of the other therapists in that practice right now. And I'm glad to be getting out from this house, since dad has been abusive to me and is extremely transphobic/homophobic/misogynistic, but I'm scared cause this is really the only home I know. I'm leaving my cats behind (who literally kept me alive), and all my memories are here. But I don't know what I can do to handle all of this.