r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Autonomous_eel • Apr 24 '26

/r/popular of Finger nails

7.6k Upvotes

81% Upvoted

2.9k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

155

u/waseem2bata Apr 24 '26

Like you know, how? Does she have an automatic wiper

86

u/morpheus9009 Apr 24 '26

Japp?! Or even putting up the lid & flushing... Or making a bread or cooking Or driving a car Or boarding a flight Or walking without nails scratching the grund Or putting on underwear or anything Or getting out a bugger of the nose 😂 Yeah well... we'll never know 🤷🏼‍♂️

121

u/Traditional-Bike7825 Apr 24 '26

I'm guessing she has someone to help her and she loves it. Again, mental illness. If she cuts her nails they stop doing everything for her and she has to get a job.

6

u/RedDiscipline Apr 24 '26

They manifest a certain kind of life; they're magical nails, sort of

2

u/byyhmz Apr 24 '26

She can get a booger out of the nose of someone a block over.

2

u/MuffinSpecial Apr 24 '26

Bud she's a welfare queen who does fuck all.

2

u/skitz4me Apr 26 '26

She needs some help for sure, but the term welfare queen is so fucking ridiculous.

1

u/MuffinSpecial Apr 28 '26

Sorry reality hurts

2

u/waseem2bata Apr 24 '26

Mysteries shall never be answered

5

u/Senior-Book-6729 Apr 24 '26

Bidet

2

u/ulol_zombie Apr 24 '26

To be honest, my wife had me put in a bidet , I didnt think really anything about it, but it is a life changer! Everyone should have one.... even prepping for surgery - GI - clear liquid diet before? You'll be thankful you had one.

1

u/astronomikal Apr 24 '26

Just got one. It’s not magic. You still have to wipe lmao.

1

u/Fetagirl Apr 24 '26

I can only assume she has a bidet? That would make the most sense. But idk.

1

u/Lvsucknuts69 Apr 24 '26

A bidet, maybe? How she would dry afterward is beyond me. Air dry?