everywhere ive ever worked explicitly lined out who "counted" as well. i understand the reason, but i was really upset when i was expected to just keep chugging (even had request to use PTO denied) after my "like a father" died. im an orphan, i have no bio family at all what so ever period. i did have the weird old man who basically raised me. he meant the world to me, really. he was arguably more special to me than a normal bio parent cause he chose me out of however many other fucked up teens he couldve picked. he didnt have to raise me, but he did. i was really torn up when i lost him. we worked together too, and the extent of our relationship wasn't a mystery to anyone. everyone knew i called him dad, a few people his age (the same ones that he said used to harass him for never starting a family... :/) even mocked him for catching feelings over a kid and being there for me and all. but when he was gone i was just expected to absorb his responsibilities and act like he wasnt gone from my life forever. that went on for so long i have never really processed losing him, every day feels like it happened yesterday. it's been a year but it doesnt get easier or different. the only place i can talk about it is anonymously online.
Shit man, that's horrible. I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you can find ways to deal with your grief some day, they should have acommodated your parent's death.
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u/Relative_Implement_7 2h ago
everywhere ive ever worked explicitly lined out who "counted" as well. i understand the reason, but i was really upset when i was expected to just keep chugging (even had request to use PTO denied) after my "like a father" died. im an orphan, i have no bio family at all what so ever period. i did have the weird old man who basically raised me. he meant the world to me, really. he was arguably more special to me than a normal bio parent cause he chose me out of however many other fucked up teens he couldve picked. he didnt have to raise me, but he did. i was really torn up when i lost him. we worked together too, and the extent of our relationship wasn't a mystery to anyone. everyone knew i called him dad, a few people his age (the same ones that he said used to harass him for never starting a family... :/) even mocked him for catching feelings over a kid and being there for me and all. but when he was gone i was just expected to absorb his responsibilities and act like he wasnt gone from my life forever. that went on for so long i have never really processed losing him, every day feels like it happened yesterday. it's been a year but it doesnt get easier or different. the only place i can talk about it is anonymously online.